Chasing Megersa

farewell old friend

2010-04-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

Well, this will be the last post on Chasing Jace.

Megersa is home and we're now a family of 4.

He's been here 3 weeks and I feel as though I'm no longer on the "adoption train ride."

We got off and now we're just hanging out in the jam-packed family theme park. :)

All kinds of fun adventures lie ahead and I'll blog all about them in our new family blog:

Box of Chocolates

Hope you've enjoyed being here with me.

Stay as long as you like; catch up if you need to, or...follow us to the next ride!!

2+1

2010-03-28T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today we had extra time before church (I can't believe it either!!)...so I decided on an impromptu photo shoot of the boys in their Sunday best!
Those two are so stinkin' cute - I just can't wait for the day that Cale voluntarily plays with Megersa! :)

Cale's best angle is NOT this one. :) ha ha! Megs is super excited though! Can you see the candy behind Cale's cheek? Bribery.
He kept YELLING "cheese!" He would hold it out so long it often looked forced.

This one is plain cute. Megersa is fascinated by Cale.

Do you see the little baggy of small candies next to Cale's leg? Incentive.

I WISH this picture wasn't fuzzy. It's so cute.

The best one, though I wish Megersa was smiling!!

Cale didn't care for this positioning.

One of the better ones, though it's a little 'yellowy.'

WELL...It's been 2 weeks and 1 day since Megersa came home.

I forgot to post yesterday...or I was too busy. Probably both.

Either way though, I'd like to make a quick post to tell you more about Megersa:

1. Megersa can now sit up alone.

About a week or so after he came up I could tell that it was coming soon. His back was getting much stronger, and now I dont really have to worry about him falling over when I put him down on his butt. SOMETIMES he'll lunge for something and then fall face down, but he's usually pretty steady.

2. Megersa is a PIGGY!

He's totally chowing down these days. I think he went from 3, 6oz bottles and mushed up crackers to 3 full baby food meals (and various bottles) in such a short time, I'm still trying to catch up to his appetite! BUT, I really love making baby food. Cooking, in general, soothes me...so this process is always fun to me. Plus, I'm a huge bargain shopper, so the thought that a 1 lb bag of carrots could feed him for several meals, and only cost $.99, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy - just like when I find things on clearance for 75% off or more! I'm so proud of his weight gain. He was such a tiny little thing when I first picked him up, but he's catching up to where he probably should be faster than I can shovel the food in!

3. His sleep is...a work-in-progress.

Tim and I weren't necessarily "blessed" with much of a sleeper in Cale, but even with that, so you'd think that we'd be used to getting up at night -but to add another "adjustment" in an infant is harder than we remembered. I guess to bottom line it - he's doing better at the night wakings than the first week. Usually it's about once a night (around 2-4) and then early morning for a bottle. Where Tim and I struggle is the early morning alarm clock. We did a pretty good job of programming Cale's body clock for a wake up after 7:30a (and sometimes even till 8:30a!!!), but we are still working on Megersa. He must be an early bird...which Tim and I are NOT. We love to stay up late...but that kicks us in the butt when we have to get up early. Ugh.

4. Megersa doesn't really care much for stroller rides.

I mean, sure, he's only had 3 in his life...but when he's not tired, he doesn't seem to enjoy it very much. Maybe it was because despite the cold, we decided to go for a family walk yesterday...My little man was NOT digging it! We will have to work on this one. I like carrying him in the ERGO, but before you know it, he won't fit in it anymore.

5. He gets CRAZY energetic when he's tired.

A few days ago I started catching on to his "tired" signals. You'd NEVER think it, but when he's tired and totally ready for bed - he'll start to squeal, and giggle and move his body as if he just drank a bottle of 5 hr energy. Most people would think that he just woke up, but Nope! He is ready to go down...the sooner the better. It's so strange, isn't it? Anyway, I think I'm starting to understand what he wants more and more as the time goes on. I'm happy for that!

We love him and love to watch his continued transition into our family.

boogie picker

2010-03-26T17:25:00.000-07:00

Judging by the title, you'd probably think this post was about Cale, huh?
You're WRONG!
I'M the boogie picker. I pick my kids boogies.
There. I said it. :)
It's true.
I had just been thinking that I might not be able to come up with something to post about today; when I opened the car door to get Megersa out, and spotted a stray, dried booger.
I HAD to get it! It's a compulsion.

So what if this is a grosse post! The reason behind it is pretty.

See, one of my biggest pet peeves is when kids walk around with crusty snot everywhere....or when their hair is all snarled up (mainly girls, of course).

So, I pledged to Tim and myself (because clearly it's my issue), AND YOU!! that our children will NOT walk around with boogers - wet or dry - on their nose...or their cheeks...or hair...
I mean, seriously...
Have you seen those children with the dried snot on their faces, everywhere? It grosses me out!
YUCK!
I also will make sure that our girls' hair is combed...every day. I'll teach them to comb it and make sure there are no knots.
I will braid it tight or put it in ponytails if they can't handle having it down. (All of this will some day be more of an issue I'm sure...boys hair is pretty easy.)

Anyway, I can't even post a picture of my kids with boogies, because I will not allow it.
It's SNOT an option!! (HA HA HA)

I know Cale is more accustomed to the picking, but I sometimes think that Megersa thinks I'm coming at his nose with a tissue, or my fingernail (Yes, I DO this...it's fine. I wash my hands after) JUST to torture him.
But with both of them having colds, I'm CONSTANTLY picking and wiping their noses.

Megs has come a long way though.
The first time I touched his nose in ET he started whimpering.
That poor kid had something going on with his nose the first day I picked him up. It was either dried and cracked skin - or BOOGIES!!!!!!!
Since then, I've scraped away the mess and realized that it is dried skin.
He also is currently battling with eczema on his cheeks.
It's gotten much better recently...I've been massaging his face with lotion/hydrocortisone ointment every day...several times a day.
He's getting better at receiving these "massages" now.
He certainly prefers it to the nose picking, for sure!

Anyway. That's my boogie picking post.
Does anyone else have this strange quality that is attached to their mothering style, or lifestyle?
I know even if I didn't have kids...I'd be happy to say, that I am usually 100% boogie free. :)

me...alone?

2010-03-25T10:46:00.001-07:00

GUESS WHAT?

I'm going out tonight! Alone!!

Can you believe it?

Sure, it's only to a MOPS meeting....but I can hardly contain my excitement!

Dont get me wrong, I love all the testosterone that fills the bodies of the boys/men in my life very much, but sometimes it makes me forget I'm a girl.

A "WOMEN!" (chuckle, chuckle)

Basically, it's hard to remember that I'm more than just a Mom.

I change diapers, feed children and clean all day.

I haven't taken care of myself as much recently....girly-wise anyway. Poor Tim.

((I'll try and step it up for ya, baby!))

Sure, I get the occasional shower and shave...but tonight I'll take time to wear:

MAKEUP (when you're home alone with 2 boys without a car, why bother?)

CLOTHES (that aren't sweats, or shouldn't end up with boogers or spit up on them!)

NICE HAIR (I've had no time to straighten my hair - so it lays limp, or goes hog wild.)

PERFUME (this will, of course, be just for fun!)

Yay!

And you know what? Since the meeting isn't until 7pm, I won't feel antsy to get back by bedtime, because I certainly won't make it in time....so, I'm off the hook. :)

Hopefully I'll get to know some other moms...and maybe I'll even hit a store on the way back!

Although, if I know myself...I'll get all hyped up about this night out, and though I love to be alone, after a few hours, I'll be like...humph...I miss my boys.

It always happens.

They're messy, stinky and LOUD...but I couldn't live without them. Even Tim. :)

And just because I can hardly contain my laughter, I HAVE to post this picture a family friend sent to Tim. This picture was taken while I was in ET and Cale was being babysat so Tim could work.

Looks like I'm not COMPLETELY alone with wanting to dress up and look "pretty."

A hahahahahahahaha!!!!

Blackmail...pure blackmail. :)

The poop.

2010-03-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

To say that Megersa's diarrhea is gone is quite the understatement. Check out these pics:

And the video: (Observe the effort he puts behind the push...I thought his head was gonna explode!!)

And to answer your question - "Yes, it's okay to be scared after watching this." :)

Thank goodness for solid food!! Remember when I said he eats like a horse?

Well...what goes in, must come out. I feel like I'm up to my elbows in diapers again. JUST when I thought I was nearing the end of it for awhile....Cale picked up where Megersa left off. He's trying to make it to the potty....but, lets just say we'll give him a 'B' for effort. Not an A, because I heard him state the other day "I have a diaper on"...and then I caught him as he proceeded to start pushing. Thankfully we got him to the potty, but I was NOT pleased with his uncaring attitude toward his mother that would need to clean up yet another poopy mess!

And just because I decided to take the time to post videos, I'll upload one of Cale too! Don't worry, it's not recent. I think he's about 8 or 9 months in this one (I know, I know...he's a CHUNK):

(Sorry it's sideways...sometimes I forget I'm taking a video with a camera.)

Where are we now?

2010-03-23T11:51:00.000-07:00

I've concluded the posts about the trip.
So where are we now? What are we up to? Well, we're adjusting to being a family of 4.

I feel like I've heard the statement that 'going from 1 child to 2 children is harder than any other addition' in your family. And, I'm starting to feel it.

Nap times are often scattered and I don't shower until the late afternoon most days.

Megersa is becoming more and more vocal with his needs, which is a GOOD thing (that means he's starting to trust us) but its making me feel like I'm ignoring Cale more and more.

I know that this is silliness, and that every family that goes from 3 to 4 feels something to this exent...but having it be MY experience this time...it's just that - what I'm experiencing.

I'm still figuring out how to parent Megersa. I know this sounds crazy...but my parenting style feels shaken - at least from the way I parented Cale (as a baby anyway). See, I KNEW Cale from the moment of birth...even the 9 months before that...so when he came home, I felt more prepared.

I'm still trying to win Megersa over, so it's a bit different. And not always easy (don't let his adorableness fool you - he can, and WILL turn on the pitiful water works when he wants something! :).

Maybe I'm too hard on myself. Maybe I'm too hard on Megs....maybe I'm just used to having a toddler who can talk, and understand what I mean when I say "hang on" (while I change him) or "calm down" (when I'm getting his food ready)- someone that understands my soothing techniques.......

We are all adjusting. We are sleep deprived and the house is a mess...but there is JOY.

Some days I feel overwhelmed...and I wonder what I got myself into, but then other times it all feels like a dream. Did we really adopt?

Was this baby born in Ethiopia? In AFRICA?

I mean, what a story for him to tell someday!

My 'topper' experience is always "I've had brain surgery" but how many people do you know that can say they were born in Africa? That they've experienced more tradegy, transition, and change in their first 7 months of life than most people do in their lifetime?

Life isn't bad by any means...just slower AND quicker, if that makes sense. Each day seems prolonged before I get a break to myself, but because I'm running around changing this diaper, feeding this one, I'll turn around, the day is done and I got NOTHING accomplished.

It's not all bad. I dont want this post to get anyone down.

Megersa has been doing wonderfully! We've only had a few more throwing up episodes, and his poo is SOLID now - yay!! He's eating like a HORSE! I swear he's gained a couple pounds already...he's starting to get rolls on his legs!

He's getting stronger and stronger by the day, and he LOVES watching his crazy big brother run around all day. But, if wearing my heart on my sleeve here, I have to say that I wish I were back in Illinois, surrounded by my close friends. I do not regret being in Maryland, and I'm sure that in time, I will form close bonds and this will certainly feel like home.

I LOVE being back on the East coast, I love our new house...the fact that there are several play grounds nearby, and that we have a community pool that opens in a month!

I like our new church and the people I've met...but I miss my girlfriends very much.

I'm itchy to settle back in to play dates and girl nights.

But things have certainly changed in the past month!

I'm SO glad that I unpacked completely before I left, otherwise those things wouldn't have exited their boxes...I'm sure of it.

I want to keep posting as often as I can. I enjoy the outlet, because I don't as tied to the cyber part of the adoption world right now. I dont feel the need to be on the computer checking my email 1000 times a day for updates on stuff now, so that sort of odd 'excitment' is gone...but so much has taken it's place.

We do hope to adopt a little girl soon. (And when I say soon, I mean relatively-speaking of course...the wait for a baby girl is getting longer by the minute. I think they're up to 15 months now for a referral?) If we started the process now, we'd have her home in 2 years at best!

But, I think we'll get adjusted here first... :)

THE TRIP - Day 5 and homecoming

2010-03-22T06:37:00.000-07:00

Alrighty!! We're at the end of the Ethiopia trip log.
Last stop: Plane ride.
This one's gonna be a doosy!
Where did I leave off?

Oh yes...we we're both sick...Megersa and I. I had taken anti-diarrheal with minimal help from it, and Megersa was going on kisses and hugs.
I have to tell you that as we waited for the taxi I was DREADING the trip home.
We scheduled our driver to come super early (5:30p) for a flight that didn't leave until 10:15p. We wanted to get there and get in line to request a bassinet in the bulkhead seating.
Megersa slept in the carrier on the way over. We shared a shuttle bus with another AAI family leaving with their daughter Tigist, age 8. It was fun to talk with them and it was good to have people to spend time with in the airport as we waited to board.
We got to the airport and were able to quickly check-in and then walk through security. We saw that we would be the first ones in line to check our bags. We had an airport attendant tell us that the check-in counter didn't even open until 6:30p but we decided to stay and wait anyway. We were taking no chances with the bassinet. I was feeling pretty poorly at this point. I had been to the bathroom and back several times...and Megs diapers kept filling up.
When we got to the counter we requested a bassinet seat and she told me I could have one, but that Mom and I wouldn't be able to get seats together. She said that Mom would be in the seat in the same aisle, but not right next to me. She said she could get us seats together, but they wouldn't be bassinet...so she asked us to decide. After a small discussion, we decided it would be best to take the bassinet seat and then just try and switch seats with whoever was assigned a seat next to me.
After checking in we still had several hours before our flight took off, so the consensus from everyone else was to get dinner. I passed on it...but sat there groaning and moaning in pain. My stomach was killing me!
Kristy (Tigist's mom) offered me a diarrheal antibiotic she got from her doc. She said it would kill the bacteria I had in my system...and she also offered me some tums. I took them gladly, but they didn't really work for me.
They all ordered food and I sat in silence. I was really wanting to just get on the plane and get home. I was glad Tim's mom was with me. I think it would have been BRUTAL to have to go alone. After dinner Mom exchanged our birr back into dollars and we headed toward our gate.
Mom told me that there was a rumor going around that there was no bathroom at our gate. I was NOT thinking I would be able to sit there for the last hour without a bathroom, so I was reluctant to go through the last security point.
But...there's something about being at "the gate" even if you aren't called to board for awhile, isn't there? It FEELS like it's gonna happen soon.
So, I held my breath, and we walked through toward the gate. Turns out there WERE bathrooms just outside the gate...so we waited until the last 1/2 hour to get in line to get our bags xrayed again.
THIS was were it got worse.
We sat outside the gate. I was feeling bad.
I kept visualizing getting off the plane. Seeing Tim. Seeing Cale. I miss them SO much...especially Cale. (I had only ever been away from him for one night.)
I wanted to fast forward the next 20 hours. Mom was very concerned for me and asked me if I was okay. But all I could say was "this is the kinda sick that you just want to curl up on the couch and hold your belly."
Then I started crying.
Not bawling, nothing hysterical...just pitiful.
I closed my eyes and hot, wet, painful tears came out.
I could tell she was watching, and judging by her 'sniffling' she started crying too.
This all happened while I was feeding Megersa, so I just held him a little tighter.
I didn't want to think that this was a mistake...even mentally. I was SO happy to have this baby in my arms finally...but at the exact moment in time it was REALLY hard to have him in my arms, taking care of him as I was falling apart.
I gave Megersa a bottle and he seemed to be getting sleepy. I thought it would be a good idea to give him some infant tylenol...maybe to help his tummy and to help him sleep?
WRONG.
It helped him BARF! And not just a little bit - it kept coming and coming...ALL the formula that we had been giving him over the past few DAYS came up (okay...maybe not THAT much...but it was a TON!). I was really concerned for him. He seemed to choke on the puke as it came out.
He threw up on himself, his clothes, my carrier, and my jacket sleeve.
I quickly ran to the bathroom with him to try and clean him up...change his diaper (oh, bonus - he poops when he throws up!), and change his clothes. Mom came in to help as I tried my best to wash my sleeve and clean off the ERGO.
Once this was cleaned up, I just felt myself "suck it up" - I needed to take care of my baby. There was no time for myself right now.
We packed away the pukey stuff and got in line to get to the gate.
For whatever reason we had to send our carry-ons through security again. This was when I noticed HOW MANY adoptive families were going to be on this flight.
Soooo many babies and toddlers. I was glad we reserved a bassinet, no matter where we ended up sitting.
The security guard wasn't allowing liquids to pass through - even ones bought in the airport...but the family ahead of us told the guard that the water was "for the baby - for his bottle," so they allowed 1 bottle of water.
She had 2 bottles in hand, so she put one down and passed through.
I thought - HEY! We didn't buy any water to take, so let's just grab this one!
We told the guard the same thing, so he allowed it.
Then we waited some more.
We got seats toward the back of the gate and I noticed that WHOA! THis flight was gonna be PACKED. Jam packed.
And it was.
We had a green sticker on our boarding pass, so we were able to board first.
We found our seats and I was suppose to be sitting in the middle of the middle of the aisle. Mom was to be on the side, near the aisle. She was also seated in the bulkhead, by what looked like a spot for a bassinet.
We asked the stewardess if this was a spot for a bassinet and she said yes. I switched with Mom because at least I wouldn't be shoved in the middle with Megs.
We stuck to our plan and when the person who was suppose to sit down next to me came, we asked the steward if she could switch with Mom.
The man told us that she needed special assistance and couldn't sit in the middle...but they asked the man who was in the aisle middle row to move over and she said in his seat.
Mom came to sit with me. PRAISE GOD!
Seriously, it made the trip SO much better to know that I could count on her help. I told her too. I said to her that I'd really need her help this trip. I was feeling really bad.
As the plane filled up we discussed how annoyed we were that there was no baby sitting in the row bassinet seat while family after family went toward the back with their babies (and no bassinet). After awhile though, seats were moved around, and a man came up to sit there with his young toddler.
So, we sat and chatted until we took off.
The bassinets were not allowed to be attached until we were way in the air and the seat belt sign was off. Megs was a champ. I'm pretty sure he fell asleep in Mom's arms and when we were finally up high enough, we were able to transfer him to the bassinet.
He slept REALLY well when he WAS asleep. Briefly waking up from time to time, but nothing a little butt pat couldn't fix.
It was annoying that the lights would come on from time to time and BRIGHT as day in our eyes as we tried to sleep.
Thankfully though, we were able to get some sleep. I'm not sure how the families who didn't get a bassinet did it...but I know for myself, I can't fully fall asleep if I'm holding a baby. I'd be too afraid to loosen my grip and then have him fall.
Well...the flight was LONG. Megs woke up and we fed him more bottle. He vomited again. EVERYWHERE. We changed him. We were down 2 outifts now, 2 airplane blankets, 1 baby blanket, my jacket again (this time nothing could save it), and another diaper.
Not sure where we are with the diaper change count...but I'll tell you - when we got OFF the plane we used up all 5 outfits and 11 diapers, and messed through 5 airplane blankets...and the bassinet. YIKES!
Well, I dont feel like I should hash out the airplane ride any more than that.
God blessed us with some sleep when we could. And when Megs wasn't barfing or having diarrhea, he was smiling or sleeping.
I counted down each hour and could feel myself getting smellier and smellier.
If I started thinking about Cale and Tim and how we were getting closer, my stomach would act up again (it had settled some after some sleep). I focused on where we were and what task was at hand...but I wanted Tim to bring some pedialyte, more clothes for me and the kind of bottles Megs liked. I sent him probably like 12 texts from the air, but none went through.
Reading them back through, they sounded like I was a hysterical mess....
Good thing they DIDN'T go through.
Anyway, throughout the ride, Mom and I chatted a bit, but for the most part, our eyes were closed in sleep...or at least in the attempt for sleep.
The meals they served on the plane were correct with the time in Ethiopia...but it was REALLY bizarre to be fed beef & noodles when it was only 6am Eastern time and the sun was rising.
I passed on the first 2 meals on the plane, asking only for crackers...but by morning time, my stomach was so empty that I thought I might try something more solid....I think I did try that beef. Only a few peices...and it stayed down!
Well...................after all that (and more), we landed.
PRAISE THE LORD!!
We were ushered off the plane (after all the first class and Cloud 9 people, of course) into a shuttle bus. EVERYONE had to get on that shuttle, and it was hot.
Hot, and stinky.
Megs pooed on another outfit when we were landing, but we had none left, so I wrapped him in the dirty outfit, and an airplane blanket. We sat on that shuttle for over 20 minutes.
I was very concerned with Megs. He was feeling really sweaty, and I couldn't imagine how much longer we'd have to wait until we could change his diaper.
After what seemed like WAY TOO LONG, the doors to the shuttle opened. We were taken off that shuttle and asked to get on another.
People were WAY grumpy, talking about how they're gonna miss their connections, and how this is crazy, etc, etc.
I told Mom we should hang back and used the bench seating on the 1st shuttle to change Megs. Culturally acceptable or not...this kid needed to be cleaned up.
I snapped his outfit shut and strapped him in the ERGO. We were both so dirty, how much worse could it be............. (just wait...)
Luckily, because we were last to get on the new shuttle, we were first to get off of it!
We were the first in the immigration line!
The man that passed us through was pretty dang grumpy.
"Oh gee...adoption Saturday is today?" he said.
WHOA! What an nice guy.
He explained how the Friday night and Saturday night flights were packed with adoptive families and that it made the morning too busy.
Suck it up man!

Mom chatted with him as he went through our paperwork. I felt Megersa's head. It was clammy. He looked as though he was trying to fall asleep (the way he kept rubbing his head against my chest)...but he was restless. Mom thought he must just be too hot from being in the ERGO and all the excitment, but I was hesistant to believe that was the only reason.

We passed through the line without a hitch and then entered International baggage claim. We searched through the bags on the conveyor belt and the ones already pulled off...but our bags were not there. A man told us that these were the bags for people with connecting flights and that our bags would come out after, on another conveyor belt.

We stationed ourselves by the bag entry of the new belt, and Megs started coughing...then gagging, then vomiting. In the ERGO, facing me. I was afraid he would choke, so I quickly pulled him out of it and faced him forward so that the rest could land on the floor. This all happened frantically, but not ONE person looked my way. No one offered help (even if they didn't mean it)...nothing. It was like the twighlight zone.

I suppose most people couldn't be bothered by anyone else and were just glad to finally be off the plane, but still..............

Our bags hadn't come out yet, so I couldn't change Megersa or myself.

I went over to the side of the room and stripped off his clothes and tried my best to clean him up with some wipes I asked another adoptive mom for because I was out. I tried as best I could to wipe off my shirt. Finally, we saw our bags!! YAY!! Mom got them on our cart and I got them off just as quickly so I could rummage through them and get us some clean clothes. Well...Megersa's outfit was clean. I brought a ton for him...but I had to put on the outfit I wore the day before...which wasn't clean, but at least it wasn't puked on!

So I changed in the bathroom,f we and we packed away the pukey stuff and put it on the cart.

One LAST line to get in.

I could hardly stand waiting one more second. I knew that Cale and Tim were on the other side of the doors, but they felt like a world apart. I had been keeping in contact with Tim since we landed, and as soon as I heard Cale's voice...my stomach started back up with nervous excitement.

Cale kept asking "Mommy? Where are you?" And it was PAINFUL to be stuck going through line after line...I just wanted us to all be together already!

So, the security guard checked our passports, our tickets, our baby, then asked if we had a connecting flight. "No."

So, right through those double doors.

Mom had the cart, and I was holding Megs in my arms. I think I RAN through the doors.

When the opened automatically I saw Cale in Tim's arms. They were both waving at me and yelling "Mommy!!"

I stepped up the pace and ran round the corner to them....thrust Megersa in Tim's arms and gave him a kiss.

I was able to capture the glimpse of Tim meeting his son for the first time and it was sweet. Tim was as forgetful as I was at how small babies ACTUALLY can be!Then I scooped up Cale! I think I kissed him a million times telling him "Mommy MISSED you!" "Mommy LOVES you!!" It felt surreal for us all to be together.

I bawled like a baby as I looked in his face and squeezed his body.

How much had he grown in a week? He was talking to me! He knew I was his Mommy!

We were all together. A family of four...FINALLY!

I saw Tim's mom and noticed she was crying too. The time was so intimate that I felt bad leaving her out...but she was able to enjoy our reunion.

No pictures or video from it. No one else came to the airport, which was fine. Not EVERYTHING needs to be public, ya know?

But, as Cale and I walked hand in hand toward our car and he told me about his week and the new things he learned....I thought back over to the verses that God showed me at the beginning of my week in Ethiopia:

Psalm 108:1 - ¹O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise, even with my glory. ³I will praise thee, O LORD, among the people: and I will sing praises unto thee among the nations. ⁴For thy mercy is great above the heavens: and thy truth reacheth unto the clouds. ⁵Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens: and thy glory above all the earth.

Different translations may have slightly different wording on that beginning verse, but I like the King James.

Perhaps David is talking about something else entirely when he was "my heart is fixed" but the first day that I met Megersa and I was able to hold him in my arms, and I knew that shortly our family would be together - this verse rang true for me.

My heart is fixed, Lord - and I will give praise!

God has taught me so much through this journey and truthfully, now is only the beginning. As we transition to a family of 4, the Lord has been opening my eyes to new things. This entire process was orchestrated by him and FOR Him. I am thankful that we were and are able to experience it.

THE TRIP - Day 4, 5a

2010-03-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

Okay...I want to start off by saying that Megersa has been home for 1 week!
I can't believe it's been so long already! He's fit into our family like a jello mold made specifically for him. He's doing EXCELLENT. He's eating like a champ, attaching to me really well...enjoying his brother and Daddy and sleeping better each night!
He's a gift from God, for sure. Thank you Jesus for his precious boy.
Thank you for teaching us to reach out to you and follow your lead in life.

And now to the trip. Thursday, March 11, 2010, Ethiopia.
On Thursday we woke up and got showered, then decided to go downstairs to eat some breakfast at the Kings Hotel. If you're reading this and you're planning on staying there...I'd recommend skipping breakfast. And that's quite a statement to make considering it's part of the hotel fee. It was GROSSE!
Food that was suppose to be cold, was warm. Food that was suppose to be hot, was cold. It was nasty. I won't waste the rest of my time going into it. Yuck.
So...after breakfast (which I got, but didn't eat), we walked to Layla. We stopped at Kaldi's again so I could get a mocha frappuchino. It wasn't the same as Amanda's, but it was still good!
When we got to Layla, I was so happy to see my boy was up and had LOTS of smiles for me! I picked him up and noticed he was soaking wet. I changed his clothes and strapped him into the ERGO. He, of course, fell asleep minutes after I strapped him in, so I decided to walk around with him, taking more pictures until we could meet up with Amanda. She told us about her night with Tsehaye and I was so happy they were making such great progress! We decided to go to the Ritmo early that day. We walked over there and hung out. I'm pretty sure that we just ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (that they had at the Ritmo for free) for lunch. I planned to give Megersa a bath, but they still didn't have water. Oh well. We just hung out. We were thinking of watching a movie...but the electricity was also out. Oh well. I wish I had written down specifics of that day, but I dont think there were many. I know that we just spent time together and for dinner we called Jemal to get a pizza from the Hilton hotel. We split the cost with Amanda and Joe (the other adoptive Dad that was at the Ritmo) and had an Ethiopian style American pizza. NOT at all what you would eat here, but still, it looked like home. Thursday was when I noticed 2 things. Megersa was staring to play with my hair/earrings when I gave him a bottle (which I took as a GREAT sign!)...but also that Megersa really wasn't taking much of the bottle. It seemed like he barely drank anything and had VERY few wet diapers. All I was changing was diarrhea. And it was A LOT! I seemed concerned about it...but I didn't know how much they really fed him before. I think on his chart it said something about 3 - 6oz bottles, but by the time we returned to Layla to drop him off, I think all he had taken for me was 11 oz or something like that.
I was certainly concerned for that, the diarrhea and the lack of wet diapers.
When I dropped him off that night I was sad. I had used the last diaper I brought so he was dirty and the clothes I changed him from were dirty, so I left him in the outfit I brought for him (if you're going there but staying at a hotel...I'd suggest keeping the outfit your child had on in the morning, and putting it back on at night - you won't see the outfit you brought again).
Anyway, when I walked into his baby room, ALL the babies were upset. Most were crying and I could tell the nannies were overwhelmed. I mentioned to him that he was dirty, they nodded and then motioned for me to put him on the floor.
It didn't feel right. I scooped him back up and told them I'd be right back.
I told Mom how I was feeling and we were lucky enough to be able to catch the nurse as she was walking around. I explained to her that he wasn't really drinking much for me, didn't have many wet diapers and that he had diarrhea. As best I could tell she understood and then she said something to me. It took both Mom and I several minutes for us to understand that she said "isolation."
HUH?
We followed her to Megersa's old baby room where 5 other babies were. They weren't the tiny babies that are normally in the room. She said that they all had diarrhea. 2 of the babies in there were from Megersa's room. Perhaps with the cloth diapers that were being washed out by hand...this germ had been passed.
When I dropped him off he looked alright, but I felt super sad.
I walked back out into the room where we decided to wait for our taxi. We still had 15 minutes before the driver got there. Mom asked me if I wanted to pick up any of the babies for a little while and I said that if I was gonna hold anyone, it'd be Megersa. So she told me to go get him.
When I walked back in the room he was crying. I scooped him up and talked to the nurse again. She saw me trying to feed him again and then told me that he didn't like the bottle I had brought.
I brought the Playtex drop-ins for easy clean-up. With no access to clean water, I thought these would be best...but the nurse said that the babies don't drink well from any other type of bottle than the standard ones they have there. She gave me one of their bottles to use, and also said that she'd give him some pedialyte to make sure he wasn't dehydrated.
That made me feel better, but the concern for him put me in a huge funk.
Our plan was to go see the traditional Ethiopian dancing and eat the food...meet Anna at 8pm, but I didn't feel like going.
Mom coaxed me into it, and I realized that it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, and I owed it to Megersa to experience his culture.
I'm glad I went. We really enjoyed watching the dancing and it was fun to hang out with Anna and her roommate Eden (pronounced Ay-den). I even ate the food!!
I enjoyed the hand washing ceremony and how they layed out the food...it was very neat.
I didn't really enjoy later on that night. I got sick. Not sure if it was from Megersa or from the food...but it wasn't any good. And, if you'd believe this - Immodium AD was the ONLY drug I needed that I didn't bring. Luckily I was able to sleep that night, after carefully going through my belongings and trying to pack what was dirty, what was clean, what was needed for my carry-on for the plane, for the diaper bag that day, and extra stuff to replenish the bag for the night.

Okay, let's try and get as much done of Friday as possible.
Woke up early to get finished packing, then went downstairs to meet our driver to pick us up. Mom checked us out and I know she paid more than we should have. Since we moved from a "suite" room to a standard room with 2 beds, it should have been more around 50 US than 60...but I guess Mom paid the full amount (though I specifically told her NOT to be taken for a ride!! :)...oh well. She also asked what she should pay the "porter" (which is the guy who carries luggage up and down - in case you didn't know! :) and the ladies who cleaned the room.
Needless to say, I was cleaned out after paying for that! LOL!
BUT...we did enjoy our stay there for the most part.
Mom went downstairs for breakfast which I SKIPPED! I still was feeling very yucky and I didn't want to repeat the breakfast experience there.
We went to Layla and when I walked into Megersa's room I saw one of the nannies pick him up. He looked at me with snot covered all over his face and cried. I like to think he was crying because he wanted me, so I'll leave it at that!
He did perk up when I held him close, cleaned off his face and arms, and changed his clothes. I strapped him in, despite feeling ill myself and we began our day. We had much planned for our last day.
Luckily I was able to get my hands on some liquid anti-diarrheal for me. It worked a little bit and I was able to withstand our shopping trip. In the car, as we drove around, we took many scenery shots. It'd be hard to really remember ET without them.
We were going to the places we found out we were able to bring our children. We got a taxi driver to take us to a basket weaving shop (though you aren't allowed to take your children there - I stayed in the car), the leprocacy hospital gift shop - where I got some BEAUTIFUL blankets, and a table runner...and then to the silk factory called Sab....sab something.
See...it's getting too far away from the trip to remember! Ugh!
Well, it WAS beautiful there with wonderful flowers and green leafy trees, but the prices on the scarfs and necklaces were WAY out of our range. My money was dwindling and I was ready to head back. We decided to stop outside the Caribou restaurant to order take out.
This...took forever. Megersa finally woke up (after almost 3 hours alseep in the ERGO) and we hung out in the taxi.
Why? Well, I guess it's not 'cultural' to take children out in public, and with the 'taboos' of American families coming to take away Ethiopian children, our agency advices us to keep a low profile from public places. The above mentioned places are very touristy and are enclosed compounds...so they're okay.
In ET fast food isn't really fast. We waited in the car for what seemed like FOREVER. My stomach was still hurting so I only ordered soup (which I didn't eat) and it was HOT.
I guess I've failed so far to mention how darn hot it is in ET. This of course, comes from someone who always seems hot...so weather in the upper 70s was hard to take with a warm body strapped to you...and having the runs. (there, I said it!)
Amanda and Mom finally came out with their food, and we went back to the Ritmo.
I ate some of Amanda's french fries and passed on the soup. I think someone else ate it. The other adoptive family, Joe & Lisa came back from swimming at the Hilton with their kids hungry...so they helped us eat our food.
I think this was around 2p or so, ET time.
The goodbye party at Layla was scheduled for 3pm. Mom walked over to take some pictures. I got on the internet at the Ritmo and it felt SO good to update Tim on what was going on. I was starting to feel homesick.
I walked over with Amanda to see the ceremony.
We got there early and I took Megs to his old room to tell his nannies goodbye. They said, Megersa...America? I said "Yes...today." Then I snapped pictures with all the nannies that were there.
They were so sweet to get him to smile and love on him for the last time.
This seemed surreal to me.
I was taking him from the only faces he could remember.
He was still sick. I was sick. And I knew an 18 hour plane ride awaited me.
Despite all that was going on in my head and both of our stomachs...he remained the sweetest baby you could imagine.

THE TRIP - Day 3

2010-03-19T05:48:00.000-07:00

Okay, this might be a bit tricky. Not just physically as I try to juggle holding Megersa, feeding him a bottle while typing...but because it seems as though it was forever ago that Ethiopia happened.
Actually, sometimes it feels like yesterday, sometimes, like forever ago.
But, I'll try to recap things perfectly:

So, we're headed out shopping. We had our lunch at Kaldi's right?
Okay. We all piled in the small taxi car and Anna led the way (by telling the driver where to go). Our first stop: a nice shop, located in a nicer area. Anna said that the prices were more than the other places, but they were fixed. No haggling.
The shop was filled with many beautiful things. All kinds of scarfs, blankets, pillows, clothing, wood things...I mean, great looking stuff!
I bought a pretty green scarf (though to be completely honest, I wish I hadn't paid that price because where we went next, we could get things WAY WAY cheaper) for 170 birr...about $15. Mom got a scarf there too I think, but no one else got anything. A bit pricey.
We went next to Churchill St. Now HERE is where you get the bargains...and haggle.
Thank goodness Anna knows Amharic (for the most part) and could try and haggle for us. She did tell us they didn't budge as much for her as they would for an Ethiopian, but she was able to help us out a bit. Without her help though, things were still dirt cheap.
Lets see if I can remember all the things I purchased on Churchill St:
1 colorful scarf (60 birr)
1 Ethiopian hat (60 birr)
2 traditional Ethiopian outfits - for Cale & Megs (70 birr each)
1 traditional Ethiopian shirt - for Tim (70 birr)
2 hand woven/crafted animal toys for Megersa (25 birr each)
1 necklace (40 birr)
1 purse with small matching scarf (80 birr)
1 hand drum toy - for Cale (20 birr)
1 beaded bracelet (10 birr)

Gosh, I THINK that's it! We brought in some good loot! It was a little crazy with everyone trying to get us to purchase things. We'd buy something, and then they'd guessture for us to go into the back where they had other things. It was hard to say "no" but we had to! What was ALSO hard was trying to conceal the big wad of birr we had... It was also hard to avoid the beggars.
I mean, I know there are beggars everywhere, but it still pains me to see them.
We walked up and down the streets and went in countless amount of 'shops' - but we weren't done yet!
I felt tired and ready to see Megersa again, but when would we get this experience again?? Probably never (or until we adopt again).
Anna took us to where she works. She works with women who are HIV positive...and instead of them leading destitute lives...they make and sell jewelry. It's WAY cheap, and REALLY beautiful. I think their speciality is making jewelry with coffee beans as the accessory because I saw tons of bracelets and necklaces (even earrings) with coffee beans as the beads. A cool idea, but not exactly my taste. I was TOTALLY digging the beaded necklaces and earings. I bought 2 necklaces there for 70 birr each and then 2 pairs of earrings (30 birr each).
Her shop was REALLY neat. With each item purchased, they would attach a "card" with the person who made it and how old they were...a little bit about their story. It was such an awesome thing to see. The Lord is really blessing this ministry!
After her jewelry shop, we were done shopping. It seemed as though we were out of money (though I did have quite a bit left), and Amanda and I were itching to get our hands back on our kids!
When we came back to Layla (treasures in hand) I walked into the baby room, and the nannies informed me that Megersa was sleeping. I picked him up anyway.
I figured I didn't care, and would just hold him while he slept.
But he woke up. I went out into the little "lobby" area, and started to get a bottle ready...but one of the nannies came out with a bowl/spoon/bib in hand and said "Megersa? Snack!" He looked at the nanny and grinned. I could tell he recognizes most of them and is oh, so generous with his smiles!
She handed me the stuff and walked back into the room.
When I looked into the bowl I saw what looked like crackers - graham crackers (or a variation of it) crushed up in water. I thought...wait? Is this the "cerelac" they are talking about? Cookies?
I couldn't imagine that he was eating cookies as his other form of nourishment...and that he was eating from a thin metal adult spoon. But he did.
Not a lot. He didn't seem to really want it.
Mom went in to the baby room and asked if there was anyone who needed feeding.
They handed her Minalush and a bowl, spoon and bib.
Minalush did NOT want to eat for my MIL....or maybe just in general. She's a skinny little thing too...and she just took one bite, but wouldn't swallow it.
Mom waited for awhile and tried to coax her into taking another bite, but she didn't. When one of the nannies came out, Mom tried to explain to her that she didn't seem hungry; but the nannies motioned for her to keep shoveling it in. They said something to Minalush in Amharic and it got a smile out of her - then they took the spoon, and gave her more while her mouth was open. Maybe she just recognized the nanny...because I'm not sure if she ate more for mom.
Megersa ate probably half of it, and then I decided to give him a bottle. He was fine after that.
It was nearing dinner time, and we decided that we'd walk back to the Ritmo with Amanda and Tsehaye. We were told by the group of volunteers at Layla (who were staying at Ritmo) that they had extra lasangna made and we were welcome to join them.
So, I strapped Megs in the carrier, and we went to the guest house.
It's really nice there. Very homey. The walk there is 1/2 on pavement, and 1/2 gravel (which is a bit tricky when you've got bags, you're wearing flip flops, and you're carrying a baby on your chest). We got to see Amanda's room, and I looked around the compound a bit. It's enclosed by gate and guarded 24/7, which is very nice.
Why didn't we opt to stay there? Well, several reasons:
I wanted to be able to sleep. It's a sweet place there, but it is kinda loud with all of the people and excitement there. Amanda said she can hear the "call to prayer" at 5am. There are rolling power outages there which wouldn't allow me to use my fan at night.
The bonus would have been to have Megersa with me...but then we wouldn't have been able to go out at night.
Secondly, I wanted a SHOWER! 3 days in a row they didn't have hot water - or much running water at all. They were collecting some cold water to be able to flush down poop...but even then, the bathrooms were getting pretty dang nasty with all the pee. Oh, and you're not allowed to flush the toilet paper there. I think it's kinda icky, though I understand that people dont really use toilet paper in 3rd world countries, so the plumbing system can't handle it.
It WAS great to visit though.
The lasangna was okay. The food there is of course, not what we are used to, but it was nice to have "home cook" style dinner. We stayed and chatted with the high school volunteers (Susan PD brought a group of teenagers who were volunteering for a week) and the other adoptive family that was there.
When it was time to leave, we packed everyone back up, and went back to the Ritmo.
Amanda intended to let Tsehaye stay at the Ritmo, but T didn't want to stay. That was a HUGE step in the right direction for them!! Yay!
We dropped of Megersa, then walked back to the King's Hotel.
Tim called that night and I was telling him what we bought and where we went...but he cut me off and said "I dont care about that, how is Megersa?" I guess I would have been mad, but I WAS totally rambling on!! :)
Wednesday night was PACKED with excitement, so it was very easy to swallow 2 tylenol pm, and a melatonin, and head to bed.
I slept great.

THE TRIP - Day 2-3

2010-03-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

Man, SO much has been happening the past few days now that we're home, I gotta haul hiney here to finish up about the trip:

8pm Wed, ET time, 3/10/10
It's been really long since I journaled!
Here is what's been going on -
After getting off the plane we went to the visa line. We were probably one of the 7 people in line (the last ones, but still!). Took about 20-30 minutes to get through. Not bad at all! Then we went to immigration and got our ET stamps (yay!). Didn't take long either! Then a guy volunteered to grab our bags for us. So "mom" said it was okay. We exchaged our money to birr. 13.36 birr to 1 US dollar. We exchanged about $600 - which was A LOT of birr! I guess the guy saw us with the gignatic amount of money we had and he expected more than the 20 birr we gave him as a tip. This is what we were told to tip though.
I mean, yeah, that's cheap - but all he did was take our bags from the coveyer belt to the cart! I didn't want to get a guy; I would have done it myself. Oh well. Anyway, he put up a stink about it and I didn't care. I just ignored him, but Mom kept saying "No, this is what we were told to give." THEN she asked another lady! :) haha. This ET lady said "Yes, it's fine. - 5 birr per bag."
HA!
She even said he should have brought our bags to the xray (which he didn't). We waited in that line for awhile, because our donation tub had zip ties, and it took FOREVER for someone to come over and cut through the zip ties & "ok" them. We waited with another AAI couple (Joe & Lisa) adopting 4 1/2 year old boy/girl twins...they also had donations with zip ties. When someone finally came over to cut through them, the men asked Lisa what the pads were. I thought it was very funny and told her she should demonstrate them! :) haha.
Anyway, after we got through Xray, we met the AAI driver, Jemal. He said he'd take us all, but as we walked to the parking lot, he said his car was small & couldn't fit us all. Joe & Lisa went to Ritmo with another man & Mom and I went in another taxi with Jemal to the King's Hotel. It cost 100 birr to ride there.
The Kings Hotel is basic. They initially put us in a suite room, but it only had one bed, so I said, "No, sorry...we asked for 2 beds."
Now we have a smaller, less fancy room, but it gets the job done. A hot shower. 2 beds that are surprisiginly comfy. A toilet, big towels and it's generally quiet. The window in the bathroom stays open (it's their ventilation system here)...so at night it does get cooler, but def not bad. The windows & curtains are sheer, so we change in the bathroom.
The TV's broken & you can hear the cars going by, beeping at each other, but my convertor works, so the fan gets to stay on ALL night!!
When we got in and somewhat unpacked, we decided we'd take a 2 hour nap...and then shower, THEN go to layla to meet Megersa.
At first, even though I was dead tired, I couldn't relax my mind or drown out the outside noise (which is MUCH louder during the day) but I kept praying & I did eventually fall asleep.
I probably slept 1-1 1/2 hours. Then we showered and got a taxi to Layla. We were both feeling loopy and we were tired from dragging around that dumb tub, so we decided we'd haul it there and leave it.
As soon as we walked in Layla, we were met by Jessica (Gail's assistant who works for AAI) and she said, "Hi! Are you Megersa's mommy? Are you ready to meet him?"
WHOA!
I quickly saw Amanda Cadman and gave her a hug, then handed her the video camera. Mom got the camera and followed me in. Jessica went over, grabbed Megersa (who was belly down on the floor with his buddies)...then said "Megersa - Here is your mommy!" She handed him to me, and honestly - I was prepared for him to not make eye contact or arch his back or something, but I got a smile out of him, THEN he just nuzzeld into me. BLISS.
I REALLY couldn't have dreamed of it going so smoothly! He is a beautiful baby. I got so many smiles and giggles out of him in the next few hours. He seemed totally content to be with me! I changed his clothes (The size 3-6 clothes that I put on his are still a little big and the size 2 diapers are tightened as far as they will go - he's a SKINNY, long baby!)
I went around with my camera (and him) to take pics of all the other babies. The nannies are SO sweet. They kept asking me "Megersa's mommy?" and then they wanted to grab him to get a picture with him. I could tell they really love all the babies. I fed him a bottle, and just walked around with him, inside and outside.
Ivy gave us a tour of the compound and Megs fell asleep in my arms. I forgot my ERGO (if you can believe that!) and had to hold him, but it was soooo sweet!
After about 30 minutes I switched with Mom and she held him until he woke up.
By the way, the nannies think it's great that she's the grandma.
He took more bottle and then we played a little more, but it was about 6:45p, so we left. We were meeting Anna Faulker - a Cedarville grad that live in ET - at Kaldis (ET starbucks that also has some American style food) for dinner.
Amanda came too. She's GREAT! I ordered some sort of chicken club salad (which it wasn't...so I didn't eat it) and fries (yum!) and a chocolate milkshake. Double yum!
It was good to meet Anna and she said she'd love to take us shopping on Wednesday after lunch!
Leaving Megs wasn't as hard as I thought. That sounds bad, but he's still getting used to me, so I want the transition to be as smooth as possible. And, I want to experience ET while I'm here.
He watched me leave, and I looked at him to see if he was upset, but he wasn't. He knows his crib. He's familiar with the sounds, sights and smells of his room, and his world will be rocked soon enough...so I didn't mind.
He will sleep well and see me the next day.
I was totally okay with it...plus it was fun going out with the girls at night.
The walk to and from the King's Hotel takes about 15 minutes...some of it is uphill and that's not fun with a giant diaper bag and shopping stuff, but it's good for me. At night it makes me more nervous. But that's my nature.
When I can't understand the language, it puts me even more "on guard" - but the Lord has been SO good to us. No sickness, not really feeling jet-lag, EXCELLENT, AMAZING, ADORABLE little boy; and safety.
When we got home, we putzed around waiting for Tim and Dad to call.
It was great to hear Tim's voice.
He was SO happy to hear about Megersa! We chatted for awhile and I felt good knowing he was keeping Cale busy. After that, I got my bed ready, took 2 tylenol PM, put the fan on, covered my face and fell asleep.
7 am, Thursday, March 11
Backtracking here to yesterday morning. Hopefully I can get caught up - there's just SO much to remember!
Okay, so our first night here - I slept okay. Woke up 2-3 times in the early night. Was feeling "awake" at about 2-3am, so I decided to take a melatonin. Slept AWESOME after. The alarm actually had to wake me up at 7 am. Decided to hit snooze and fell right back asleep for 15 more minutes.
But then we got up, and ready for Embassy.
Ivy was having a shuttle bus pick us up and another AAI couple who are staying here at 8:15am. Since I showered late yesterday afternoon, I didn't wash my hair again and to my surprise, the flat iron worked! (Surprised because the day before the blow dryer wouldn't.)
I decided even with that to pull my hair back in a ponytail and wear a headband. Cute! :) I sorta dressed up for Embassy - though it's not required.
It just FEELS like an important event.
We got ready and went downstairs at about 7:55a. We went into the Kings restaurant, but decided we didn't really have enough time for a sit-down breakfast. I ate a B-bar and a fruit roll anyway.
We were then greeted by the other AAI fam in the foyer and chatted about AAI.
Not long after, Susan PD came in (who is AWESOME, btw) and said "Okay, let's go!"
I was second-to-last out the door, but could spot Megersa on Ivy's lap right away.
I sat toward the back and grabbed him to sit with me. Once he was in my arms, he seemed sorta wiggly and restless. I put more hydrocortisone on his cheeks (he's got BAD eczema) - but when I touched his cheeks, he was opening his mouth, so I put a binky in and he fell asleep in seconds. THEY dressed him in a long-sleeved red onesie underneath a blue and pink polo with khacki pants and red socks.
I'm glad he looked like a boy!
The first day I met him, I had to laugh at the onesie he was wearing - "all american girl"...and was hoping that he would be dressed more gender appropriate for Embassy.
We drove over as he slept and when we got out, I put him in the ERGO (I remember he slept for another 10 minutes, but when he woke up he seemed content to just observe and was generally happy in the ERGO.)
I decided to get him out of it in the waiting room. There was a small area for toys for toddlers/young school-aged children and a bunch of chairs - it was very full!
He still seemed squirmy and I thought he might be hungry. I got the bottle out and as soon as he saw it, he started wimpering. Poor baby! I went as quickly as I could but he was starting to get impatient. Never cried, but looked so pitiful!
I had Mom hold him. I'm not great at bottles yet..not much experience - the bottle, the drop-in, the nipple, add the formula & water, shake, screw it on. not hard stuff, but torturous I'm sure to a hungry baby!
He was JAZZED after his bottle. Smily and cooing at the other Ethiopians. There were about 4-5 families from AAI and several from different agencies. We just waitied our turn as we chatted. I went to the bathroom, then came back and put him back in the ERGO (to get ready). We waited probably about 45 minutes overall before our turn. When they called us up (actually, Gail came and got us) we had to walk upstairs.
It was about as anti-climactic as you can imagine. There was another waiting room upstairs, but I was told to walk to the open window with Gail standing beside me.
The American women behind the glass was friendly enough, though I thought it was so bizarre to have the entire thing (except the very bottom) covered in thick-walled plastic. Like at a bank. What's with the security?
Hm. I could barely hear her questions. I can't reember them all, but something like this:
Are you the person on these forms? Yes.
Is this the child you were waiting for? Yes.
Is this the child that was referred to you? Yes.
What happened to the child's parents? He was abandonded.
Who found him? I said a police officer and social worker. But Gail corrected me saying it was an individual walking and a PO.
Is your husband here? No.
Have you met the child before or after you passed court? After.
Do you know this adoption is final? Yes.
You know you must re-adopt him according to your state laws? Yes.
And there may have been one or two other simple questions, but nothing intense. Easy peasy.
She told me we'd get his passport on Friday morning and Gail handed me a red file with all his doctors reports and other paper (haven't opened it yet). Then we walked back downstairs.
Megs seemed kinda stinky, so I changed his diaper (and his outfit) and then we played in the little play area.
He really enjoys rolling around - moving in general. I was surprised the first day I saw him that he likes to be "wrestled with" or tossed around - totally makes him giggle!
He's also very used to being on the floor, so it makes sense.
I think when I hold him a lot, he gets really wiggly and starts to shake his body (partly also because he lacks back/neck/leg strength).
Even still - he was as happy as a clam.
Probably about 15-20 minutes later we left with our group. I had Megersa in the ERGO and he fell asleep again in the car. He slept the whole ride, then about an hour after that when we arrived at Layla. I decided to take more pics of the babies and toddlers. They're always readily available for pics!
The toddlers kinda just play around all day and it's the cutest thing to see them all eating in their cloth high chairs - feet dangling! :)
On Tuesday I heard some little one in one of the baby rooms that was empty. It was filled with broken or unused cribs. I peeked in there and there were these little hands and feet on the floor, and a voice, kinda wimpering. I quickly went to one of the nannies and guestered for her to come to the room. She said "no babies in this room." I nodded my head, but still pointed for her to look. She seemed shocked as she saw the scared little toddler come out from behind the cribs!
Seemed as though she and the other nannies were asking questions (maybe pointing fingers, who knows! :) He's fine though.
Okay, so, I gave Megersa some more bottle when he woke up. He doesn't eat much. Maybe a couple oz at a time. He's a slow eater too - which is fine with me. I've been offering him a bottle a lot. I want him to know I am Mommy and can give him food and comfort.
We played a little then at about 1pm, I gave him to the nannies so we could go out shopping.
We were meeting up with Anna Faulker and Amanda Cadman. She was going to take us to some good places and help us haggle.
She was running late, so we walked to Kaldi's again and ate some quick lunch. This time I took no chances and ordered the french toast Anna had the night before. It looked good. I also had a chocolate shake again. Yum. Amanda got a carmel mocha frap which I fully intend to get before I leave on Friday!
After lunch, we went with Anna and her taxi driver to the shops.

And if you can believe...that's all I journaled by hand while in Ethiopia. I will try my best to remember the specific details from that point on!
Until tomorrow...Thanks for reading!

THE TRIP - Day 2, Part 1

2010-03-17T05:04:00.000-07:00

Because we lost 8 hours going to Addis, we're gonna skip right till Day 2.
We left on Monday morning, but after a 15 hour flight, we arrived Tuesday morning.

9:17am - Addis Ababa 3.9.10
Where did the night go? Well, we had about 3 1/2 hours of dark & qiet. I SHOULD have taken the sleeping pill. I probably fell asleep for 2 hours, or just under - but I bet if I had taken the drugs, I'd have slept much longer! Oh well. My stomach woke me up too. We just ate breakfast like an hour ago. I'd rate ET air food between a 4 and a 5 (out of 10) - not inedible, but not really good. At least it wasn't putrid! :)
Anyway, I thought i'd write some final thoughts about our 1st flight before we get off the plane (I believe we've begun the descent - touching down in 30 minutes or so.) I very much enjoyed the big tv screens that cycled through the current time in ET, ETA, time in the zome we were in (at that point) and then there was this cute little animated plane that showed where we started and relatively where we were - surrpounding countries and all).
The people were nice. Directly in from of us is another adoptive mother (different agency) who brought 4 friends. Nice & informative. The Ethiopian lady who sat behind us slept the entire way - or so it seemed. Probably 70% of the trip though. Good for her! She must have taken this trip before. Stewardess - nice. Bathrooms were messy most of the time, but not really smelly (so that's a pro).
Plane, comfty- but probably could have been brutal if it was full. The fact that the movies started all at once and were on different channels would have been good - if I was awake for the start of them. But I REALLY could have done without being woken up with a "fresh citrusy towel." I was trying to sleep and would have prefered not to be woken up to wash my face with an orange! :)
Overall though, it was way better than I had envisioned and I have to thank God (and all those who are praying) for safety and sanity on this long flight.
Looks like we probably won't make it for Meg's nap (ETA 9:42a) - It'll probably be 10 before we're off the plane and then we have to get the transit visa, go through immigration and get our bags...have them xrayed then take a shuttle to our hotel. Mentally we're preparing for at least 2 hours for that to happen. I think when we call Gail, we'll ask to meet her at Layla at 3 or so.
A nap in a bed and a shower sound divine to me!
"Mom" just reminded/informed me it was 1:40a our time. Lucky Tim is sleepibg. Jealous!! :)
Speakibg of him - he may have been right about me over-packing! I packed, but did not use these things from my carry on - (though it doesn't mean I won't in ET):
my book, my magazine, my snacks - and I brought a bunch (I only ate 1/2 box junior mints and chewed 2 peices of gum). Didn't use the money blet, PSP, DS, crossword puzzle book (though in my defnse I thought it was a word jumble) my extra shirt & undies (though I WOULD pack them again) - & the throw away heating pads.
Things I did use - earphones, deoterant, toothbrush & toothpaste, water, gum, & notebook! My hat (my hair is looking bad!) pillow from home, eyelash curler, hand sanitizer (the bathrooms were not equipt with them & some of them didn't have soap!), lotion, tissues and chapstick.
We MADE IT!BOLE airport, Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

THE TRIP - Day 1, Parts 2-4

2010-03-16T09:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, both boys are in their rooms. Megersa fell asleep in minutes, and Cale...well, he's still banging around up there - but sleep is coming. :)
I'll try my best to type fast, because I'm EXHAUSTED as well!
This middle-of-the-night baby jet lag stuff is for the birds.
Tim is at work, so if I dont nap while they do, I'm done for!

So, lets just dig into the journal:

3.8.10 4pm, Eastern Time
Got on the plane. Took off around 10:50am I think. The flight isn't too full, so hopefully we can spread out a little bit! I see many empty seats! We're both pretty tired from getting up so early, so we're gonna plan to try and sleep right away.
WOW - it's dark! I've been napping, or trying to for probably 2 hours. I'm not sure if I'm really getting any sleep, but I know I'm groggy. I was sitting in the 2 window seats initially, but my legs are so cramped, I switched with Tim's mom. She got a nap in the 3 middle seats - laying down. not sure if she was able to sleep in the 2 though. I can't imagine us being cramped in the 2 seats, side by side.
Thank you Jesus for the extra leg room!!
Looks like we're about 3 hours from our touch down in Rome. It's dark, dark, dark! Makes me want to keep sleeping or TRY to. But Nana and I are going to play some cards.

3.8.10 6pm, Eastern Time
Feeling it. Dreading the rest. JUST when I decided to lay back down, the lights came on - and stayed on. I tried to keep laying down, blanket on my face & all, but no dice. Then the carts came down. Too bad the food wasn't good. Some sort of tuna (with celery! :( and a 'stamp' of roast beef, then some waldorf salad - with celery.
No thanks! I asked for something else. RAW FISH! (okay, it wasn't raw, but the skin was still attached!!!!), and some fruit. So I ate the small fruit cup and passed on the rest. Supposedly after we take back off (after landing in rome) we'll have breakfast. I'm not really hungry, just thirsty for water. But if I continue drinking I'll pee for the, oh, 4-5th time! ha ha. It is me, so it's to be expected.
Oooh! THe lights went out again. Maybe I'll go to the bathroom, then try again to sleep. TRY! We are suppose to get to Rome in 2 hours. So ALMOST 1/2 done with the trip!!

3.8.10 8pm, Eastern time...I think.
Rome! We made it to Rome - safe and sound!
Haven't slept since I last wrote. "Nana" and I talked. Discussed Renee & Seth, Jon & Adele, us, them, David & Amber, etc. I had to yawn several time, but I think holding off and sleeping as close to arrival as possible will help. I'm debating taking a tylenol PM. I'm pretty hungry, so if I sleep through breakfast, I'll be really hungry - more worrisome still, If I take the sleeping pill and CANT sleep, I'll be "dead in the water!" UGH! What should I do, Tim? :) I miss TIm. I wish he were here with me. I also really miss my Cale, though I'm super glad he's not on this flight! 5 hours left though, which is great!
Initially I thought 7 hours, then subtracted to 6, but the voice "from above" :) said 5 hours, 10 minutes for this last flight! WAHOO!! I think once we get there, and get through customs & immigration, we'll decide on our plan of attack. ie: going directly to meet Megersa, or going to the hotel, to nap, shower and get ready - THEN spending the rest of the day at Layla. If we get there and he's napping, I'd hate for them to wake him only for him to be scared and grouchy. So, if it doesn't look like we'll make it to Wanna before 12 (which we probably wont) then we'll do the nap/shower thing. I AM an anxious mommy, but I'm not dumb. I can't fire on all cylinders when I'm exhausted. I've gone to the bathroom probably 5-6 times. Small bladder, yes - but at least it gets me to walk around!
Okay, I might take 2-3 advil instead of tylenol pm. Decision made.

TICKETS, PLEASE!Welcome!The cool TV screen that updated us every step of the trip!Our assigned seats.

THE TRIP - Day 1, part 1.

2010-03-15T11:59:00.000-07:00

Okay...I have some free time! Both boys are asleep...for now! Better make this quick. :)

Just to preface everything - I am in LOVE with my son. LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM!! Even when he's projectile vomiting on me! haha. I've journaled a bit while on the plane and in my down time at the hotel. I dated each entry, so I'll try to just type what I wrote.

Journal entry 1: 3-8-10, 9 am, Eastern time
On the plane. WAIT! Not yet. Wow, I'm tired! We're sitting at the gate waiting to board the plane. Our flight was delayed from 9:30a to 10:10a. Not TOO bad. Though waking up at 5 in the morning certainly was! I'm pretty dang tired already. I really hope I can sleep on the plane. Maybe 3 good naps will help me stay awake long enough to be functional. I can't believe I'll be holding my baby in less than 24 hours!
Packing is done. Thankfully. Last night I went to "jelly leg" mode for a short time. (When I get so nervous I can barely walk.) But I THINK I have the most important things, and if not, well...too bad. The bags are gone! Megs' bag weighed 42 lbs, mine, 31, donations, 29.5, Nan's 41 lbs. Fewf! My carry on weighs 11 lbs though it seems heavier. I'm not sure I'll use everything in it, but if I don't, I'll just sit there waiting for the time to pass, so I'll try and do stuff purposely when I'm not actively trying to sleep.
Waiting in line finally kicked in my "GO" drive. Just seeing all the BEAUTIFUL Ethiopians was like - whoa! We're going to Ethiopia, in AFRICA! To bring back my son!! Praying very hard the flight isn't brutal.
Tim's mom and I in line to check-in!
Weighing the bags.Sending the bags through Xray.After going through security!Our Gate.Up the escalator to the shuttle that takes us to Gate D.In the Shuttle!Our plane...waiting to get on it!!

Unexplanable.

2010-03-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

I ate the elbow of the bread today...or the heel, whatever it's called.
If you're my husband, or someone I grew up with then you'll know that this IS a weird statement for me to write.
I NEVER eat it. I actually dont think I've ever eaten it (unless I turn it facing in on my sandwich when there is absolutely NO other option, and it LOOKS like a normal sandwich). I think it's repulsive. It's all small, and curled in (and burns when you toast it). I save them for Tim to eat. If he doesn't eat them - I throw them out. I won't even make Cale eat it...because it's weird.

So, why did I do it?
I DON'T KNOW!
I also don't know why I feel LESS prepared to get Megersa then ever.
And I have no real reason to feel that way.
-Our house is unpacked. Completely. It took me 5 days.
((I'd say that's GOOD!))
-My bags are packed for ET. I need to check everything once more, and purchase either a fanny pack (it's funny just to write that!) or a money clip, and that'll be that.
-Megersa's room is totally done...set up, with clothes in his dresser, diapers out, with the appropriate baby creams, bibs, toys and bottles put away. I've washed down the exersaucer, bumbo, and the fabric for the bouncer, walker and car seat.
It's ALL ready!
-Tim's feeling great about his new job.
-Cale is adjusting well and can't wait until it's warm out so he can go swimming at the community pool.
-I've painted my nails, waxed my eyebrows, and even got a spray tan (I know, I KNOW...I'm ridiculous - but I HATE looking pasty in pictures! :)...but still, I dont feel prepared.
My mother-in-law is going to arrive tomorrow night, so I hope that'll kick-start my "GO" drive, but I'm not so sure.

Will this baby like me? Will he resent me for taking him from his country? Will I be able to juggle two children? Can I handle the logistics of flight and travel?

Where are my friends?? I feel sad.
I miss them.
When my really good friend Mandy moved from IL to CA; I was sad, she was sad, but I didn't know how she felt when she told me she was lonely...because I had our other mutual friends.
And now my friends still have each other, but I'm all alone.

I'm confident that I have some budding friendships here, and everyone at the church is SO nice and supportive, but for right now...I'll need to quote Cale again to say:
"Something's weird."
I hope this feeling changes soon.
Maybe I won't feel prepared until Megersa is put in my arms...and then the world will seem right...because then I will KNOW that this is real.

4 days?

2010-03-04T06:23:00.001-08:00

Did I read that right?
I'm leaving in 4 days? And since today has started, it's really only like 3 MORE days left here. I'm shocked.
Honestly.
I'd like to tell you all that it feels SO real right now, but I'm still not processing it! It's like I've had this baby in my heart for so long, that it's hard to fathom actually having him in my hands.
The other thing too is - that even though I'm about 95% packed (suitcase-wise), I still have to gather up the documents I need, and the monies I'll bring. That part seems scary to me.
I'm the type of person who loses things. And I'm not exaggerating. I recently lost my wedding ring (though thankfully I never got it soddered to my engagement ring, so I still have the diamond!)...
I went on a 13 hour bus trip once (IT WAS BRUTAL) with my cousin and sister after our car broke down while driving home from college, and lost my ticket. I put it in my pillow!
Who does that!!
I'm pretty sure when they asked me where it was I started crying (and when you're a cute college girl they'll give you more passes in life than then old hag I've become - haha!).
I've misplaced (and I can say that because I've always found it again) my debit card MANY times, and well, lets just say that I've finally decided to hammered a small nail in to the kitchen wall for my keys to hang off of.

So, can you understand the fuss about traveling oversees?
I'm not sure if I've mentioned that I've only traveled oversees twice. In 2003 I went on a Missions Trip to Kosovo. It was great - but because it was with the college, I dont remember having anything to worry about but my ticket and passport.
In 2007 after we got married, we went to St. Marteen. Well, I was married, so Tim took care of all that stuff.
I know, I know...I'm a child! :)
So, now I have to worry about bringing a BOATLOAD of cash (for the baby's visa, our hotel, food, and spending money), a form called the I864, I865, I600 and a power of attorney.
Not to mention the E-tickets, and perhaps an immunization record (which I don't posses, by the way!)....whoa! I'm getting a little bit nervous about all of that.
What's that? I'll be fine?
Oh thanks, but I'm still anxious about it.
My energy is running out. I have been going NON-STOP with this house, - I've unpacked all but 3 boxes myself (though Tim has been great about setting up curtain rods, putting together the desk, crib, and helping move the heavy stuff).
So I'd like to announce that as of today - every box is unpacked! All that's left is deciding which of Cale's toys will go in his room, which will go in the toybox on the main floor, and which will remain in the basement living room/guest room/play room. :)
This townhouse is 3 floors with a large set of stairs up to the bedrooms, so I've been walking up and down steps, all day, with boxes in hand for the past 4 days. My muscles are exhausted. And I'm finding that even with sleeping pills, my mind is going a mile-a-minute too!
There are a bunch of little things I want to get done too, just personal, beauty-grooming things, that I'm hoping won't take a back-seat to the rest of the madness that is going on. Those are the kinds of things that de-stress me, but they aren't completely necessary.
But I press on.
Though it might be crazy to try and accomplish EVERYTHING in these last few and next few days, I am very aware that I will most likely NOT accomplish things when I'm home from ET...so I'd like it to be done - NOW.
Well, with all that rambling, I need to get back to work....

ONE WEEK!!

2010-03-01T06:06:00.000-08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE I LEAVE IN ONE WEEK!!

I'm soooooo excited! I can hardly get myself together enough to wrap my head around it. In one week I'll be holding my son. It's MADNESS!
This house looks like a bomb exploded in it! We've got boxes everywhere...
I've been working like a crazy women these past few days trying to unpack as best I can, so I will be able to come home to a house that is not in shambles! (though I guess I may be running that risk leaving it to 2 boys while I'm gone...) ;)

There are so many things to do before I leave. Please pray I can think clearly, and accomplish what I need to!

I got some GREAT photos from a traveling family, and a wonderful update from someone volunteering at Wanna right now.
I'll start with the pictures:
(And again, please remember that I can't post them all because other babies are in them that may or may not have passed court...I'll stick soley to the photos of just Megersa.)Aren't they AWESOME!! :)

So those are some pictures, and now for the report I got from one of my friends in OAEG:

Hi Katie,
I am sorry that it has taken me this long to write to you about Megersa. I have been with him every day that I have been here but it is only now that I can write to you about what a remarkable baby he is. I am sorry that I don’t have answers to all of your specific questions at this time. I hope to have time soon to do an in-depth baby report about all the wonderful questions you wrote.
My days are so full here that I am lucky if I can get a chance to check in on all of our loved ones much less spend any real time playing and loving on them. I have had some parents with immediate and critical concerns that have taken a lot of day and brain-space so I haven’t been able to focus on all the little details that I would have liked to about Megersa.
Oh, Katie! He is so cute and with such a funny personality. He will giggle at the smallest thing and really make this chuckle like you wouldn’t believe. Louder than any of the other babies in his room. Last night he was sitting in the bumbo and I was on the floor beside Tariku. Megersa sneezed. I looked at him in surprise and jumped a little at the sound for dramatics. He gave me that shocked look that is in so many of the photos with his eyes wide. I let him see I was playing by starting to mimic his sneeze. I did a big “AHHH CHHOOO!” He just about fell out of his bumbo with laughter. I could do it again and again and the same response each time.
He is so attentive. I scooted his chair and Deratu’s chair and Tesfaye and Mintenoset so that they could see me and started in on a game of patty-cake with Tariku’s hands. When I would get to “roll them”, I would go around and roll each of their feet and hands. Megersa would watch me so carefully and would anticipate when it was his turn. He would just about squeal in delight at the thought of it being his turn. And then throw back his head and give me just the funniest full-gum view of his mouth as he giggled. So cute.
He seems to sleep very well and is asleep often times when I get there. Yesterday, when he woke up one of his nannies put a little engineer hat on his head. I propped Minty’s mirror in front of him so that he could see. He would raise his eyebrows and feet and hands and just sat like that, totally engaged, for a long time.
He has a little rash on his left cheek. I wonder if it is from drool while he sleeps or if it is from teething. Hard to say. It doesn’t seem to bother him in the slightest.
I am so looking forward to meeting you and your mother in law. The Kings Hotel is not far from here and when I pass it, I think of you coming and get excited. I wish for you a safe journey. Please let me know how I can help make it successful for your family. I am thrilled for both Megersa and yourself that the time is coming soon for him to go home to your loving and fun home.
Much love and good thoughts your way, Morgan

Reading that made me SO happy! I can't wait to experience this all first-hand! And so soon!! YAY!!

child departure report!

2010-02-24T11:53:00.000-08:00

Last night we got Megersa's departure report! This is the last bit of info we think we'll get before we leave to get him. :) Basically if you get it - you're getting close! AND WE ARE - 12 days and counting....
I've corrected the typos they had in it:
They had my name as Kathleen.
It was stated he was 4 months, though the birthdate was correct, so I changed it.
Where it says cereal, it previously said cerelac (that one took me a few minutes to figure out what they are talking about)...
and I'm seriously doubting (though I haven't corrected it) that Megersa is in 0-3 month clothing. The weight/height/hc is the same as it was a month ago, so my guess is that they didn't re-weigh him, etc...and even then, he was 13 1/2 lbs. I'm guessing he's in 6 month clothing. I'd rather bring him clothes a little too big, than too small.
But for the rest, here it is:

Name: Megersa
Family Name: Timothy and Kathryn Nester
Age: 5 months (Birthday: September 3, 2009)
Location: Layla House, came from Shashemene

Feeding Schedule:
Food the baby eats: Cereal
What the baby drinks: Kirkland Infant Formula
7am – cereal
10 am – formula (180 ml)
1 pm – formula
4 pm – formula
5 pm – cereal
Nap from 12:30-3:30p
We have switched to a personalized feeding schedule based on age and weight, rather than our previous set-time feeding schedule.

Clothing Sizes: 0-3 months (He is skinny/has a small frame, but he will need the next size up soon)
Observations/Concerns/Comments:
When placed on back, does he/she wave arms and kick legs? yes
Can he/she roll over? yes
When placed on stomach, can he/she use forearms as props to lift head and/or chest? yes
Can he/she sit with support? yes
Can he/she sit-up unaided? Not quite
Does he/she keep balance while bending forward to grasp a toy? no
Can he/she crawl? no
Can he/she grasp furniture to pull self up to standing position? no
Can he/she stand with support of adult? no
Can he/she walk? no
Is he/she babbling or beginning to speak? Just baby noises
Does he/she bring objects to his/her mouth? yes
When feeding, does he/she use hands to grasp cup or bottle? sometimes
Can he/she grasp toys? yes
Does he/she have an interest in particular types of toys? Toys with faces such as animals
Can he/she shake a rattle? yes
Can he/she pass an object from hand to hand? yes
Does he/she respond to his/her name? yes
Does he/she turn towards noises? yes
Can he/she track an object with his/her eyes? yes
What is his/her weight? 6.12 Kilo
What is his/her length? 65.5 cm
What is his/her head circumference? 43.5 cm
Does he/she play peek-a-boo? Not really

Observation: Megersa is a sweet baby. The first day I observed him, he was very quiet and tired. He had a bit of a cough, so I think that is why he was so mellow and a bit fussy. After a couple of days he seemed to warm up to me, and he became very responsive. He grabbed my hands and smiled when I sang with him. He really enjoys being held but does not cry when set back down. Truly, he is a good natured infant. Physically, Megersa is quite wobbly, and I think he lacks some strength. However, with time I’m sure he will become strong. I noticed that he had a bald spot on the back of his head. Still, he is very handsome. With his smiles and loving nature, he will make a great addition to the family.

Observation By: Chelsea Cunningham, Layla House Volunteer

So, that's it! I wish they attached a picture of him. I haven't seen a new one in over a month, but I will see him face-to-face soon enough!!

Eastern time

2010-02-23T10:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm in the Eastern time zone. For good. It was weird changing my phone this time (for those of you who don't know - you have to manually change your blackberry phone when entering a different time zone). Normally when I travel, I just leave it. It's only an hour difference, and I can do the math! :)
But, I'm back to Eastern time. I grew up in Eastern time, but spent the last 4 years in Central time. Tim's excited to "be back" but I could care less either way.

The last few days were a whirlwind of packing and saying goodbye.
When Cale was learning to repeat us, months back, he started saying "something's weird." Just out of he blue. I know he didn't know what he was saying, but he must have heard us say it at one point. Well, Sunday, when Tim woke me up for church, I looked at him and said "Something's weird." :) And it still feels weird.

Our church farewell party on Sunday night was sad. I'm going to really miss a lot of people. I didn't cry TOO much, but it was definitely hard watching people walk out the door of the church and wondering if I'll see them again. ((Thank goodness for FACEBOOK!!)) The teens took it extremely hard too. They REALLY love Tim. And why not? He's an AWESOME youth pastor and such fun to be around! I know I'm sad when I'm not with him...even for a few days!
We'll miss you Faith Baptist!

Yesterday Cale and I flew from Chicago to Wilkes-Barre.
We left the house at 11:30am and as Tim and Cale were waiting for me in the car - I didn't really get a chance to look around for the last time, I just grabbed my carry-ons, my coat & Cale's pillow, and just ran out the door...
Our house was by far my favorite place I've lived. Good memories, nice layout, good location, no parents, no landlords...etc.
But I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to it.
So, I will now: "Goodbye house!"
Goodbye gigantic master bedroom and bathroom with walk-in closet.
Goodbye favorite stool at the kitchen counter.
Goodbye playroom that helped de-clutter the house.
Goodbye trampoline.
And just so it's not too sappy - I also want to add:
Good riddins to the moles that made our yard look like a discusting mess.
Good riddins to the temperature difference downstairs vs upstairs.
Good riddins to the ugly painted cabinets.

Ah. I feel better now. :)
I'm anxious to get to our new place and try my best to unpack before I leave for ET!!
I can't believe it's only 13 days away!! Cale was an ANGEL on the flight yesterday.
If you know him, you'll know what a statment that is!
He's not a BAD kid on flights - just extrememly energetic...as is his usual behavior. He doesn't sleep, and has a hard time sitting still or using his 'inside' voice. BUT, someone must have been praying for me yesterday (THANKS BABE!), because I think our hour delay was JUST what we needed. I found the 'kid port' in the airport, filled with ALL KINDS of fun things for him to do. It was made by the Chicago Children's museum, and Cale had a blast! I took some great pictures too...I just wish I had my cord that connects to the computer. Oh well.
I think it wore him out, so he was perfectly content to sit on the airplane and watch his favorite movie. He was a dream. :) This guy sitting across from me kept saying how he was so jealous that Cale was such a well-behaved (almost) 3-year-old!
I usually pack my carry on full of things to entertain Cale with, and if there is room, I'll throw in a magazine for me. Well, he was so entertained by sample seat belt the steward gave him, and the snacks & his movie...that I didn't know what to do with myself. I actually flipped through my entire magazine, then decided to "rest my eyes!" :) How about that?

Okay, well, I'm here in PA until Friday afternoon. Kinda bored here during the day with my brothers in school and my Dad & step-mom at work. Plus, I'm without car and cell phone service...but hey, at least I have the internet!
I'm sure I'll be updating my blog more often with non-interesting ramblings such as this one. :) But, I promise I won't blog 2x in one day!
Until tomorrow.

Remember when...

2010-02-19T11:45:00.001-08:00

This is one of Cale's FAVORITE things to do these days...playing the "remember when" game. He has an EXCELLENT memory! Really, I'm so impressed!
The first time I think he started with the "remember when" stuff...was a few months ago. Tim, Cale & I went to Sam's Club for a family date. We walked around, got free samples, and then went to their little food court for pizza and hotdogs.
Cale was kneeling on those bench seats they have - very excited and moving around, when he fell off. He went straight back and crashed on the floor. He cried for a little while and said his arm hurt, but of course, he was alright after some snuggles.
At any rate, it had been months since the incident, and one day, out of the blue, Cale said to me "Mommy, 'member when we went to Sam's Club, and I fell down, and got an owie, and cried, and hurt my arm, and ate pizza?...'member that Mommy?"
I mean, WOW! I was so impressed...I'm surprised he didn't tell me what we were wearing, too!
Well, since then, he has been great at 'remembering' events. It's been fun.
So, to that end, I want to ask you:
Remember when I blogged about the card I sent to Megersa?
Well, at the end of last month, a traveling family open it for him. So, I thought I would post pictures of him looking at it!
((I can't post them ALL, because not all of the baby's have passed court - and well, you know the rules!)) But it was ADORABLE - all of the babies on the floor were diggin' it - the card got everyone's attention! Way to go, Mommy! :)
Here are some great ones of my boy, looking at his family:So, all in all...3 dollars WELL spent.
I know my last post was kinda 'heavy' so I thought this would totally be appropriate for now! I look forward to the next steps in life! They may be scary, but I wanted to share a verse a friend of mine shared with me:
"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Is 41:13
This is just what I needed today. :)

Homesick

2010-02-17T11:52:00.000-08:00

Can you be homesick for more than one thing at a time?
Can you be homesick for a home you haven't left...or a home you've never been?
Can you be homesick in the place of someone else? How about for someone you've never met? Can you be anticipate being homesick, and become homesick?

Well, I'm sure this is all debateable...but I'll bet you can guess what my answers to these questions are:
I say yes. One person can experience all these things.
And now that I'm living them, I can say that it's possible to feel all these things at the same time.

We are leaving IL in 5 days. We have not moved out yet. I haven't really had to say "goodbye" to any close friends yet...but I'm already homesick thinking about it.
I honestly can tell you that I didn't think it was going to happen. I've been SO focused on Megersa and the 'next step' in the process to bringing him home, that I hadn't noticed that time was zipping by...the clocks still work, and the calendar is correct, it's just that...I guess I haven't been paying attention.

I feel like I became a women in IL. Sure, that sounds silly. I moved to IL when I was 22...I had been married for a year...and I was a college student (somewhat ;) - that should classify me as an adult women, shouldn't it?
Well sure. Technically. But, I don't know.
I've experienced so many things in my life here.
Tim's first job - (and our first apartment that wasn't married student housing).
Becoming a Mom. Whoa...that one was HUGE! I think after you become a mom, you instantly grow up 10 years in maturity (or you should).
When you become a mom, it's like something "clicks!"
You realize that God has blessed you with life. One of His children is now in YOUR care, and you and your husband are the sole providers for them. That's a tremendous responsibility!!
I made a lot of long-standing friendships here.
You know, high school friends, even some college friends were good 'for a season' - in that time of life friends were the most important thing...and there are a few I still keep in regular contact with, but not really the character-building women I've grown to know and love here.
And I hadn't really thought of how things would affect others THROUGH Cale. Cale makes friends so easily. He wears his little heart on his sleeve, like his mommy. He's got some buddies here that I'm sure he'll ask about when we're in MD...but I hadn't contemplated people really missing him that much!
That sounds bad. Obviously people have said that they will miss us...but I mean, specific to Cale. I have a friend whose son is 3 weeks younger than Cale. Patty and I were pregnant together, and were due a day apart. Cale and Hogan have been playmates for almost 3 years...so when she said to me sadly, "Katie, I always thought our boys would grow up together..." it was heart-breaking.
Maybe I'm just noticing things now. Like the look in our Pastor's wife, Joni...(who has been an awesome example to me, and has been a surrogate Gramma to Cale) as she was playing with Cale, saying how much she'll miss him....
And our adoption process started here. It's so very hard to walk through this process without friends holding your hands...I've been so fortunate to have that. So telling them thanks for playing, but I can't share the prize, was hard. :( The ticking of the clock is a countdown to when I'll be homesick for IL.

But I'm kinda homesick for Maryland. I am excited about the opportunities, the close proximity to my family in PA, and the new friends I hope to make. I'm wanting it to feel like home, so that when I come home from Africa with Megersa, we will ALL be home. I just want to get there...and start settling in.

Can I be homesick for Cale, even though I haven't left him? I've only been away from him for 1 night, on 2 seperate occasions. And before you think I should "cut the apron strings" please note that I really haven't had much opportunity. Am I suppose to just leave for the sake of being gone?
That kid is the biggest part of my life right now...it'll definitely be hard to leave him for any extended amount of time.

And I'm homesick for Megersa. I have been since the first day I saw his picture. I want him to be with me so much...but I know I'm going to feel so badly as we leave on the airplane. We are ripping him from the only thing he knows. His country, his people. The sights, sounds, smells....this is a lot to take away from a baby.

Of course thinking about being homesick, makes you more homesick.
Honestly!
At camp, when kids would start to cry at night, I started thinking about them being homesick...and inevitably I would end up homesick too.
Tim said we should take things "One step at a time." I agree.
But this stairmaster is on HIGH!!
Can we re-set it?? :)

I'm so thankful that I have God to help me through all of this time of transition. I can lean on Him, and the awesome husband he gave me. I'm not sure why the wave that I've been staring now feels like it's suddenly crashing down on me...but I'm glad that I have a life preserver.
These verses have been swirling around in my head:
Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. - Eph 6:10
What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. - Psalm 56:3
Your love, O God, reaches to the Heavens...your faithfulness, stretches to the sky. Psalm 57:10

Details, details.

2010-02-12T21:25:00.001-08:00

We've decided to go with Ethiopian Air. It flies out of DC straight to Addis.
Emirates sounded really good and was recommended by many people. But I'm confident that EA will be fine too, as long as it stays in the sky!! :)
We don't have EVERYTHING set in stone yet - but here is our flight itinerary -

Going to ET:
We leave March 8th from DC at 9:30am.
Stop in Rome to refuel...but do not de-plane.
Arrive in Addis Ababa, 8:30am - March 9th.
Total travel time: 15 hrs.

Returning home:
We leave March 12th from Addis at 10:15pm.
Stop in Rome to refuel...
Arrive in Washington DC at 7:35am.
Total travel time: 17hrs, 20 min.

WHOA. Seeing it all mapped out there makes me anxious! Anxious excited...and anxious nervous....a little of both.
See, I do not travel well. And to explain myself, perhaps I need to defend myself. ;)
Traveling didn't occur very much in my family growing up. Almost my ENTIRE family - both sides of the family, grandparents, cousins, etc...lived within a 30 minute radius from each other.
I actually can remember DRIVING to Canada, and thinking that those 7 hours were the LONGEST hours of my life!!! Silly Katie.
This was before DVD players in the car...or Nintendo DS or IPODs or wireless internet, so you have to cut me SOME slack!

If you've read my previous posts...you'll know I'm a horrible sleeper. I am TOTALLY over-thinking the sleep thing right now.
But I want to be on the 'top of my game' when I meet Megersa!
I want to be there for him and not be grouchy because I'm so tired - and I AM GROUCHY when I am tired.....ask Tim.
Plus, I HATE to wake up early. Early for me is before 7:30am. Honestly.
What's that? You think "that's nothing!" - well, shut it....it's early for me! :)
Tim and I are not morning people.
Before we had kids, we'd stay up till 2 in the morning, and then sleep in till 11am.
Sigh.
If I listed the specific things that contributed to my "over-thinking" I'm sure it would only make me think about it more. I just have to FOCUS ON THE PRIZE!
The rest will work itself out. I will not fall over from exhaustion, but I won't be rested. I'll get through it! :)

Square Dancing

2010-02-10T18:27:00.001-08:00

I want to start off by saying that God's blessings REALLY are new every morning. These past few mornings, especially so....

Now, to the story:
*Square dancing is the one where everyone switches parnters, isn't it?
Let's pretend yes, so the title fits. :)

Tim is no longer going to ET. His father is not going to ET.
But, Tim's mother is going. And I AM GOING!!

Okay, so you might be thinking that all the previous posts have said that Tim was going, and how I was so okay with it, and how it was the best decision...etc.

And you're right. The decision for me to stay was based off these factors:
1. My biggest priority would be for one of us to stay with Cale. (I do not think he is ready for a huge move & his parents to leave him for a week.)
2. Tim had decided that he was too uneasy about letting me travel alone with just one other female. He said it was either the 2 of us go together, or I stay home. (And because of rule 1, I planned to stay.)
Tim's reasonings were good - he wanted to protect me. He felt like having a male there (whether it be him or his father) would put his mind at ease. But, he hasn't been in touch with traveling families. I explained to him that many women travel alone, or with other women. It was safe. I still understood and respected his protective side.

So, how did things change, you ask?
Well...I guess it all started when I got the email stating we could have traveled on Feb 24th. Though I think it was all IN LOVE :) - perhaps I went a bit overboard "being sad" and pestering Tim if there was ANY WAY we could get Megs at the end of Feb. He was feeling really upset by it all.

Now, before I finish up the decision-making part of this story, I'll have to tell you, that throughout this past year I have "checked-in" with Tim (oh, probably about a 100 times) as to whether or not he's changed his mind...and would let me travel with his mother. The answer was always the same - with me, or nope (and I went back to Cale needing to be with one of us). So...in case you are thinking that I'm a wishy-washy, spur-of-the-moment decision maker, please know I am not. NOT on the big stuff anyway.

I've watched probably a hundred episodes of 'A Baby Story' (mainly when I was pregnant with Cale), and I was always touched by the miracle of birth - no matter to who, or how it came about...BUT, I would really cry when I watched the episodes that were devoted to Adoption baby stories (they are few and far between though).
When I saw the mother waiting in the room for her baby she had waited SO long for - and then they hand them to her...I mean, who WOULDN'T cry?! It's so touching.

Anyway, I guess I've always pictured that moment after we started the process...and it'd be me, with our Ethiopian baby. Before we received his referral - and maybe before I fell TRULY in love with him, I thought I could persuade my mind that the moment would be just as magical when Tim came off the plane with him.
And, if things hadn't changed...I'm sure it would have been.
((You know, I had a C-section, and wasn't able to hold Cale right away, which would have been my first desire -but I couldn't touch him until I was all stitched up. Even still...the moment I DID get to hold him was still magic.))

So now that you know the desire I've had since the beginning of the process was rooted deep, I can tell you what transpired to really change Tim's mind.

The night that I read the email about Embassy dates, I layed awake thinking of the possible scenerios - was the time that it 'clicked.' A loop in the rule system...
If I couldn't go without a man...I COULD still go...AND have someone stay with Cale.
I'd just go with BOTH of Tim's parents, and he could stay home!
Truthfully, I'd prefer to go with just his mom, but it followed both rules, right?

I sorta made up my own mind (and if Tim is reading this, I'm sure he's nodding his head) that I would go. That was the NEW decision....
Note: I'm not some head-strong women. Generally my "new decisions" are based off of things that I feel pretty confident that Tim will eventually 'come around on'- ie: Megersa's name. :)

So I told Tim that I figured out a way to go. And that I wanted to go. I needed to go, and that I think I SHOULD go. :)
I told him I'd like him to seriously think it over.
And if we're being honest, I think that initially he said Yes because he wanted to 'silence' all talk of the Feb 24th Embassy date...AND that he was starting to think it'd be okay. :)
He told me I had to call his mom and ask if she still wanted to go. Then, not 5 minutes later he adds "and maybe you guys could go without Dad."
WHAT?? I was baffled!!
When Tim asked his father to accompany him months ago, his mom offered to go with as well...but because I feel strongly that I should be the first women Megersa attaches to, I kinda put the kibosh on that. I did feel bad though, because I know she wanted to go...
Soooooo, I called. But I kinda got mixed signals from her. Months back when I explained the reasons for me NOT going, she very nicely questioned my decisions (repeatedly so). Looking back, I think she might have been trying to play the devil's advocate (and perhaps this time as well) to make sure my decision was the RIGHT one...and I guess I see her point.

But, all in all - Megersa's my son...he's Tim's son. We get to decide how best to care for him, and even if it's a snap decision (which this isn't, as you can see), it's ours to make.

I got off the phone with her feeling very confused. Did she not want to go now? I guess I wouldn't go if she didn't want to. I was feeling pretty bummed.
But as I drove home from the gym, I called Tim and he said "My mom REALLY WANTS TO GO!"
"Huh?"
But then he told me the analogy that she gave him -
I guess when she was first 'asked' (whether it was by accident or not) she got her hopes up way high. - And I think this is really awesome...don't get me wrong! So when I told her gently that I'd like for me to be the first women he bonded with, she was disappointed. And now "she was like a dog, with a peice of raw meat dangling in front of her face" and she doesn't want us to take it away...her words.

That kinda convinced me. Because that is a vivid analogy! ha ha.
So, she told me that she'd ask "Dad" if he thought it'd be okay if we went just the 2 of us, and she'd get back to us. Tim said that if Dad thought it was okay for HIS wife to go with just another women, then he'd be okay with his wife doing the same.

So she asked Dad and his exact words were something to the effect of "yeah, I dont care if you go alone with Katie!" AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!
If you are me, you are imagining the MONTHS of torture Tim endured, and I put myself through, over this very decision - only have it come out the way I had originally dreamed! It's madness!! :)
But...that's what been happening over the past few days.
We've been square-dancing.

I do want to add that Tim said something super-intuitive, and super sweet recently with regards to this. See, I really do feel bad taking this away from him, and kept trying to "nudge" his feelings out of him on the topic. He told me that he was disappointed he won't be going, but he could tell that I am IN LOVE with Megersa in a way that he doesn't understand yet. He knows it means the world to me.
I love my husband!!

And since this story has gotten OVER-THE-TOP long, I will continue another day with our flight schedule, travel dates and our dilemma over where to stay.
Thanks for following along, and if you've made it this far...I'm impressed!

ps. Did you check out the ticker?? 1 month until our Embassy appointment! AHHH!!

Last Stop: Embassy!

2010-02-07T12:04:00.000-08:00

I still have a hard time believing I can write this...but:
WE HAVE OUR EMBASSY DATE SCHEDULED!! -
March 10th!
I can't believe I will be holding my baby in less than 5 weeks!!And even thought I thought I may not write this (because it still really bums me out) I will...for those of you still in the adoption process wanting to know how long things take. We were given the opportunity to travel for the Feb 24th appointment!
(So...all in all, from court to being embassy-ready would have been only 4 weeks!)

Here's the story:
It had been a little over a week after we passed court, so we were anticipating another week or so until we had any solid information. And because Tim's last 'working' Sunday is the 21st of Feb, he booked a moving truck for Monday the 22nd. I booked flights on the 22nd of Feb.
Flights - non-refundable, truck - changeable with fees attached.
Everything was running as expected, until we got an email on Friday with Megersa's birth certificate attached. I thought it would have taken longer! In my head I started fantasizing about going to get the baby earlier than March 24, or April 7...but still tried to keep my hopes in check.
I know I mentioned that I wrote to my agency director and she said we should find out our travel dates "soon."
Well, sure...soon COULD be a week, a few days...but surely not a few hours?! But it was!
NOT KIDDING here - I got this email at 2:02am on Saturday:

Hi Katie,
Gail informed me that she has already received your court decree from the court! Gail is stating that your documents would be ready in time for an interview on February 24th. This would mean arriving in Addis no later than the morning of Feb 23rd and departing as soon as Friday evening the 26th. Would your family be able to make travel arrangement for this date?
Alternately, your family could interview on March 10th (arriving by the morning of the 9th and departing as soon as the evening of the 12th). Please let me know which date your husband prefers.

WHAT??? I MEAN, WHAT????
I was shocked beyond belief. Of course I have to tell you that it was the middle of the night when I saw this message, and I COULD NOT sleep after that.
Why was I checking my mail in the middle of the night?
Good question.
See, I'll have to admit this ugly truth in order for you to understand: I am in love with my Blackberry.
There - I said it!! Seriously, when I got a scratch on it last Sunday, I wanted to cry! It's kinda ridiculous....
At any rate, I woke up at 3 am to the sound of Cale crying, so I went downstairs to comfort him, and as I came back upstairs, I noticed my blackberry blinking at me.
For those of you without blackberries - they 'blink' red when you have a new text, voicemail, email, missed call...etc.
Why did I NEED to check this in the middle of the night?
I don't know. It's a compulsion.
But, I did...and I saw an email from AAI. My heart stopped for a second. What could this be about? Was something wrong with Megersa?
NOPE! We had our travel dates!!!
Wow, what a rush!
I woke Tim up immediately to tell him the good news, but he told me that we could chat more about the dates when he was "awake."
How he fell right back asleep I can not tell you!
My mind was whirring! The wheels were turning. I was determined to SOMEHOW make the Feb embassy date work. ((You know, if it had - I would be holding my baby in 2 weeks))......................
As you can see from the new countdown 'ticker', there was no solution to be found.

But I spent the hours of 3am-6am thinking of every possible solution to moving and getting Megersa in the same week:
~I could fly out with both of Tim's parents (Tim REALLY wouldn't want me to travel with just another women - ie: my mom, or his mom...but if BOTH his parents went, that'd be okay, right?)
Ugh...I didn't get the shots...oh well, I could rush to get them, right? Sure, it'd be another $300+ and we'd lose that $300+ we spent on Tim getting shots.
Plus, I booked the flights to PA for Cale and I. I checked to see if I could get a refund - Nope. That'd be wasting almost $900. This was not the solution.
~Maybe Tim could still go, and I could handle all the moving? I could do it! I'd just need to: arrange people to help pack the truck...lose the money spent on my plane tickets, and drive, alone with Cale for 12 hours to MD, then arrange for people from our new church to help unpack the truck (all this while entertaining Cale without Tim). hm... - not likely.
~Maybe we could move earlier? We'd just pay the extra fee required to change dates on the rental truck. Oh, and ask our current church if that was okay...and skip out on the farewell party they're throwing us....then lose the money we spent on the tickets. - Doable, but kinda selfish. :(
~Could we move LATER?...losing the tickets...and not getting paid from either church (from our last paycheck here, until the first one there). Not feasible.
Though I thought through each scenario very carefully, I was STILL giving Tim the "puppy eyes" and telling him I was sad...
Unfortunately this went on for most of the morning, until the last "no dice" roll was cast - Tim called his parents (remember the plan was/is for Tim's dad to accompany him to ET to get Megs)...and both said that the week of Feb 24th would not have worked.
Humph. I kinda figured it wouldn't work out as soon as I saw the dates in the email, but what kind of Mother would I be if I didn't DESPERATELY want it to work out? I've been waiting to see and hold the baby God has given me for almost a year and a half!
Looking back, 2 weeks was like NOTHING to wait, but looking forward - 2 more weeks is an eternity! I'm still getting over it.

BUT...in all reality, March 10th is NOT that far away! It's sooner than we thought, and it'll give us time to settle in to our new place. It would have been extremely hard to get a new baby/move and unpack all at once...so this is the right decision.
I'm just so stinkin' excited!
We're at the last stop! It's all a dream, I think.
A dream coming true:

Drumroll please..........

2010-02-05T13:54:00.001-08:00

We just got an email with Megersa's birth certificate attached!!
Now I know his birthday - and I have to say, I'm so excited to finally know!
Have you noticed the new 'ticker'?? - My baby is 5 months, 2 days old today!
His birthday is Sept 3, 2009.At first when I looked at the paperwork, I saw that it said 03/09/09 - and I was BAFFLED....I couldn't fathom who would say that that baby was 11 months old!!!
I immediately called my friend Rachael, who reminded me so sweetly that in Ethiopia, they date things - day, month, year.
Oh yeah. Duh!! Ha ha.

Anyway, I'm so excited!!
Outside of the sheer joy of actually having a "date" this is super exciting because this means that out of the steps needed before travel...we're now on #3 out of 3!
I mentally thought through what it meant that we had a birth certificate, and I decided to send this email to our agency director:
Hi Merrily!
I just wanted to tell you that we got a copy of Megersa's birth
certificate (via email) from Linda.
We are so excited to finally know his assigned birthdate!

Could you tell me what is the next step before we get travel dates?

This was her response:
Susan helps the families with the next steps and she isn't in today. I think you should expect to get travel dates soon. Merrily

I mean, can you believe it? It's actually happening!! We're going to be bringing our baby home. All he needs now is a passport! :) WAHOO!!!

Okay...a few more pics for the road:Oh, and just for those of you who are time-line obsessed (as I was/still am) - it's been exactly 3 months since we got our referral...and a week and 2 days since we passed court. :)
And, if I may, I'd like to quote one of my Dad's favorite jokes:
Dad: "You know what they say when they cut the monkey's tail off?"
Me: "It won't be long now!"
(I realize now that this joke is a little dark, but hey, it was a childhood fav!)

The cat's out of the bag.

2010-02-04T11:41:00.000-08:00

No more secrecy. I can COMPLETELY wear my heart on my sleeve again. Phew!
In all seriousness, keeping in this secret has been hard on me.
It's bittersweet, but I'm happy to say that the Nester family is embracing a new chapter in our lives. And here it is:
WE'RE MOVING!...and not just down the street, or a city over, but to Maryland!
THIS MONTH!!!
Crazy, I know!
Tim just accepted the Worship and Prayer Pastor position at Mountain View Community Church in Frederick, Maryland.
Tim is currently the Associate Pastor of Youth and Music at our current church, but has been experiencing God's tugging at his heart to peruse full-time worship for awhile. We have been praying for God's guidance as we went to interview and candidate at MVCC.
We need a lot of prayer as we try to sell our house. That is one of the hardest things to relax about. A new job, new house, new baby - all at once!
If you wouldn't mind praying for the sale of our house, that would mean a great deal! We are really hoping that someone will "assume the loan."
So that's big news. No news yet on Megersa's embassy date. It's been 1 week, 1 day, and Susan said it would most likely be 2 weeks until we find out...hopefully next Wednesday we'll know when we can travel!! I mean, I can't believe it's actually happening! I can BARELY stand it!! I can't WAIT to hold him and kiss his sweet little face! If I weren't so stinkin' busy packing and planning the move, I'd probably lose my mind! Haha.
Thankfully, God has given me an AWESOME amount of peace ever since we got our court date. I really feel like things will be smooth sailing.
The Ethiopian Embassy hears AAI's cases every other Wednesday, and our agency director said that we will most likely travel for the March 24th appointment, or April 7th. I'm praying very hard that it is in March - I'd LOVE it if we could
all be together for Cale's birthday!! But, I will try to exert patience, regardless!
Tim got his shots last week...well, most of them. He still has to get 2-3 others. His poor arm is really hurting him!
Anyway, back to the upcoming move:
We are 99% sure of where we are going to live. It's a townhouse in Frederick...about 10 minutes from the church. It's got 3 bedrooms, 3 1/2 bathrooms (I know - how crazy that there are more bathrooms than bedrooms!), and a finished basement that the owner said could be used as an extra room. It's got a back deck and a fenced in yard (praise the Lord!), with a membership to the townhouse community pool!
The pictures I've seen looked very nice...and the owner promised to make a few changes (with regards to primer, and wallpaper removal. We are confident this is the place for us. The owner is just that - not part of an agency, and is willing to let us paint colors we want, and do extra things with it. We will most likely be renting for several years before we can recover from the loss that we may take on this house....
It seems scary - but we are confident God is behind us, and we're excited! I fly out on Monday the 22 with Cale, and we are gonna stay in PA with my family for a few days, then I'll drive with Mom on Friday to MD. Tim hired a driver for the truck, and they said it'll take 2 days to get there. Tim will drive the van, and most likely get there before the truck and stay somewhere in Frederick (or maybe with his brother in Harrisburg). Then they hope to have stuff unpacked, and the major things assembled before Cale & I get there on Friday.
Lots of things happening!.......please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

video alert!

2010-02-01T18:48:00.000-08:00

Video Alert! Video Alert!
Cuteness factor: 10!!

And here's another:

So, there's my baby.
But here is my BIG BOY!! I have not forgotten him.
There is no way I could.
I don't know how anyone could!
I love Cale SO MUCH!
I'm confident that once the jealousy subsides, he will be the best big brother ever! Plus, BONUS: He loves to play "doggie" and crawl around on the floor (it's exhausting sometimes...but I bet Megersa will LOVE IT!).

beehive

2010-01-31T19:33:00.001-08:00

Check out the first picture I have of Megersa smiling:Okay, maybe 'smirking' is the better word for it. This baby will NOT give up smiles to just anyone. My only guess is that he is holding them all in for his Mommy and Daddy!
Anyway, enough about the smile -
Have you checked out his beehive?!?!
It's HILARIOUS - and adorable! I would have never believed that his hair was that long if I hadn't seen that picture! I guess he has really tight curls and someone brushed them out! :)
I LOVE IT...and looks a bit familiar:OR:Seriously though, this picture was the highlight of my day!
It's the new background on my computer AND phone.
Every time I look at it I giggle.

sharing my baby!

2010-01-29T21:26:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I can share my baby with you!
I've always felt that he was my son, but now that it's legal, and I can post pictures, I just feel so free! :)

As promised, I am continuing to post pictures of baby Megersa.
Here is the first full-body picture we got of Megersa. It really gave me a great idea of his size!Speaking of size, we got another medical update on Megersa.
As of Tuesday, the 26th, Megersa weighs 13 lbs, 7 oz and is 25.5 inches tall!
He's still pretty tiny by American standards, but he seems pretty average for Ethiopian babies with AAI, so that's good! I'm actually quite happy to be bringing home a peanut!
You know what is strange? I was just looking at Tim's old medical records his mom sent to us (for shot purposes), and I found out that Tim weighed only slightly more than Megersa did at the same age! Neat, huh?
Here are some other fun facts about Megersa (according to the doctor):
1. Megersa can sit balanced with support.
As evidenced by this adorable picture of him in his traditional Ethiopian attire:2. He can turn 180 degree from back to front when he lies on his back.
And it looks like someone may have captured this accomplishment mid-way! I think that it's so great he's able to roll from back to front...it means he's getting stronger! Plus, rolling from back to front is a lot harder than rolling from front to back. Good job Baby!!
3. He smiles when you play with him.
4. He can reach for and hold objects.
5. He is playful and happy baby.

Pictures for points 3-5 will have to come when I can get a good one to represent each. I have 2 people who promised they would try very hard to get smiling pictures of Megersa, so I'm holding out hope they are able to accomplish it!
But until then, I'll go ahead and post some more of my favorite pics:
I love a good sleeping baby picture. They're especially great to look at when he wakes up that umpteenth time at night! :)This is a great close-up of his sweet little face. I'm not really sure about the pink cheeks. I have quite a few pictures that show his bright pink cheeks. Several people are telling me his cheeks are probably just dry. Hm...I don't know, but I'll try some good thick lotion when he comes home in 2 months!!Lastly, I wanted to post a picture of Megersa with the "name board" - sometimes traveling families will do this for either themselves, or waiting families. I've seen it several times with many other children, but this was Megersa's first time to be "white-board identified" - a right of passage, you might say! :) haha. Why is his name spelled differently? Must be just a typo on someone's part...his name ends with an A.

LEGALLY YOURS...

2010-01-27T13:40:00.000-08:00

Doesn't that sounds better than "sincerely yours" or "truly yours" or...ANYTHING, REALLY!!
AHEM!.....We have an announcement to make:
WE PASSED COURT!

Megersa is legally our son.
I cannot believe it.
I am swelling with pride in this moment.
God has been SO good, and SO gracious to me.
I have been praying this past week for patience, and peace...and He has shown me more than that. I will never forget this day.
Thank you Lord for all of your blessings!

I want to share my blessing with all of you.
Introducing, Megersa Jace Nester:
WOW. The above picture of Megersa is the picture we got on the day of his referral! I instantly fell in love with my beautiful son! The above picture shows Megersa at 3 weeks-1 month (guesstimate)...it is the "youngest" picture I have of him, dated 9.30.09
And ONE more for fun!! I have so many to show you, but I want to save some for blog posts to come!The picture above was taken only a few days after our referral day. Tim and I debated over whether or not this was our son for almost a day. In the end I won (because I was right). We just couldn't believe how GREAT he looked, and how plain adorable he is!!

So, if I can climb down off this cloud, I'll try to answer the questions you may have.

When is your Embassy Appointment?
Well, I don't know yet. I spoke with one of our agency directors and asked the same question. She said that families are finding out about their assigned Embassy interviews around 2 weeks or so after they pass court. She said some families have only had to wait 5 days, but some have waited over 25!! (Let's hope we are in the earlier bunch.)
But WHEN will you travel?
We will travel the week of the Embassy appointment. It is required to be in the country from the Tuesday before the interview, until the Friday after it. Many families travel much longer, but I think Tim and his Dad will most likely make it a short trip. Susan told me that it is likely that we will be scheduled for March 24, 2010, or April 7, 2010. (Again, let's pray for the first date! I'd hate for Daddy to be gone on Cale's 3rd birthday - April 5th!, but if so, we can celebrate before he leaves!)
Did you say that Tim and his Dad are going? Aren't YOU going?
Well, that's a loaded question, but the answer is no. I am not going to be traveling to Ethiopia. It is a very difficult decision to make, but I am confident that it is the right one for our family. Cale hasn't had the pleasure of growing up near any extended family members (of Tim's or mine), so there isn't really anyone that we feel really comfortable with (asking, first off) and then leaving him with.
Even though I will really be jealous that Tim gets to experience this without me, I know that when he comes home very jet-lagged or sick, then I can swoop in, adrenaline pumping, and well-rested to take over. Plus, Tim is such a WONDERFUL Daddy. He is amazing with Cale. I am fully confident if anything happened to me, Cale would be WELL cared for (though Tim would need to learn to cook...something.)!! I know he will do a wonderful job in my absence, and on the trip to ET, Tim will be playing the roll of "Mommy" (nurturing, feeding, soothing, etc), and Megersa's 'Pop-Pop' will be playing the roll of "Daddy" (taking care of the logistics, etc).
Tim's Dad is a world-traveler. He sends out the overseas missions trips at Cedarville University, and has gone over seas MANY times himself (as well as living over seas in Hungary as a missionary) to many different countries. He hasn't been to Ethiopia yet, so he's very excited about it!
Lastly...will you keep us posted on your upcoming dates?
Of course!!! ((haha...I'm such a dork.))

save the date!

2010-01-25T19:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I'm putting a hold on my Katie ramblings to tell you some important news:

We just found out today that we have a court date!!!
Wanna know when it is??
It's on Wednesday.
THIS Wednesday!
The 27th!.............circle that date, and pray, pray, pray!!
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
You know what's crazy? This Wednesday is exactly 11 months from when our dossier was sent to Ethiopia!! On one hand that seems like so long ago, but then I feel like it was just yesterday that we sent in our application to AAI.
Wow.
What a great day!

Before hearing about our court date, I woke up to find that a friend who has just come back from ET with her 2 new daughters caught VIDEO of Megersa, and was able to tell me some great things about him!
So videos, court news...and then pictures! Someone just posted their pictures to Snapfish!
THEN...I figured out by the pictures that Megersa is in the bigger baby room!!
This is excellent news to me, because:
1. it means he's growing
2. He will be put on the blanketed area of the floor with toys to play with - and room to roll over! Plus, there are BUMBOS in that room! Awesome little "King Tut" chairs (as we so affectionately called them when Cale was tiny) that help a baby learn to sit up!
3. He will be with his buddy Tariku! (Okay, Tariku's mommy is MY buddy...but now they have a few months to get to be buddies too!) It's awesome!
What a GREAT DAY!

Plus, we got to squeeze in some free babysitting from friends so Tim and I could get some Chipotle and go see a movie. We saw Sherlock Holmes. Very good!

My heart is full today. :)

PART 3

2010-01-24T20:27:00.000-08:00

Well, I have to admit, this is feeling pretty silly, but hey, this blog is really for me, and Megersa (some day he'll be able to read it all and actually prove that his Mother is a crazy lady, and the best way she knows to help pass the time is to blog about random stuff - which is true, so I won't blame him).

So, as promised, here is Part 3 of the Katie info:
My quirks/pet peeves?
~Sorry babe, but this one is all about you - SNORING! Actually, Tim doesn't even snore...anymore. (I made him go to an ENT doctor, and they found out he had basically no breathing room in his nose, which was causing the open-mouthed snores!) So because of the habit Tim formed breathing out of his mouth for, oh, 20+ years of his life, he still does it...and I just can't sleep when there is any sort of unfamiliar noise.
~Yikes, that brings us to my sleeping habits:
They're bizarre...be warned.
I have to have 4 pillows. 2 big, 2 small. It initially started with one pillow under my head. Then I added one under my legs (for support)...then during pregnancy I added 2 pillows to both sides of me for comfort...and now I need all 4.
But that's not all. Because Tim sometimes gets loud at night, I started putting a small baby blanket, folded up over my face/ears.
It also needs to be COMPLETELY dark for me to sleep.
((Growing up my mom called me a vampire. ha ha.))
So, where are we? 4 pillows, the blanket on my face...I need my sheet (no sharing for me!) covering my toes up to my lip. And a fan on for 'white noise'.
That's all. It's normal, right?
Not convinced? Check out the picture below and then make a decision! ;)
I am actually in that bed. Can you see the inch of my face that is uncovered? This is actually how I sleep! :)Other interesting tidbits about me:
((Sleeping situation weird enough for you?...it gets weirder))
Try to relate to this song:
"How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad,
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad,
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral,
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will"....
You've heard this song right? I can relate to this singer on a smaller level. I have a nervous energy about me when I'm hearing or telling bad/sad news.
It's TERRIBLY awkward! I just sit there and smile...and stifle laughter like a goofball! I don't know why either! It's horrible... (But, even now, I'm starting to giggle thinking of the uncomfortable situations that have happened because of this quirk!! AHH!! :) ((And I do have stories, but I shouldn't share them for fear of shame!))
So, moving right along -
~I have had 5 surgeries.
1st, in 1994, I had brain surgery. I was 14. 9th grade. A great time for someone to shave your head right? WRONG! :)
I had a tumor in my cerebellum. I started complaining of headaches at age 11. By age 14 they had gotten so bad, I had a headache every day, pretty much all day. Usually I would wake up with a headache, but one night I woke up BECAUSE of the headache. I was shaking uncontrollably, then started dry-heaving.
We went to the hospital for a CT scan (which hadn't been ordered up till this point) and it revealed I had a "life-threatening tumor the size of a golf ball, in my cerebellum." I found this out on a Friday morning, and my surgery was scheduled for that Tuesday.
The recovery took awhile, but I do not experience headaches to that degree anymore. Many people have asked me if it's likely I'll get another...the answer is no, it is not likely. The surgeon's chipped a chunk of my skull out, and I have no plate, but I do sport an awesome scar running from the bottom of my neck to the crest of my head.
2nd, I had surgery to take my wisdom teeth out. I'm pretty sure I was 17 at the time. (I know it's not that big of a deal, but they DO put you under, so it counts, right?)
3rd, Age 21...I had to get my broken nose re-set. I got into a car accident the year that Tim and I got married. I was running late for nursing class, wasn't wearing my seat-belt, going too fast, and fishtailed on black ice. I went head-first into a ditch and smacked my face on the windshield (almost went through) and ended up in the seat next to me. I broke my nose in 2 places and got 8 stitches in my chin. I walked around for weeks looking like I had been beaten up. No fun.
4th, in 2007, I had a C-section. Best surgery! Weird statement, I know! But, I got to meet Cale when it was over. (And to be honest, it wasn't as bad as I was told it would be.) I was 23.
5th, 2009, a D&C...after my miscarriage. This was the worst. Even though I know one day I will meet my baby in Heaven, the whole surgery felt wrong. I was 25.
~Lastly, I like to hear myself think. Can you do this? Well, you CAN if you write it out, and then edit it till it sounds perfect...to you anyway! I feel so much better sometimes when I put my thoughts/feelings into words.
I'm sure it's not surprising that I like to blab on and on....

Moving on...

2010-01-23T19:59:00.000-08:00

PART 2:
Here's something that I don't think I've really ever discussed...but because I've read other blogs that are bold enough to mention it, I figure - WHY NOT!! -
I struggle with infertility.
Getting pregnant with Cale wasn't as hard as I thought it might be (with some mild fertility treatments)...and I see now that that was a true blessing from God.
He was born after Tim and I had been married 2 1/2 years.
Below is Cale at 1 day old. So tiny!When Cale was about 18 months, I got pregnant again (with the same treatments), only to lose that baby when he/she was 10 weeks old.
After that, I was diagnosed with PCOS, and my body has decided that it is "taking a break" from the idea of pregnancy.
We decided to "pull the trigger" on adoption.
Just so you know, adoption was not a 2nd choice for us.
We have always talked about it, but just didn't decide on the exact timing of it...but God let us know last year in November...that the time was perfect.
And how about this: We didn't have 1 penny saved for the adoption before we began the process!!
Kinda scary, isn't it?
God has PROVIDED!! We do have some of the balances remaining on our credit card, but comparatively, it is not too much.
(I didn't really intend this to be a "plug" for parents thinking about adoption, but if it helps - then that's awesome. You CAN adopt. Don't think about the money...it's not yours anyway. All things come from God...including money, AND children!) :)
Climbing off soapbox now.... :)Other things:
~My style of clothing: well, it's basically whatever I'm in the mood to wear that day. I did mention I enjoy thrift stores...I can find some cool things there name but I also love outlet malls, Target, Old Navy, and Kohls. A smorgasbord of style.
~I am VERY picky about music. I don't really like listening to anything new (and unfortunately my son has developed this same tendency)...which is hard for my husband, the biggest music fan I know! :)
I usually like one song that I play over and over. When I finally get tired of listening to it, perhaps I'll let the next song on the CD play. I then get used to that one, and EVENTUALLY I'll end up listening to a whole CD.
It's weird...and I know it.
~I am kinda the same way about movies. Tim is much more open-minded about flicks, and I tend to steer toward happy movies, cartoons, old favorites and chick flicks. I think I mentioned in one of my posts that I like to pretend the world is made of marshmallows, and nothing bad happens...well, with my selection of favorite movies, I can. :)So...2 parts down, 2 to go.

Who am I?

2010-01-22T18:58:00.000-08:00

This may seem random, but I've noticed that in the past 2-3 posts, I've gotten comments from people I don't know...which is AWESOME! I kinda thought, for the most part, I was writing for myself...to myself.
Sure, I knew of some close friends who may read it from time to time, but I didn't really think that there were..."others." It actually makes me feel pretty cool. :) Like what I say is amusing, or important or something. haha.
Then I stopped to think that these people don't REALLY know me. And well, how could they? They are following a story.
Have you ever read a book thinking it'd be cool to meet the author?
I have to admit, that I haven't thought much of it until now because it was never a possibility.

So, to that end...meet me:
PART 1 - I had to split this up into parts, because I actually wrote it all out and it is EXCESSIVELY long!

Katie Nester. Maiden name: Dudick.
Age: 26 - Birthdate 7.31.83
Married at age 21 to Tim Nester on 11.27.04
Mommy to Cale, who will be 3 on April 5 (scary!!), and Megersa, who is probably between 4-5 months old now.

Living in IL, but grew up in Northeast PA.
((Ever watch the office? W-B is near Scranton - and yes, all the places that Michael Scott talks about ARE real!))
Siblings: 4 - sister Elizabeth, brother Chet, brother Jeffrey, brother Bobby.
Mom: Joan, Dad: Chet, Step-Mom, Jannell (mom to Bobby & Jeffrey)
(Picture below: my mom, my sister and me.)(Picture below: me & Bobby)(Picture taken 2 months after Cale was born at Chester's graduation. in picture: Me, Tim, baby Cale, Chester, Elizabeth, Dad, Jannell, Jeffrey and Bobby.)Schooling: went to a TINY (I mean it - in 8th grade I was 1 of 5 students) Christian School, elementary through senior year.
Went to a TINY Baptist Church.
Got saved at age 7, I think.
Testimony: I have to think that I got saved for "fire insurance" ...at that age, the topic of Hell scared me...and faith and trust in God (who gives salvation as a free gift) for a child comes easily. Over the past 20 years I've grown in my relationship with Christ and have fully come to understand his sacrifice for us.
I long to serve Him and represent Him as a daughter in Christ.
(not sure what this all means? PLEASE ASK ME!!)
Went to college at Cedarville University for 2 years.
Majored in Nursing. Didn't finish.
Went to Clark State Community College, for nursing...didn't finish.
Both have stories attached, but I'm gonna try to edit this before it gets to BE a book! :)
Tim and I got married in his senior year of College, then he accepted the position of Associate Pastor of Student Ministries at the church we are currently at. But then, I went to...and finished....Cosmetology school! That's right, I'm NOT a beauty school drop-out!! Wahoo! :)
Need a haircut? Some highlights? Let me know! :)
Oh, and if you're wondering if I can cut my own hair...the answer is no. I can cut bangs for myself, and I have dyed and highlighted (partially) my own hair, but that's it......although, I bet I could perm it if I really wanted to. (I was an EXCELLENT permist!)
The picture below is one of my manikin...in beauty school all of your manikins start out with long, ugly brown hair (even the man manikin). Each day we learned a different cut/or color. This was one of my favorite days.There's more to come, in another post (if you're interested).

ATTENTION: kids will listen!!

2010-01-21T11:14:00.000-08:00

Okay, it's a give-in that babies and kids are listening to the world around them...specifically their parents.
But when do they begin comprehending?
I'd say, at age 2...somewhere in that year of life, they begin to realize they can listen, understand, and REPEAT everything that they hear.
Kinda makes you take a step back and think much harder about what you say...and listen to! Cale has been repeating us, other people, things he hears on television, etc. for months now; but he recently entered the phase of toddlerhood that he repeats the same thing OVER and OVER and OVER.
So, when you're trying to get him to stop saying "Oh my gosh!" (Which sounds much worse on a 2 year old with a lisp), he ONLY wants to say it. Ahhh!
Tim and I have been more aware of this recently, and it has helped.

Anyway...to my WONDERFUL surprise, Cale has been picking up other things...
For instance:
Today, I asked him to do something. I can't remember exactly (there are so many things :)...maybe "please pick up your crayons, and put them in the box"...to which he promptly responded "No."
This request went in circles for awhile until I decided that I would take another approach.
I would sing a song to him...A good ol' Sunday School song that I sang as a kid (and perhaps guilt him into it! (jk...it was strictly for the lesson!!) :) -

So, I started singing:
"I will OBEY the first time I'm told...
I will obey RIGHT AWAY... ((emphasis on the important words...;))
and to my joyous surprise, Cale finished for me:
"never asking why...
never with a sigh!...
I will obey right away!"
(I mean, sure the words weren't perfect, but he knew the song!)
WHOA!!!! My first thought was, did I teach him this already?
No, I didn't think so. I called Tim, he never sang it to him either.

I guess they're still using the good ol' songs in Sunday School...20-some years later. AWESOME!!

Honestly, I am so proud that he is my son and is already learning to love the Lord. The other day he reminded us to pray before eating (to be fair...we hadn't even been sitting yet...I guess he just wanted to pray because HE had his food. ;)
He also LOVES Christian music. Maybe that's because it's all we listen to, but still...
He's learning Bible verses too (when I remember to teach him!)!

Another story:
We were in church early, listening to Daddy lead our Worship team, and he was checking out the pews in the front row. He discovered that the hymnals and the Bibles are located under the seats.
When he discovered the Bible, WITHOUT my prompting, he told me, "Mommy, 'dis the Bible." - and then he said his verse (with the motions I taught him).
"John 17:17...Your word is truth."

I am SO proud of him!! I can totally see him being a Youth Pastor or Missionary when he's grown. He's definitely got the personality and energy! (quiet moments with Cale...rare, but beautiful to capture.)

boys vs. girls

2010-01-20T16:18:00.000-08:00

Have you ever met one of those women who ONLY wants to parent little girls?
((Not to be confused with women who just so happened to only HAVE girls...there is a difference))
I'm sorry if you fall into the first group...but you are sometimes offending those of us with boys!
I have encountered this on more than one occasion:
while shopping, at a baby shower, general conversations with friends...where these baby-girl-crazy-women tell me how "thankful they are they had a girl, not a boy"...(and yes, people have said this!)...and "Aren't baby girls clothes SOOOOO cute?...don't you wish you could buy some?"
Um...no? I have a BOY, remember?
I even had one person say to me, while I'm GIGANTICALLY pregnant with Cale, (who I knew was a boy) "I'm SO glad I had a girl...girls are so much cuter and sweeter"....
Um? What was I suppose to say to that?
I think I said, "that's nice...I'm having a boy! I think boys are cute and sweet too!"
And it's TRUE! Sure, boys are loud, stinky, and sometimes confuse Mommy for a napkin (seriously, Cale JUST did this!)...but they are loving, and sensitive, and they also have some ADORABLE clothing to buy!
Occasionally I come across an "I only want boys" women, and I have to say I'm always taken a-back..."REALLY?!" :)...they are few and far between!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of women who wants all boys...I would love to parent at least one girl - adopted or biological...but I just wanted to tell women who can't fathom having a boy that, as a Mom of 2 boys...there is nothing to be afraid of!
And yes, you CAN find cute clothes!!!!
Observe:outfit for Megersa, and something that currently fits Cale. Awe! I can't wait to get them both together to take a picture!Crazy crazy Cale. Always putting on a show for Mommy.

A baby?

2010-01-14T19:53:00.000-08:00

I think I've mentioned before that I don't have the strongest recollection of how big babies were at certain months, or how small clothes really are made...
The other day I was asked when Cale started talking, and to be honest, I had to give them a ballpark. I remember that Cale had few words (and some sign language words) to let us know what he wanted. I don't really remember the progression from when he would 'point and grunt' to now (where he is never quiet!). I think that he went from only a few words, to full sentences in only a matter of time. I BELIEVE it was around age 2, but again, I can't remember these things! My friends who have babies at only months old ask me when Cale started doing 'this' or when he stopped doing 'that.' AHHH! I wish I had written it down. I guess I always thought I'd remember. I am determined to record Megersa's growth and milestones more carefully!
I only hope I can dig deep into my memories to remember how to parent a young baby without words...
And just for fun, I thought I'd pass along the sentence that Cale said last night.
Tim was laying in his bed with him, trying to get him to sleep...but Cale wanted to talk. This is word-for-word the conversation Cale had with Daddy (well...himself, really) - try if you can, to follow the train-of-thought:

"That's the ceiling...and that's the wall. No that's the floor...and that's the wall. Oh that's a light switch...it doesn't work. Turn it on?...no it doesn't work...turn it off. Pictures...little tiny baby...getting big...getting big....getting big...(while holding his hands up high he says) I'm really tall!
(after laying back down, Tim sighs, and Cale continues)..."Daddy's sleeping"...*sigh*...Cale's sleeping. I'm breathing. Daddy's mouth open? Daddy has a mouth...Cale has a mouth...Mommy has a mouth. Daddy, Mommy, Cale has a mouth...(pretending to yawn:) "ahhh!" (he touches Tim's lip divet)...Daddy has a lip...Mommy has a lip...Cale has a lip.
Daddy: shhh!
Cale puts his finger to his mouth - "shh!"

So...he completed that ENTIRE run-on sentence without a break, until Daddy interrupted him with a "shhh". I wonder how long he would have continued.

Less Words Wednesday

2010-01-13T18:47:00.001-08:00

Cale in his jammies (that are now getting snug on him!) It scares me slightly that my 2 year old's 3T clothes are now too snug, and the 4T clothes I had for him for NEXT fall, are fitting surprisingly well.....Tim & Cale. 2 of my 3 favorite guys.
Me and Cale playing with the timer on the camera. :) ((Excuse how horrific I look in the picture.))
It'll be strange when it's not just me and Cale. Strange, and GOOD! But I'm so used to my little shadow. Funny/grosse Cale story: yesterday Cale was suppose to be napping, when I hear him yell from his room - "Mommy, I have big poopies in my pants...That's yucky!" Funny that he already knows what my response would be, and since I was ignoring him, he answered for me! What a kid.

passing time...

2010-01-09T12:04:00.000-08:00

So, what have I been up to for the past few weeks? A lot of stuff. Some good, some bad...and some EXTRA fun!
I love, Love, LOVE to find a bargain! And I always find one. How do I get clothes so cheap? Easy. I just don't buy them if they aren't on sale. And I mean REALLY on sale...especially baby clothes. Kids burn through them so quickly, I just cannot see spending the amount of money some will.
Today I found a shirt at the thrift store (yep...I love me some thrift stores!!) for $.22, you read that right - twenty-two cents. Oh yeah!
Ever since Christmas, I've really been feeling like I will see Megersa SOON. I know I probably still have another 2 months or so before I can actually hold him, (and dress him)...but knowing that I'm THAT close makes me crazy! :)
Crazy in a good way. A "get-organized-now-so-I-can-focus-on-mothering-when-he-gets-home" way.
I went through all of Cale's clothes again to see what would line up with Megersa. Cale was a MONSTER, he came home from the hospital in newborn clothes, but by the time he was 2 months old, he weighed 14 lbs!
The last person that checked Megersa's size told me that he was still wearing 0-3 months clothing and that it fit okay.
I'm thinking he'll be at least in a size 3-6 month clothing when he gets home, but all of Cale's 3-6 month clothes are summer clothes - basically onesies.
So I've been on the hunt for 3-6 month clothes....THEN I thought, maybe he'd be in 6-9 month clothes, and I thought it'd be better to err on the larger size, then to buy clothes that wouldn't end up fitting him. He looks teeny, but he IS 4 months old....and how much will he gain in another 2 months or so??? AHHHHHH!
At any rate, I bought a smorgasbord of 6, 6-9, 12, and 18th month clothes...various seasons that I think may line up with where he is weight-wise. I hope they're right!
Just for fun - here's what I bought:Oh, and when I was at Walmart the other night...killing time with Cale, as I often do (Walmart is only 4 minutes from our house), I noticed that cards were on sale. Usually I don't care, but a lot of them were the ones that play music or have special sound effects. I even found some that LIGHT up!!! One in particular was just perfect for Megersa.
On the front of the card it says "I didn't planet this way, but I'm glad our worlds collided!" (Sure, it's suppose to be a romantic card, with 2 people holding hands on top of a world...but I just wrote "Mommy & Daddy" on them, and put a dot in Africa on the world, and put "Megersa")....Anyway, when you open the card, the world is a heart and all around it are little stars that actually light up! The card is set where the stars take turn lighting up while this sweet little music plays - VERY mesmerizing!! I also covered up the little "happy birthday" saying with pictures of Cale, Tim & I.
I hope it gets a smile out of him! (Can you see the little lights on some of the stars? Cute, right?) :)
It's been hard to see the past few pics of him looking so scared, or startled, or unhappy. I mean, I don't think he's unhappy, but it kinda looks that way, and it's hard to see!
Someone volunteered to take this card to Megersa and open it and read the little note inside...which is very nice of her!
As long as it doesn't make him CRY, I'll say that it's $3 well spent!

So yeah, that's what I've been doing to feel connected to my baby who's on the other side of the world.

2 months

2010-01-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

It's been 2 months since our referral.
Megersa is 2 months older.
He's been a part of our family for 2 months, but he doesn't know it yet...
I have to admit, that makes me a little sad. But, of course, considering the alternative of still waiting for a referral I'd gladly take this.
2 months down, hopefully only 2 months left.
(This is just a guess based on previous referral to travel times.)
Though we got new pictures yesterday, and the day before, and the day before...I am constantly craving more. I feel as though I did much better in the beginning, when I only had the 2 pictures of him...it's like a Megersa drug! :)

This is a wonderful week for referrals. It's only Tuesday and 4 families from OAEG got their referrals!!!!! 2 boys and 2 girls! It makes me re-live the day I got to see Megersa's face for the first time...a day full of smiling and shrieking! Plus, I've been looking at pics of these babies, wondering who they belong to, and now I know! :) Congrats, families!

my startled Megersa

2010-01-04T19:12:00.000-08:00

THIS is how Megersa looks in oh, about 75% of his pictures recently. Seriously. (except picture his lips curled in)
I so desperately want to see him smile!
We are so very fortunate to have access to a short video clip of him smiling, so at least I know he does smile from time to time.
I spoke with my friend who took the pictures and she said that he does smile alot, but when he sees the camera coming - the startled face is what we get.
Awe, poor baby!

Court news:
None yet. But my friend who is in the same Group letter as me called in to check about our court date. Apparently AAI hasn't heard anything about it yet, but "they should be hearing very soon." Which is good news. Hopefully AAI will hear something before Ethiopia's New Year (which is Jan 6), because they take holiday time off for that.
Rachael was told that the court date tends to be about 2 weeks after AAI is informed. So, basically, we don't know anything yet, but it's LOOKING like our court date may be in 2-3 weeks! "Mid-late January," she said!
Very exciting!

I soooooooooooooooo want to hold my baby!
He needs his Mommy...and his Mommy needs him (maybe one more than the other ;)!

Guardian

2010-01-02T19:00:00.001-08:00

I got the best Christmas present today.
It came late, but seriously, it is THE BEST.
I am looking at it now, and I can hardly keep from crying.
Crying from the sentiment of it. It's a beautiful thing.
Are you curious yet? :)

This is what my Mother & Father-in-Law got me:
This is the "Guardian" Willow Tree Figurine.

I own a few other Willow Tree figurines which I also love, but this one just touched my heart SO much this time. I wish there were several angles available to show you, because when you swirl the figurine around you get a better idea of how protected the baby is:
Her back is arched in, her arms are wrapped tight. Her knees protect her arms. Baby's face is nuzzled in her neck.
The Mommy will not let anything happen to her baby.
THIS is how I feel about Megersa.

On the little card that comes with the figurine it says:
Guardian - Love and protect thee, forever.

And I will.

Honestly, this small figurine has stirred up so much emotion and I feel like while words sometimes fail me, the "guardian" can say it all.

(I only wish the baby's face was brown. :)

About a boy...

2010-01-01T06:48:00.001-08:00

...a baby boy named Megersa:

I'd love to share with everyone the things I have gleaned from a traveling family over the past week or two. It has been a WONDERFUL present to me to be able to hear these things. It's hard knowing you have a baby on the other side of the world who you love so much, but who doesn't know you.
So, until we can meet face-to-face Megersa, I'll live vicariously through those people who are there to hold you and love on you!

Dec 21, 2009 - "Katie, Megersa is a sweetie, and loves to cuddle. Both of my kids held him and he gave us some sweet smiles."

Dec 23, 2009 - "The last 2 days we have been there Megersa has been sleeping all morning so we haven't been able to cuddle much with him. He is not in the same room as Tariku. Megersa is in one of the rooms with the small babies and Tariku is with the middle-sized ones right now."

Dec 28, 2009 - "Megersa was cooing at me at lot yesterday, it's the first time I've seen him awake much."

Dec 28, 2009 - "I got to cuddle with Megersa for awhile today and feed him a bottle. He is such a sweetie! One of the nannies told me that he is a very good baby."

Dec 29, 2009 - "There are about 5 rooms at Wanna and they are roughly grouped according to age. There are 2 rooms with the very tiny babies. The rooms are also very tiny, so there are only about 5 or 6 babies in each room and there is no floor space to put them down because they are too small for that anyway. One of the tiny baby rooms has Megersa in it. There are several other babies who are 4 months or younger.

ME (Dec 29, 2009):
Do you know if they move the babies out of their rooms at any point? It concerns me that Megersa will not be put anywhere but his crib ever.
Rachael and I compared ages/weights, and our guys are only DAYS apart in age, her baby being older and coming into care almost 2 months after Megersa. Is Megersa that much smaller than the others? What does his chart say with respect to age? Maybe they're thinking he's younger than they originally said.
Two more questions about him, if you don't mind:
Do the nannies have any sort of nickname for him?
What size clothes is he wearing now?

Dec 30, 2009 - "Katie, I think they move babies around as they get older since the rooms are grouped mostly by age. Megersa's chart says that he is 3 months. He does seem little and seems younger than Rachael's baby. There are two bouncy seats in each of the little baby rooms so he is put in there sometimes. I haven't heard the nannies call him by any nicknames and they don't speak much English, so I don't think they would understand what I was asking if I tried to ask them. The outfit that he was wearing today was a 0-3 month and it seemed to fit okay. You cannot believe the outfits that they put the baby boys in! One of the little boy babies was wearing a pink sleeper with flowers on it! My husband just laughs and tells the kids they'll have to wait until their parents come to dress properly."

Wonderful information, isn't it? I am so so so SO grateful to Jennifer Anton and her family who is in ET on vacation. She is another adoptive family member part of OAEG and her information is PRICELESS! I only hope to be able to pay her back when we travel.

We also got some sweet sweet videos of Megersa! One is a short clip, about 20 seconds and he's sleeping, but still, you can tell how tiny and beautiful he is, even when asleep.
The other clip is about that same length of time, but the nannies got him to smile! They were repeating his name over and over again and he was smiling at them. ADORABLE! When he turned his head to look at the camera he got this "deer-in-the-headlights-look" which Cale thinks is hilarious. Cale asks to see "Megersa, Megersa" over and over! I think we both have the clip memorized! :)

L...O...??....E

2009-12-30T19:17:00.000-08:00

Guess what??
Megersa's case got submitted to court!!
And guess what group we're in???
Right now I am LOVING the adoption train ride!
Of course I have had my ups and downs, but I'm beyond excited to be headed to the top of the loop! We're almost there!

Here's what I know:
Dec 10...got an email saying that Megersa's case was almost ready, outside of the cover letter.
Dec 15...emailed in to find Megersa's case still hadn't been submitted.
Dec 28...called in, to find out that Megersa's case HAD been submitted, and that we are in Group V!

Here is how that conversation went on Monday:
Me:
"Hello,
This is Katie Nester, and I'm calling to find out if my little guy Megersa's case had been submitted to court yet. The last time we spoke, you mentioned that they were waiting on the cover letter to complete his file."

Her:
"Yes, I remember. When I got back into the office today I had several messages from ET...hang on while I check which one pertains to your case."
"Okay, we have here that your case has been submitted, and that you are in Group V. You should be informed of a court date within 10 days or so from court filing, and it looks good that you will have a court date by the end of January."
:)
Dec 30 (today)...we get home from PA and check the mail, to find a bill from AAI for the remaining balance we owe. It stated on the bill that this part of the ET fee was due when your case is submitted to court and must be paid in full before they can schedule an embassy date.
So, I look at the date at the top. It is marked Dec 18.
My friend Rachael got the exact same bill, so she emailed to find out she is also in Group V. Her bill is also marked Dec 18.
A conspiracy? Maybe.
Does that mean that our case was filed on Dec 18, and my stomach was in knots for 10 days for no reason!!?? Perhaps, but I know I was again, learning patience.

Fast forward to just a few minutes ago. I checked my old emails to find an email someone sent me with news of when her case had been submitted to court.
I HAD to check to see if the dates match up. Guess what?
Her case was also submitted on Dec 18!
Holy Moly!
I was told that families usually get a court date that is about 4-5 weeks after their cases had been submitted. Is it possible to think that our court date may mid January? Whoa!
Things are moving!
10 business days from the 18th of Dec would be this coming Friday, but because the office is closed tomorrow and Friday, perhaps we'll hear something early next week.
That would be awesome!
I, of course, will keep you all posted.

growing, growing, growing...

2009-12-26T08:24:00.000-08:00

I'll start off with the things that will make you smile.
We got 2 new pictures of Megersa recently! One was of someone holding him, so we got to see what his size was in comparison to an adult. :) A very nice gift. The other was just plain adorable - good thing he's manly enough to sport the pick & green hoodie he's wearing!
We also got some new stats on his growth, and since I don't think I've ever posted his original stats, I'll just do them all:
Oct 5, 2009 - 8.9 lbs...21.7 in
Oct 13, 2009 - 9.1 lbs...22 in
Oct 19, 2009 - 9.2 lbs...22.4 in
Oct 26, 2009 - 9.4 lbs...22.4 in
Nov 9, 2009 - 9.7 lbs...23.2 in
Nov 18, 2009 - 10.3lbs...23.2 in
Dec 7, 2009 - 11.2 lbs...23.6 in
Dec 14, 2009 - 11.4 lbs...23.6 in

Observations of Megersa on 10/29/09:
He follows objects with his eyes.
He feeds well and sleeps a lot.
He is gaining weight through time.
He moves his arms and kicks his legs independently of each other.

Observations of Megersa on 12/18/09:
He can raise his head and he can hold an object in each hand.
He turns his head, moves arms, and kicks his legs independently of each other.
He smiles when you play with him.
He feeds well and sleeps a lot.

The updates are just wonderful to get, and they make me crave more! I have a friend from our small yahoo group (OAEG) who is there in Ethiopia now for the holidays, and she was able to tell me this about Megersa:
Katie - Megersa is a sweetie, and loves to cuddle. Both of my kids held him and he gave us some sweet smiles.

It was wonderful to see that he is smiling for people! I hope I can see him smile in some new pictures!

So, that is all the wonderful news I have!

Despite the beauty of all that information, I still can't shake the feeling that even in the holiday busyness (and we are SO busy here in PA visiting family)...that something is wrong. This is Megersa's first Christmas, and he's not here. :(
I SOOOOOOO long to hold him, and have him home. This journey has been very long already, and I'm ready for it to be over.
But...the wait for court filing continues. Our agency director said that there will be more cases submitted to court before the end of the month, but I haven't heard anything...and the end of the month is coming up very quickly.
I am praying for God's peace throughout the last leg of this journey...it has gotten very difficult.

Itchy

2009-12-11T20:35:00.000-08:00

I feel "itchy" to blog again. I'm not sure why.
Maybe because I have been posting every day for the past few days. Maybe because I feel like it passes the time, or records the time for me as I wait. I have been dying for my friend to announce on her blog that she got her referral! :) When she does I can discuss our plans for our children to become best friends. You know they are most likely days apart in age?
Both were born in August '09.
I wanna know Megersa's assigned birthday!!!
You know, I made a calendar for my Dad today for Christmas.
He's one of those men who has everything they want/need.
And I find it difficult to buy something for someone who usually just gets what they want for themselves.
Usually his birthday or Christmas request is Starbucks coffee or gift cards. So, I'm trying to think outside the box and get him something "invaluable" (as pictures always are).
Hence the calendar.
So, I was uploading pictures, filling in the captions for each photo, and going through each day of the month...typing in birthdays or anniversaries, when I came to realize it that NO ONE on my Dad's side of the family (and it is a LARGE family - from my 2 grandparents came 5 children, 25 grandchildren, and 5 great-grands!)...has a birthday in August. No one even has an anniversary in that month!
Until Megersa. :)
I desperately wanted to pick a day and type in that info, but I don't want it to be wrong when we actually do find out. I'll have to settle for just 'writing' it in. Not as cool. Oh well!
I took a picture of Cale holding a picture of Megersa and used that as the pic for the month of November!! Referral month! I wish I could post it!
So anyway, this 'friend' who got a referral spoke with one of our agency directors about her baby's file and found out some good information - The next group to go to court (I think they're on group "U") will have a court date of Dec 17!
At first I thought it was possible that we might get in that group, but that's highly unlikely. We haven't been submitted yet. Even if they did their best to get his file ready by next week, I can't imagine that a court submission and court date only days apart. Either way though, things ARE moving for people. The most recent court date was Dec 8, so if the pattern is court every week and a half, that would put us in a good position to travel in early spring (which is our hope/wish/prayer).
Alright, enough with that. I dont want to get myself over excited.
Here is some fun Cale and I had today: I can't take the credit for it. I found this idea in one of my Parents magazines...but try it - fill squirt bottles with water and then put a few drops of food coloring in them and let your child go wild in the snow! Cale LOOOOOOVED this! He kept asking me, can I spray dis Mommy? Yes? Cale spray the snow? It was so funny. It took him awhile to trust that he was allowed to do it. Lots of fun.

all clear!

2009-12-10T19:32:00.000-08:00

Megersa's case is "in the clear" (for the time being anyway). I got this email from one of our agency directors:

Hi Katie,
Here is an update from Gail:
Also he (Temesgen – AAI Legal Representative) spoke to the orphanage lady from Shashemene to finalize the paper for Megersa Nester quickly. She had forgotten about it.......... that paper is clear, only for the cover letter, and shouldn't take long either now.
So, there does not seem to be a problem with the paperwork and it is on its way to being completed.
Thanks for your patience.

The way the staff writes is often confusing to me. I'm sure they all are busy, busy, busy, so they probably don't have the time to pay special attention to punctuation and proper sentences, etc...which make it a bit confusing to read.
But even still, I could tell it was good news!
Lets keep praying for the cover letter to be complete and for our case to be submitted next week!
That would be such a lovely early Christmas present!

Less Words Wednesday

2009-12-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

I am totally off on my days. Yesterday I thought it was Wednesday and today I think it's Thursday. But it's not...and as a result - you get to see some more pictures that I think are great!
It has been snowing off and on for 2 days. Cale and I have been having TONS of fun in the snow. Making footprints, eating snow, shoveling, Me making a snowman, Cale knocking it's head off....all the good things in life! Here is a summary of our fun:We also continued the cookie baking I had started on Monday. Today Cale was very helpful! He helped me make the dough, roll it, dump sprinkles on it, and push the cookie cutters in.
Observe:
You know what's weird though? All that tempting prep work and my kid wouldn't even eat the finished product. It's not really a surprise to me. He dislikes home-baked cookies. Actually, come to think of it, the only cookies I've seen him eat, and like, are oreos. Doesn't get that trait from Me or his Daddy! What an oddball, huh? Oh well, we had lots of fun! :)

Baby Love

2009-12-08T14:27:00.000-08:00

We got another picture of our baby today!!
It was almost a full-body shot...up to about, his knees. He is just soooo beautiful! And I mean that...not like in a sissy way, but really, he is!
The icing on the cake was that the picture had all of the things from his welcome bag in it (minus the camera) - outfit, toy, my blanket (which he was holding!!!!), and the photo album.
To see the photo album, opened to a picture of the 3 of us (here) next to his little face made me think what our family pictures would be like.
And you wanna know what my reaction was?
"I could do this all over again...and soon!"
To think that we haven't even finished our first adoption, (especially being WAY off monetary-wise...though we are confident God will provide), and I'm talking about the next one!
Crazy, I know...but I warned you in the previous post that I'm a tad batty these days! :)
ps. It was also WAY awesome to see his name in the subject line: Megersa Nester.
Yup. :)
On anther note, with respect to Megersa's case being filed, we have yet to hear about it. I wrote to our agency director to see if she knew anything. Since several people received notification that their cases had been submitted last week, it would stand to reason we would have to wait until next week at the earliest to hear anything. (Cases are submitted every 2 weeks or so).
Here is what I asked today:
Hi,
I had a quick question for you:
Toward the end of the in-process update that just went out, you mentioned that cases were filed every 2 weeks.
Some of my friends received emails last week saying their cases had been submitted to court, but we have not yet.
Am I correct in understanding that it will most likely be until next week that we hear something? He was eligible on the 24th of November.
Anxious/excited,
Katie Nester

This is her response:
We really don’t know I am sorry to say. As soon as the contract of adoption is signed and all the paper work is ready the cases are submitted in a group, about every two weeks. We will let you know when we have news.

And while I'm copying and pasting, I'll let you know what she said about his case with respect to the situation in Shashemene:

I saw the In-process update and was happy to see about the information
you got from the Shashamene region! I did have concerns that our case
might be delayed because of the situation...
But since you didn't contact our family directly about a long delay,
can I assume that we are in the clear (for the time being?).

Her:
Katie, When our staff informs us that there is a problem with a case we
inform the family. There have been some problems in Sheshemone with some
cases, so far we haven't heard that there is a problem with yours and we
hope that there won't be. I am sorry they haven't answered as to when you
case can be filed. I'll ask again, but with many families asking questions
about their cases sometimes messages just don't get dealt with, also there
were email problems earlier this week.

Okay, so that's all the news I have to share for the time being. Perhaps next week we'll know more! :)

It's a race! It's a race!!

2009-12-07T15:21:00.000-08:00

Not really. There is no real race, but I feel like I'm in a race sometimes...nothing too specific, just life in general. Do you think that's because we live in such a face-paced economy? Everything we want or need is usually right at our fingertips. If we need to wait on something, life is turned upside-down!
Today MID-stir, my blender/beater (whatever you call it) broke. I immediately wanted to run out and buy another one...but without a car, it was difficult. Thankfully I have a neighbor who was willing to let me borrow hers for the duration of my Christmas cookie baking, but good glory, what would I have done without that? haha! I guess I would have had to use my arms!!
Cookie making wasn't really the issue that made me think of racing, it was just annoying, so I thought I'd share! :)
What made me think I was racing was when one of my friends announced that she passed court. A day early!
This is excellent news for her, but it made me think, "Hey wait! I haven't heard that my case was submitted to court yet!"...which doesn't make any sense. She got her referral about 2 months before I got mine, of course she would pass before me.
I feel the same way when people announce their pregnant with their 3rd child.
"I haven't even had my second,"..."I'm older than you", etc etc.
What a goofy reason to think something like that, isn't it?
I'll answer my own question - "totally."
When things do happen with referrals, court cases, or travel, it makes me happy that things are moving along, but I can't help but get a little bit 'jumpy' waiting for my turn!
I think this stuff with the possibility of delays from cases that came from Shashamene really has me crazy! I think I will feel so much better when I hear that our case has been submitted. This way I know there isn't a problem.
But until then...I'll probably be a tad batty.

Scene 3, Take 1.

2009-12-04T22:17:00.000-08:00

It's been 1 month since we got our referral. Amazing. I still have that blissful feeling when I think about that Thursday when I got "the call." I hope the next few months fly by as fast as this one did.
Megersa is now eligible for court, but our case hasn't been submitted yet. There has been some talk of delays from the area he was born in. Some government restructuring that has been causing some problems. When I found out it was Megersa's region, I have to say that it panicked me! I spent that whole day playing tug-o-war with God as I fought to try and control this problem. I decided it was best to let Him take control, because He knows what's best for my life, and I prayed, and have been praying for God's peace with whatever the situation may be.
The most recent report from our agency states:
There has been reference recently on the aaiethiopia list to cases from Sheshemone. There has been a change in the organization and staffing of the department that approves adoptions there and new officials are nervous about adoption cases, fearing that there have been cases done improperly in the past (not with AAI cases). Temesgen was in Sheshemone last week and continues to advocate and promote adoption with these folks. With cases where we believe there will likely be a long delay we have notified the families involved.
So, since I haven't heard anything about possible delays (and I gave them a chance because I called specifically to ask about it! ;)...I'm going to go out on a limb and say that we are in the clear for now? I'm still holding my breath a little for the next week or so until I find out that Megersa's case has been submitted.
Once this court stuff is over I will definitely breathe easier.
The holidays actually help a lot!
I'd love to start some family traditions that we can continue each year, but since Cale's only 2, we haven't really started any, and I'm not sure where to begin!
SUGGESTIONS?? It could be anything really.
I need something to help pass the time.
You know what else I just noticed?
Cale will be 3 in exactly 4 months.
Scary.

Home

2009-11-30T20:38:00.001-08:00

It's good to be home!
This SHOULD be a short post...we'll see how it goes.

If you've read my previous post in it's entirety,
(yes, I know it was LONG!)
you'll see that Tim and I have moved...alot!
As a couple we've lived in 5 different places, in our 5 years of marriage, and I have to say that our "home" was wherever we were.
Yes, yes...it's also "where our heart is"...but mainly just where our stuff is, and where we feel familiar and good.
We've made each apartment and house our home, no matter how long we lived there.
I love to visit family, but I LOVE when I get home...even when the house smells stagnant and the fridge is BARE!
I think it's something about settling back into the routine of things...
I like knowing that I can let my guard down.
Do you ever get this feeling? It's nice.
We are making another big trip, to PA this time, in just a few weeks, so I'll have to give up my "home sweet home" feeling again soon.
But for now, I want to say:
I just love my family and I love to be home.
That's all.

Wow, this WAS short! :) (comparatively, anyway)

"I do!"

2009-11-27T09:27:00.000-08:00

5 years ago today Tim and I were in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania...anxiously awaiting the 11am hour when I would walk down the aisle and we would confess our undying love for each other, while committing the rest of our lives to our marriage. It was the best decision of my life and I'll always remember this day.
On November 27, 2004 I married my best friend.
I could go on being mushy-gushy and make a few people feel awkward, but that's not really my style. :)
Instead, I'll recap the past 5 years, for all of you that may not know us that well:

YEAR 1

We lived in Cedarville, Ohio...in the married student housing. We had a dinky little apartment that was very cold, and very tiny! I can remember the pilot lite went out least 3 times and we would sit there freezing for days until a maintenance man could come and fix it. I remember that our bedroom was so small, that we had to shove our bed up against 2 walls, in order to fit our dressers in the room. Craziness.
I was taking Nursing classes in the hopes of doing something my parents approve of. Haha. Okay, I did have some interest in it too. Not 3 months after we got married, I got into a pretty bad car accident and we ended up with a pile of medical bills. I'll never forget that icy day on the road...
Tim was finishing up his Youth Ministries degree at Cedarville University while interning at Far Hills church. I worked at a Nursing Home taking care of the elderly, and Tim moonlighted as a delivery driver at our local pizza place. I'm pretty sure that first year we made a total of $13,000! YIKES! Our first year ended with us candidating at the church we are currently at.

YEAR 2

Year 2 starting with a LOT of packing. Tim officially told Faith Baptist Church "yes" and he became the Associate Pastor of Student Ministries. We moved late December to Wheaton, IL. Our first apartment in Wheaton was GIANT! A wonderful upgrade compared to our 1st place, except the kitchen was also tiny, with ugly cabinets.
Tim and I actually had a dog for 3 days in that apartment. Our first pet, a female beagle named Marley. Adorable! But we were not ready for that kind of commitment. I convinced Tim to return her to her previous owners.
But, not much later that year, we got an orange kitten named Tobey.
He was the most INSANE animal ever! I'm sure he's "on a farm" today. ;)
I started beauty school this year and Tim settled in to his new full time job. Towards the end of Year 2 I found out I was pregnant...and as our lease came to a close, we had to move, again.

YEAR 3

We traded Tobey for Cale. Cale was born just a month after I finished Cosmetology school. We moved into an apartment with 2 bedrooms, but I feel as though it wasn't the best trade off, seeing that for more than 1/2 a year we had obnoxious downstairs neighbors. We eventually got them kicked out - bet'cha didn't think we were capable of anything like that, huh?? :)
Year 3 was a crazy whirlwind of figuring out how to be parents. I was able to stay-at-home with Cale (as I do now) and I just soaked up every minute of being a Mom. Watching your child grow is the best thing in the world. We did alot of traveling that year, and to help us out, Tim purchased a new-to-us minivan which is by far the best vehicle we've owned (and we've been through 5 as a couple!). We took trips to Ohio, Michigan and Pennsylvania to visit family. The only other thing I can remember from that year is that we were both completely sleep-deprived. Thanks, Cale! :)
At the conclusion of Year 3, we moved again.

YEAR 4

We started off year 4 renting a house in West Chicago. It was NOT a good situation. We did enjoy not sharing walls with other people, but our Landlord made sure we wouldn't enjoy anything else. During the 9 months we lived at that house, we watched Cale grow. He got his first tooth there, he learned to crawl up in his bedroom, and took his first steps in the living room...so for those memories, I thank you Wiant house... :)
In year 4 we experienced our first scare as parents. Cale needed to have surgery and we understood the helplessness that parents COULD feel. The Lord carried us through that difficult time.
We only had a 9 month lease for our rental house, so we moved....again!
This move took us to the house we now live in, and own! It's a wonderful place. We love the location, the neighborhood and the fact that there is a huge park a block away from us. We did more traveling during this year as our families live far away. To end off year 4 we had to endure the sadness of our miscarriage. BUT...we also started researching adoption, and began to narrow down the process.

YEAR 5

Year 5, this past year, has been full of EMOTION! We sent in our application to Adoption Advocates! We plowed through the paperwork and got on the waiting list at the end of February. Then the hard part began. The wait for the referral. The first few months were not that hard (probably because I was anticipating getting a referral in that time), but as time drug on, it got harder and harder.
We had some other memorable experiences in Year 5 - Cale began talking in sentences, he started potty training and got transitioned into his big boy bed...basically experiencing life in a new way. Oh, the joys of toddlerhood!
This past year, some of our immediate family members got married; and some had babies...But the highlight of Year 5 DEFINITELY was Nov 5th. Referral day!! :)
And it was the best way to wrap up our 5th year of marriage.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US! :)

TIM AND I THROUGH THE YEARS
2004. Sadly, I have no pictures on my computer of this year.
2005. The only pic that I have on the computer is of my immediate side of the family (before we had kids):

2006:
2007:
2008:
2009:
So that ends my 5 year post. And it took me about a year to write it. I seriously have been working on it all day...but I kept getting interrupted.
That's the way it goes on vacation. :)

Less-Words Wednesday

2009-11-25T18:19:00.000-08:00

I have seen people's blog posts entitled "Wordless Wednesdays," and I think it's cute.
They usually have 1 or 2 pics that make me go "Awe."
But, I'm the type of person who loves to read other people's captions of their own photos. See, for whatever reason I feel like the captions add so much...I like to see how people describe themselves, friends, relatives, children, surroundings, etc.
And this is what I think is lacking from 'Wordless Wednesday' posts.

SO...I'm switching it up.
I will still post pictures, but I'm going to use "less words" than I would normally add to my blog posts.

"THE CALL!" Well, it's actually a picture of the call AFTER the call. When I saw who it was the FIRST time, I almost panicked!
My plan was to take a picture of the call as it came in...I even wanted to have the call video-recorded, but none of that came to my mind when I saw who it was.
Anyway, this picture is proof. :) Nov 5, 2009 - 12:34 pm. (central time) ;)

Speaking of my boys, the above pictures embodies some of the things I love about them. Tim and Cale are so adorable when they get on the computer together. 9 times out of 10, they are watching YouTube videos...usually "Charlie bit my finger!" Yep, they watch the normal version, and the techno version.
They both think it's like the greatest video in the world.
And I think it's annoying...I hear it in my sleep! UGH!
But I do love to watch them bond. ;)

I know I've already expressed in detail how annoying it was that my camera broke, so I won't continue. My friend Patty allowed me to borrow her camera for a week so I could take some recent pictures.
The above picture is a rare family photo. Not the best quality, lighting, angle...etc...but it IS a picture of all 3 of us...all smiling nicely. :)
I seriously can't wait to see Megersa in our next family picture! (And it'll probably be until then that we have another family photo.)
Anyway, if everyone seems to like "Less-Words Wednesday" I'll try to keep it up!

Nov 24th

2009-11-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

Today is November 24! 2 weeks and 5 days since we saw our little guy's face! 3 days until our 5 year anniversay, and I THINK the day that Megersa is eligible for court!
I have some conflicting reports on whether or not Megersa is eligible yet. When I got the referral call, our agency coordinator told me that Megersa came into care Oct 5th, and that he wouldn't be eligible until Dec 5th (with the mandatory 2 month wait). But when I called to accept his referral (only a few days later) I was told by someone else that he would be eligible for court on Nov 24th, because his first intake report was Sept 24th (which it was...I saw that on his file).
But I dont know if the report was taken in the hospital where he spent a few days before coming to AAI, or actually at AAI. Does the mandatory 2 month wait start after his first intake report, or does it start on the first day he arrived at AAI?
AHHHHH!!
I can HONESTLY tell you that this is the first thing I've begun obsessing about since I got his referral. The Lord has helped me to be SO patient...with everything actually (and we currently have alot going on right now!).
This is my first re-lapse.
And I'm not sure why I'm so obsessed. It's just a few days difference, right?
I want to say "hey, it's only 11 days." And to be honest, PART of me is feeling that, but the other part, "Impatient Katie," is thinking: "11 whole days! That's almost 2 weeks difference!"
I'm trying not to give into her, but now I'm starting to feel what others are feeling:
the wait on this side of the referral is harder (though I don't COMPLETELY agree). Maybe it's because I KNOW that we are a family of 4, but visibly we are still only a family of 3...so I need to find out this answer!
I have written to both people I talked to, to see if I could get things straightened out. I will post when/if I find out for sure!

1 year

2009-11-19T06:50:00.000-08:00

Check out the adoption ticker on the side. It's been counting the days, weeks, months since we started our process. You will note that it has started over. Why? Because today marks 1 year since we 'officially' started the adoption process. I think adoption has always been on my heart, but exactly 1 year ago, we applied to our home study agency. 2 days later we applied to AAI.
It's been an unbelievable journey...full of emotion!
I've experienced the highest highs to the lowest lows, and truly, God has taught me ALOT!
I'd have to say the biggest lesson I've learned is PATIENCE! I know I'm not a patient person, so it makes sense that God continued to keep me in a situation that forced me to be patient. I'll have to admit, that I did not always perform beautifully, but I DO thank God for the lesson! I will never forget it, and I'm sure it will pop up again in life!
The other GIANT lesson I've learned is trust...and with that, not worrying!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. (Prov 3:5-6)
I generally have the hardest time with the 2nd part of that verse. I usually try to figure everything out on my own, only to figure out (way past the time I should have) that what I'm doing is not the deciding factor. God has been/is/always will be in control. I cannot change my situation, but I can respond positively to the trials I face. :)
Getting back to the year marker -
1 year ago, we started this process with one beautiful boy. This year we have 2 beautiful boys, and next year at this time, both boys will be here with us!
I truly can't wait to take that first family picture!! :)
God is good.

Welcome Bag

2009-11-16T18:40:00.000-08:00

That's Right! Today I sent out Megersa's welcome bag!
It was really fun to put together, yet so hard to think of just those FEW things that would fit. I chose to give Megersa one of Cale's outfits he barely wore. It was in good shape and it already smells like our family, so I figured, why not! :)
I also found this great toy. Like I said before, these days I feel dense as to what 2-3 month old babies are interested in. Anything that goes in their mouth, right? :) If you look at the pic, you can see the toy. The giraffe's face is smiling at you!
This giraffe is one of those Lamaze toys. Usually between $15-20, but because I found it thrown in a clearance bin with no tag, I got it for $2! It is brightly colored, and has jingly legs. It's got rings to bite and it squeaks! I hope Megersa likes it! :)
I also included a photo album with pictures of Tim, Cale and I.
Getting the photo album together was a process, let me tell you!
See, our camera broke. Yes, another camera. This time last year we had the same problem. Ooh, and this time the year before. Cameras and Katies just dont seem to want to remain together. After only a 5 month relationship, I had to break up with our Kodak Easy Share M683...because it stopped trying.
Anyway...I have pics on my computer, so I decided to order them via York photos (note: I would not recommend this site if you actually want your pictures in the amount of time they promise you.) I ordered them last Monday, and I was told via email (on Wednesday) that they were being shipped out, and should arrive Thursday.
Today is Monday, and still I have no York pictures! This was the last peice of the puzzle for the welcome bag, so...'impatient me' chose to go to Walmart today and order pictures that are most likely 6 months-1 year old. We look basically the same. My hair is shorter and I'm not sporting the blonde highlights anymore...but Tim hasn't really changed.
Cale has, but Megersa won't care, will you buddy?? :)
I just couldn't wait any longer to send his bag! So, I got the pics printed out, then labeled all of them. It was SO fun to write
"Your Mommy"
"Your Daddy"
"Your big brother Cale."
I also included a disposable camera (so that the nannies could take pictures of him) and wrote Megersa a letter (in the hopes that a volunteer or traveling family could read it to him), and that's about all.
Oh wait...the most special part (at least it was for me)!
See, even though I am 26, I have a favorite blanket.
A special blanket.
A blankie. :)
Yep. It's actually is suppose to be a duvet cover, but I use it as a sheet. For whatever reason, the idea came to me that I should cut off a peice and give it to Megersa. This may sound goofy to people, but it's like letting him know he has a peice of Mommy's heart! AWE! :)
He does though. I'd cut out a piece for Cale too if I didn't think he'd just give it right back to me (he's already attached to "purple blanket").
But yeah, it's queen sized, so there's still plenty left for me. If you look at the pics, you'll see a white thing with red scribbles. Well, the 'scribbles' are actually hearts. It looks like a child just scribbled hearts all over the blanket. I love it. Really, I sleep with it every night. I don't like sharing covers, so this way, I don't have to! I know, I know...I'm a child.
So, I cut out a square from my blanket and hand-stitched the ends. It should smell like me because I am the only one who is allowed to use it (sorry Tim), and I sprayed some of my perfume on it (so Megersa can get use to my smell).
Now my blanket has a peice missing, but I like it even more.
I wrapped it all up, and sent it out priority. Hopefully it gets there this week, and then the next traveling staff member or family can bring it to him.
End welcome bag post.

budgeting....

2009-11-15T20:56:00.000-08:00

So Tim and I started this new "system" to try to curb our spending. Instead of using our debit card for food and household items, I've been given a bi-weekly budget, in cash. When the cash is gone, it's gone until next pay period.
This is the first 2 week period we started it, and we'll make adjustments accordingly...and we'll NEED to. :)
Continue story:
While I started out this adventure thinking that the amount allotted to me would be no problem, I quickly came to the beginning of week 2 with less than $10 in hand.
As this is the night before pay day I can state that we are currently out of:
milk, eggs, bread, juice, crackers, fruit, cereal, meat... and many other "filler items" that we don't REALLY need, like snacks and desserts. :)
Thankfully we're going to the bank tomorrow and DIRECTLY after that, the grocery store to stock up! I love love love having a full fridge and pantry!
As this experiment has been kinda fun (to see how long we could go - and I think it's long enough! :), I was struck with the weight of this whole project. Though we are out of things, and we are waiting to cash Tim's check tomorrow, it's not like we CANNOT go to the store. If we needed to, we could move money around.
I thought about that freedom.
Coincidentally, Tim asked me what I was thinking about, and I told him that I was mentally preparing a grocery list.
No big deal, right?
Well, my thoughts continued to go from there. For dinner tonight Cale had the last of the rice crispies and milk. The fact that the milk was gone, just seemed so final. (We currently only have 3 people in our house and we go through at least a gallon of milk a week, sometimes more!)
I started thinking about Megersa. I don't know his birth mother's reason for giving him up, but I'd like to think it was because she was hoping that she was doing what she thought was best for him. Perhaps she couldn't provide for him. He was estimated to be about 3 weeks old or so in his first report, and I wonder if his birth mom kept him as long as she could provide milk for him.
I mentally put myself in her situation (as best I could)...and the thought of not being able to provide food or milk for my children TORE at me. It broke me, and I crumbled. I started bawling there in the car just as we were pulling in to church. (And if you know me, you know I'm not a crier.) I had to suck it up, and frantically wipe off my face before entering.
But I was having a hard time. See, I cannot even IMAGINE the heart-wrenching ache a mother would feel in the pit of her stomach to watch her baby crying from hunger. Then making the choice to give him. The poverty that would come with such a decision is devastating.
I have to admit that normally I'm the type of person that pretends the world is full of marshmallows and rainbows. I don't really like to watch the news, and I never watch violent movies (even war movies) because I like to think that those kinds of things don't happen. (Stupid yes, I know.)
But, falling in love with Mergersa has forced me to open my eyes up WIDE to situations that I could never imagine myself in. I stare at his little picture ALL day and I love him so much already. I couldn't even fathom having to give him up.

God has truly blessed me. Not just with food and clothing, but with my husband and 2 sons. Lord, with your help, I will NOT take what I have for granted.

I can't even stand it!!

2009-11-12T21:43:00.000-08:00

Megersa baby, you are JUST ADORABLE!!!!!!!
I have another picture and it only proves my point further!
I CANNOT EVEN STAND HOW CUTE HE IS!
I sooooo wish I could post pictures of him for all to see.
Don't worry folks, it should only be a few months longer!
Today marks 1 week of waiting for Megersa. The week has FLOWN by.
Every day I get more and more excited.
I got a new diaper bag from Freecycle.
My friend got me an Ergo baby carrier (great for bonding!) on Craigslist.
We took down Cale's crib, and moved the rocking chair into Megersa's room in preparation for his arrival. Note: Megersa's room still needs LOTS of work! :)
I've been putting together his welcome bag, and buying him warm outfits (for his impending arrival in early March, maybe??).
We got Megersa's paperwork in the mail today. We'll have to sign our name another hundred times, but this time, it's to state that we are going to be parents to Megersa Timothy Nester. It was surreal seeing his name on paper.
No, we're not giving him the middle name Timothy (Cale already has it, and we're not doing repeats). In Ethiopia, a child (boy or girl) will take the father's name as his/her 2nd name (not sure if it's considered a "last name" there. So on the file, it says that we agree to parent Megersa Timothy Nester...etc, etc. :)
It's all so very exciting! We'll send them back in the mail on Monday most likely, when we have his welcome bag ready.
On another note, I had another consultation with a different doctor to discuss Megersa's file. It was a phone interview, so it wasn't as thorough as perhaps it might be in person (but this specific consultation I was told would cost $93, which is why we chose another doc).
He seemed to be more concerned about what he saw in the file. We chatted for awhile about his concerns.
It did not sway our decision (nor was that what he was trying to do), but it IS getting me to pray HARDER for our little guy. I would covet prayers from everyone else as well! I'm not going to go into specifics, just please pray that any issues are resolved and that Megersa is 100% healthy by the time we pick him up!
It's a tall order considering where he's at in life right now, but our God is a BIG God!
Thank you to all who have been following our journey. It feels so wonderful to be able to share this experience!

WE ACCEPTED!

2009-11-09T11:18:00.000-08:00

I feel like each day gets BETTER! I love watching my ticker count up from the days we first saw his face, because it actually is counting DOWN the days until we can get him! Tim feels like the wait on his side is harder. Hm. Not me. I'm elated!
Today I met with an International Doctor to discuss Megersa's file and well...the long and the short of it is: it's a go! As with any international adoption there are always going to be some unanswered questions, but with what we know, he looks great. And that the things we are concerned about now, will most likely not be an in issue in time. Isn't that wonderful! Please continue to pray for his health.
God is soooo good and I know He's watching over my baby!

So for those of you who really appreciate how the "process works" (for me anyway), I will let you know what happens after you accept your referral:
I called and ________ answered. I told her who I was and that we were ready to accept Megersa's file! She sounded very excited (as if I just gave birth, lol!).
Before I even had to ask, she told me what to expect in the days/weeks/months ahead.
We will be getting the placement agreement via snail mail, to sign and return to AAI. They will simultaneously notify the staff in ET that we accept!!!!!
The staff in ET will prepare to merge our file with Megersa's! YEAH!!
(Hearing this was all so beautiful to me! It's like at 1:30pm on Monday, Nov 9, Megersa and I became a family (and of course, Tim and Cale too ;).
Okay, moment over. If I continue to type about the change that has happened in this baby's life in the past month, I will cry.
SO.....moving on.
_______ told me that Megersa's intake day was Sept 24, so he won't be eligible for court filing until November 24. That might sound bad, but I was originally told he came into care Oct 5, so we had our sights set on Dec 5.
Those few days can make a difference!
After he's eligible, she mentioned it'd be another 1-2 weeks till he's filed. I don't know if that means the court letter that everyone talks about, or something different, but either way, she said it should be the 1st or 2nd week of December when his case is filed?? (I think that's what I understood.)
I'm going to try to see if I can get that clarified.
Projected timeline from now:
Nov 24, eligible.
1st-2nd week December, filed.
From filing to court date, about 2-6 weeks.
From court date to travel, now about 6 weeks.
If we pass court, we will get scheduled for an Embassy Interview.
AAI's meetings are scheduled on Wednesdays...every other Wednesday.
And we will need to be in Ethiopia that week from Monday to Friday, as is required if we decide to travel (vs escort...which we will).

What else? Oh...I was told I would get instructions on putting together a welcome bag for Megersa (which I have already started!!!)...and that I should send it back to AAI and the next traveling staff member will take it over and take some pics of Megersa in his outfit!
I CAN'T WAIT!
I've been told that one of the staff members is coming back from ET as an escort for a baby girl soon, and should return to ET before Thanksgiving....so I need to put this bag together quickly and send it out asap!

do you see what i see?

2009-11-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

My baby boy is 2 months old.
It's been 2 years and 5 months since I had a 2 month old at home.
I kinda forget what they look like.
The pictures I have of Megersa are very 'up-close and personal'...which have been so helpful in memorizing his little face, but I really want a "body shot."
Because the pictures of him are just of his chest and face, he doesn't look that small, but yesterday I got re-aquainted with the size of 2 month old babies.
I went to a baby shower and one of the guests had a baby there...a 2 month old baby.
Then, I went to the store and the family in front of me at the checkout line had a baby boy in a stroller. I HAD to ask how old he was. I got the feeling, and I was right. "2 months old"
It's like when I was pregnant:
My eye was drawn to other pregnant ladies. I saw them EVERYWHERE!

2 months old is so tiny. 9.4 lbs is so LIGHT!
At the store I went looking through the baby clothes picking out things I thought would look cute on Megersa...then I'd look at the size...and notice it was '12 months' or '18 months'! I thought, MAN, I use to be so good at guessing!
So, I decided to deliberately look at the sizes and found something that was for an 8-12 lb baby. Sized, 0-3 months.
AWE! Sooooooooooo tiny!

Megersa, will you just stay 2 months old and 9.4lbs until Mommy can come get you? :)

((And just because I can't post a picture of my 2 month old baby boy, I'll post a picture of a 2 month old kitty! Look at his size compared to the orange! AWE!!!))

"The Call"

2009-11-07T07:29:00.001-08:00

How did it happen? When did it happen? Where did it happen?
Those questions and more will all be answered! I'll tell you the story:

ONCE UPON A TIME...
It was a sunny, November day...Thursday the 5th to be exact, at 1pm (11am Adoption Advocates time).
I had JUST walked upstairs after putting Cale down for a nap, and sat down on my favorite chair (the barstool at our kitchen countertop) to do some internet surfing while I ate lunch. Before I could even open up the computer, my phone rang.
Now let me tell you, NORMALLY before I even answer the phone, I can guess (pretty accurately I might say), who it is judging by what time of the day it is, or what day it is. But, this one took me by surprise. I figured it was Tim...but as my eyes gazed to my phone, I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was:
Adoption Advocates!!
My eyes BULGED - you know, like in the cartoons (ahhhooooga!) - and I picked it up.
"Hello?" I said timdily.
"Hello, is this Kathryn Nester?"
"Yes."
"This is __________ from Adoption Advocates, how are you doing?"
"Good, how are you?"
"Fine, thanks. I see that you liked to be called Katie?"
"Yes."
(At this point in time, I still cannot tell you why I was so timid when I continued to answer. Perhaps because I had been dreaming about that moment for so long, my brain was in shock and not giving my voice box the shrillness I figured would accompany such an event.) anyway...moving on.
"I have a few questions for you."
"Okay?"
Then she proceeded to ask me about my I600A and if I filed for it. Which I had. She told me that she wasn't seeing a copy of it, and it's important for the child's visa when they come home.
WHAT?? My brain was screaming!
I quickly pulled out my folder of files and grabbed the 171H (the paper you get after you are approved for the I600A) and asked if they wanted me to fax it over today, as I quietly hyperventilated.
"There's no rush...we just want to make sure families have this so there is no delay in bringing children home."
"Okay."
Really, at this point, I was having doubts that this was going to be "THE CALL" but thankfully, she continued to talk.
"I want to tell you about a baby boy!!"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...was all I could think!
She continued to tell me about my little man, where he was from and his background story, and she read his file to me. I interrupted.
"What's his name?" (again, I was so shy, it still kinda boggles my mind - as if this is an inappropriate question)
"Megersa"
:)
As she read through the rest of the file, I scribbled as much information as I could down on a scrap piece of paper lying on my countertop. She was going too fast!
I asked her to repeat some things for me.
"It's all in the file, which we will send to you, if you're interested?"
YES, YES, YES!
I had a few questions for her (but of course, now I can think of a hundred different things I want to know) and she answered.
Then she told me that she specifically remembered my baby the last time she was in Ethiopia.
"I remember standing over his crib with ____, commenting on how we hadn't heard the name Megersa in awhile."
It woke me up from my shock. He's THERE! She's seen him!
He's a REAL PERSON, and someday soon...he'll be home.
THE WEIGHT WAS LIFTED!
She told me that they would send the file asap. Then we hung up.

I called Tim at work.
Casually, to throw him off, I said "hey babe, what's up?"
"Not much, why?"
(then I got hysterical - it finally kicked in!)
WE GOT THE CALL!
Tim now, was in disbelief.
"No we didn't!"
"YES....his name is Megersa and he's 2 months old.....(etc)"
Tim still didn't believe me...but I told him to get on my Gmail account because we would be getting his file in the next few minutes.
We waited.
IT WAS TORTURE!
I think both of us hit the 'refresh' button, oh, 1000 times!
It was probably only 10 minutes, but finally, we got the file...and we saw his face!
(I TRULY wish I could his picture, but we can't until we pass court and are legally his parents!! :)
I must say, he is simply adorable!
Really...I can't stop looking at him.
I carry his picture around all day. We only have 2 pics, and that will probably have to hold us over for another month and a half, because no one seems to be traveling in November. BOO! Thankfully one of the 2 pictures was from that day.

Nov 5...referral day.

Believe me though, he's beautiful, and, to quote my friend Rachael:
"He looks like a million bucks!"
He does. He's perfect.
Anyway, we spent the REST (literally...I was on the phone all day - Cale got pretty perturbed I wasn't playing with him) of the day calling people and sharing our good news!
I couldn't stop smiling! And I was actually smiling so hard for so long, I had to take advil! haha!
I'm just so happy. Everything is better now.
People ask me how much longer till we travel and we say "probably another 4-6 months." They are usually really upset for us...but I say, NO! We've been in the process for 1 year, and it has been an uphill climb. We kept ADDING days to our wait, but now we can SUBTRACT! Counting down is SOOOOOOOOO much better than counting up (unless it's money, haha!).
THE HARDEST PART IS OVER!
I know some people dont feel that way, they think the wait is much more brutal after referral, but I disagree. The fact that I have a name, and a face, and some stats about my son is truly a gift. I can breathe deeply again.
To top it all off (as if this isn't wonderful enough)...my Cale seems enamored with "Baby Brother."
Megersa's picture is on the background of my computer and Cale gets upset when it's blocked by an email or anything.
"I wanna see baby brother!" It's just so cute.
He's totally butchering the name Megersa, but, let's face it...it IS a tough one.
Yesterday he was playing with my cell phone (which has his picture on the screen) and he told me he wants "Baby Brother on Mommy's pone."
I'm not naive to think that it wont be an adjustment for Cale, but I really think that next year, they'll be inseparable!

We have an appointment with an International Doctor on Monday to look over Megersa's file and after that we'll "officially accept"!!!
I will of course, be posting again soon!
Thank you so much to all of you who have prayed for us over the past few months! I know God has been using your strength because mine was often failing. I feel renewed and I praise God for this miracle!
Please continue praying for Megersa's health...there are some issues to consider, but we are confident that it's nothing we can't handle (with God's help, of course!)

THE END.

2009-11-06T21:58:00.000-08:00

DO WE HAVE GOOD NEWS?????
I think we might! ;)
I want to tell the story in full when we "officially" accept.

I will tell you that I am experiencing so much JOY that I think my heart might explode. The weight has been lifted!!!
Thank you Lord. You are so good to me, and I don't deserve it.

So, check back at the beginning of next week for the story!!

analogies

2009-11-04T13:38:00.001-08:00

Want to hear some adoption analogies I came up with?
#1 - ADOPTION IS LIKE:

A snail running a race.
Seriously...could you imagine suiting up...toeing the line with nervous excitement, taking off when the whistle blows, only to realize hours later (or months ;) that you're a SNAIL! You have put forth your best effort, and have been going strong for SO LONG, but, you're not getting anywhere! (or at least it seems that way!)
Being a snail at this point in time is not ideal...but you feel the compulsion to keep going. You're hoping to eventually get there!!!!

#2 - ADOPTION IS LIKE:

A rabbit that chases after the carrot strung in his face.
Again with the running. But, Paul exhorts us to "run the race with patience, the race that is set before us..." so the racing analogies are memorable, right? :)
Someone dangled this BEAUTIFUL carrot in front of the rabbit, and he wants it!
He has his eyes on the prize! I'm sure initially he thought if he kept his gaze focused enough, the frog would stop dangling the carrot, and eventually it would be his. Maybe he's losing confidence now? Maybe not. Each day brings a new set of emotions for him:
Determination to get the carrot.
Anxiety that the carrot may NEVER be his.
Hopefulness that if he continues strongly, he will be rewarded.
Hopelessness thinking this "experiment" will never end.
Sadness for the carrot, it WANTS to be his. :)
Patience to wait out the remainder of the race...........

#3 - Adoption causes a HEAVY heart.

It's so simple, but soooooo true. I feel like my chest is weighed down most of the time. When I pray, I really MEAN to pray about other things, but usually after a few minutes, I always always come back to my pleading prayer for this child.
The weight on my heart is astronomical. I need this burden lifted, soon, Lord!!
I think about this little boy CONSTANTLY. My mind teams up as I daydream of what it will be like to get "the call" and what it will be like to hold him for the first time....to introduce him to his brother, and show him off to friends and families...to feed him, and comfort him...(and the list goes on and on).
It's an INTENSE desire.

I bet I could think of many more. But I will stop with these 3.
You get the picture, right? :)
It will happen eventually.
I must BE STILL. Be still and know He is God.
My goal for these posts really are not to complain, but to show some true emotion as I take this journey. It is therapeutic, and I'm sure others can relate.

8

2009-10-31T17:51:00.000-07:00

Care to guess what this post is about?
Yep. I won a game of poker with this hand! Isn't that great? :)
NOT!! (by the way - I think we should bring "not" back!, haha)

We made it to the 8 month waiting mark...almost 12 months overall. It's getting very very hard. We're so close to the top (at number 2 on the list), but I can't get my hopes up, because we only moved up one spot in one month. We could get our referral in a few days, or it could be a few more months. There are no solids at this point. I dont have much else to say about it. I could tell you exactly what I found out at our check-in, but...I'm not even sure who reads this anymore. ANYWAY. Trick or treating was fun with Cale today. It was pretty chilly, so I dressed him in a long sleeved shirt and a fleece jacket underneath his spiderman costume...he looked a little bulky, though he didn't seem to mind. It reminds me though of Jerry Seinfeld's stand up rountine about Halloween though - it's hilarious! :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M523VCKvCVo

7 1/2+

2009-10-14T16:30:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, it's been over 7 1/2 months of us just WAITING. We're coming up on our year mark in about a month or so. After we announced we were adopting we've had friends tell us they were pregnant, and have had their babies already. It's just craziness. I was really feeling hopeful that October was our month, but now that we're hitting the halfway mark, I'm starting to lose that hope.
We've been told that there are MANY many toddlers waiting, but that doesn't really affect us, since they consider "toddlers" to be 2,3, and 4 year-olds.
We're planning to visit family for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I just can't face another family function without any news of our baby! It's TORTURE! I soooo want to have good news to share!
Prayerfully, we will!

Mr. Cale

2009-10-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

Lets have some fun. Adoption aside, let's talk about Cale.
Here are some things about him you may or may not know about him:
1. He is OBSESSED with plugs. Plugs, ipods, dvd players, fans, wires, etc...anything electronic, you name it...he LOVES it. We have a gigantic playroom filled with all kinds of toys, but what do we find him doing? Carrying around an old ipod that does work, and some earphones that only have 1 functioning ear like a security blanket. It's bizarre! It may be too early to predict, but I think we have a mechanical engineer on our hands. :)
Sure, I took these pictures today, but it's indicative of the everyday occurrences.I actually took this one first but he couldn't even look up to say "cheese" because he was engrossed in the plugging of the plugs.
2. He has no problem when I drop him off at the nursery. Outside of our own church nursery, I do childcare for 2 big churches, and Cale is in a separate classroom from me; but even without knowing the kids, the teachers, or being familiar with the room, he marches right in and doesn't look back. Sometimes when I come to pick him up he tells me he's not ready to go home yet. There are good and bad points to this of course....the good: I don't have to drop off a weepy, screaming mess, and he always gets good reports from anyone who watches him. The bad: I don't think he has developed "stranger danger" yet.
3. I don't think he looks like either one of us. I mean, sure...the blonde hair and blue eyes lend people to think that he looks more like Tim, but really, I don't know. Tim's eyes are much lighter and his hair is much darker. Cale has Tim's ears...that's definitely all Tim!! His size though he gets from my side of the family. My largest uncle is over 300lbs and is 6ft 5in. The rest of the men in my family are various degrees of huge as well.
I mean, look at the stats:
Birth - 7 lbs (and 3 1/2 weeks early, at that!)
2 months - 14 lbs
5 months - 21 lbs
1 year - 27 lbs
2 years - 36 lbs, 3 ft
2 1/2 - well, i don't know yet. He just turned 2 1/2 today!! :)
I'm sure the measurements are monstrous though!
I actually did a little predictor of Cale's height (something on babycenter.com), and at age 18 he's suppose to be like 6ft 2in. CRAZY!!
Anyway, here is a family pic of us taken in June. You tell me who he looks like.

4. His hair is INEXPLICABLE!!! I mean it...and if you've seen him, you know! It doesn't lay down. It doesn't grow down, it grows OUT. I mean, it's insanity. He looks like he has been sticking his fingers in those plugs (which he hasn't...they are plugged up...I am a responsible parent). When we go out in public, that's the first thing that people comment on. "Whoa, nice hair!" chuckle, chuckle. Yeah, yeah. Why not buzz it? Well, he sported that look for the summer, but we're trying to see if it'll lay down if it had some weight to it...and it's much colder now.
Yes, he looks hilarious...I found it very amusing to draw on his face with chalk, and he let me, so why not? :)...but, note the hair:

I feel like I know what you're thinking: put some gel in it, or hairspray, ANYTHING! Well, I must tell you I've tried it all...gel, hairspray, wax, mousse, even baby oil (I AM a hairdresser people...product was the FIRST thing I thought about).
He's still cute though, right? :)

5. Lastly (and I'm choosing this to be last...I really could go on forever!...perhaps on another blog post), he is LOUD. I mean it...he has 2 volumes: off and LOUD. There is nothing in between. We've tried to teach him to whisper, but lets just say it's wasted effort.
I mean, folks, he's doing it right now. He's sitting across from me, shirtless, with an empty Airwick air freshener and he's yelling "I FOUND BIG PLUG MOMMY...MY PLUG IT IN?" He says "my" instead of "I"..."my mow the lawn," "my take a shower," "my sit there!" It goes on and on.
Ahhh....that's my guy. Well...one of them. I will soon have 3 guys and I LOVE IT!!

convos with the boss

2009-09-30T11:09:00.001-07:00

i found a new tactic to talk with the adoption "boss."
one-liners.
how bout that? i usually go into wonderful detail with bullet points and expressive questions, but i get general one-lined responses. occasionally there will be a flicker of information i don't already know, but most of the time, it's not NEW news to me.
i usually feel unsatisfied about it, and just try to encourage my friends to ask the questions i want to know at their next check-in, on the off chance that they get more info.
BUT, i decided to go ahead and write back my question. no big post with my dte date and full name. no flattering words before hand (though they are true). just the question. and wouldn't you know it? i get answers!

example:
my original post requesting information at 7 months:

Hi!
Welcome back! I hope your visit to Thailand was good.
I'm writing in for my 7 month check. We are on the list for an infant boy with a DTE of 2.27.09.
I understand that a few referrals went out recently to families with Feb dossier dates. Do you happen to know what DTE date is next up for a referral?
Is it possible to guess how long the wait would be for me (assuming, by subtraction that we are now number 3 on the list)?
Do you know if babies are coming into care daily? or weekly?
Any chance you can share specifics (boys/girls/toddlers?)
Again, I know you just got back, so please don't feel obligated to make this email response a priority. I am trusting that things will happen soon enough.
Thanks again for any answers you can give!
Katie Nester
DTE 2.27.09
b/g 0-18 months

the response:
Actually there were several dossiers sent on Feb 27. When that happens we look at the date the family applied to AAI and the one that applied first gets the first referral, all things being equal. So, it looks like there are still a couple of families ahead of you.

okay, i knew that. i have been told on more than one occasion that there was another 2.27 DTE for a boy (and because they applied first, they'll go before me).

my curiosity peeked. i changed my tactic: (insert one-liners)
Does this mean that Feb 27th is the next dossier date for infant boys??

the response:
Yes, but as I explained, you will not get the baby because others whose applications were filed before your will be considered first. It shouldn’t be long though.

AWESOME! i have been beyond curious to see what DTE they were on, and only half-expected to get a general response (ie: beg of Feb, middle of Feb, end of Feb, etc) So this was GREAT NEWS! we are 2.27!! i mean, it can't get any closer than that!!

of course, i should be satisfied with that response and just hold my breath for the next few weeks, but i thought, hey...why not one more TINY question:
Any chance of referrals going out before you leave (for the people ahead of me)?

the response:
Nope, I am out the door in about 10 minutes. *S* can give referrals if complete files are available while I am gone, though.

hey, it was a good try right? at least i know when she gets back from Ethiopia, my friend has a DTE check-in; and i have passed along my awesome knowledge of the one-liners to her. i'm certain she will get more info! and you never know - maybe the boss will come back with armloads of files for us all!!

lucky number 7

2009-09-26T12:34:00.000-07:00

tomorrow marks our 7 month wait. it's gotta be this month, right? LUCKY NUMBER 7?!
i've gotta say...i'm nervous about posting my update.
it feels like when i post about moving UP the list, something quickly happens, and i move DOWN the list.
so, i wont say anything. but you can guess.
you want to? okay!
do i have good news?
yes.
did i get a referral?
no.
have ANY infant/toddler boy referrals gone out?
perhaps.
how many? one?
um.
two?
maybe.... :)
so what number am i now?
you'll have to figure it out for yourself judging by my past posts.
i don't want to jinx myself!

i was told that i was "right at the top of the list." that does not mean i am next of course, but i was told we should be getting our referral in october!
i'm praying for a great birthday present for tim (oct. 12), or at least not to have to call in for an 8 month check.
join me, wont you?

one step forward...two steps back.

2009-09-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

well...for me it's actually 2 steps forward, one step back.
last month at our check-in we were told that we were number 6 on the list.
2 referrals went out in the past 2 weeks, so, by simple subtraction we should be number 4 now.
WELL, just recently someone with a february DTE decided to change their preference from a girl to a boy, so that bumps us back. they will now get the next boy referral. apparently they have been waiting on the girl list for 10 months (and the average wait is 10-12 months), but now say that they are "tired of waiting for a girl and are now okay with a boy."
well, that touches your heart doesn't it? it's like saying "10 months is all i'll wait for a girl, and then, we want a boy.
it's just weird. tim and i thought very long and hard about what would be best for our family, and didn't choose the gender based solely on the waiting list.
oh well! God knew this would happen, and He is factoring this in to the perfect child for us. soon enough.
meanwhile, i've met another mom who is adopting a waiting child from china, and i must say, i don't know if ALL adoptive moms are like this, but i just feel so DRAWN to others who are adopting. she's really close to bringing her baby home, and that is AWESOME! i think i'd really like to adopt from china when i turn 30.
i STILL can't believe you have to be 30. what's with that qualification? are we better parents at 30 (or 33-34? because it takes 3-4 years!).
only time will tell what we will do for our next adoption. until then, i will keep researching and praying for all of our future kids!

movin' on up.

2009-09-10T21:14:00.000-07:00

PEOPLE ARE GETTING REFERRALS! That is such WONDERFUL news to my heart! Even though it's not me who has one yet, and it doesn't even mean I'm next on the list, but at least we are seeing the list MOVE!! I'm getting all jittery! I'm now number 5! That's not bad at all! Oh Jace baby, I'll be soooooooooooooooo excited to finally see your face!
What a glorious day! Praise the Lord for this great news! Just when I was feeling really low again, the Lord reminded me that HE is in control, and that He is still working! I'm trusting that God will give us our little man when the timing is perfect for us.
Thank you Lord!

we're at number 6

2009-08-26T12:32:00.001-07:00

six months. we're still waiting.
okay, i won't get into how depressing it is to still be in the same position we have been for months, (i'm sure you can sense the mood ;)
so i'll tell you about our 6 month check-in.
i called one of our agency directors and she told me that they are giving referrals to families with their dossiers in mid-feb (which i knew). she said there were many families in feb (which i knew), some waiting for sibs, some waiting for girls and others for boys. it seemed like she was mentioning many families, but when i asked her the number, she totaled 10. after a LITTLE bit of coaxing, to which she stated isn't always definite (because the list is "fluid"), i am number 6.
hm...it seems weird to me that i'm number six, because i feel like i was number 6, like 1-2 months ago. perhaps many people are switching from a girl request to a boy.
anyway, she said that she thinks i have another 1, possibly 2 months left.
i emailed our agency director (another women), who had recently been in Ethiopia with this inquiry:
Hi,
I wanted to write in for my 6 month update. ((DTE 2.27.09 b/g)) I understand that referrals for baby boys are now going to February families. Would it be possible to know how many families are waiting in line in front of me? Am I nearing the top of the list yet? Hopefully soon! Would it be a safe bet to anticipate a referral in a month or so or is that too ambitious?
Also, one more question for you:
You mentioned (as well as traveling families) that there are many new baby girls coming into care, but could you tell me if there are any new baby boys?
Any infowould of corse, be much appreciated!
and her response:
Yes, we do have some new baby boys in care. It is not likely that yours is at Layla yet, but it won’t be long. There are still 4 to 6 families ahead of you but as I say, more babies are arriving and we should be calling you this fall.
that's all the info i have. i'd love it i had more to share, but i can't be grasping at straws anymore, it doesn't get me anywhere.
here's to a busy fall that'll get me through another month or two of waiting!

beastly

2009-08-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

yes, it's BEASTLY...beastly hot.
doesn't that phrase just say it all?
this past weekend's weather has been like a beast.
an uninvited guest.
now, i should start this post off by saying that i am SO grateful that we have a house...I AM! and that i ADORE this house, but if there was one thing, in this moment i would fix, well, that would be our air conditioning.
we were told when we moved in last september that the air conditioning and heating system worked fine. well, not having to use the air, we took it as fact. i guess i should have suspected something may not be correct with the whole system when we had to up and get a new furnace last winter...but we didn't really get around to trying the air.
this summer has been fairly cool, and we are trying to save money, so we haven't used the air, and up until this past week (where i've had to walk around in my underwear)i hadn't been dying for it. but i'd love some cool air now.
apparently the compressor or something doesn't work correctly, and it'd be like $2000 to fix? no can do.
guess what? i can honestly say...i miss winter. it's totally true. i love the 4 seasons and right now i be so happy for a chilly day where we need to stay inside and bundle up.
ahhh. perhaps if i imagine it, snow will appear to cool down the house.
wait for it...wait for it...........................
nope. still hot.
you know, i didn't grow up with air conditioning, and we only had central air in but one of our 4 previous rental places, so i should be used to it. and i normally am, but the beast is out this week. tim has noticed that i'm not-so-pleasant when i'm hot. i actually have to agree with him. i didn't it was true, but yesterday after we came home from church and were just sitting around in front of the fan, i was not a big fan of anything, but as soon as we got into the car with the cool air blasting on my face, my mood instantly lifted! haha. what do you know?
oh man, i think of my poor baby (if he's born yet) in ET. is he a sweaty little mess like his big brother cale? i wonder if it's that hot over there right now? i'm sure it gets beastly hot over there too. poor guy.
cale sweats like a full-grown man. he's a stinky little thing. he even has a buzz cut for the summer, but still...even walking around in his diaper he's dripping sweat. i wonder if this weather has started his obsession with fans? you know, he can play with a fan for hours. and i dont mean that he sticks his fingers in them or anything (i'm watching him), but all day long he turns them off and on "fan off? fan on? fan on low. fan on high. big fan, little fan"...etc)
what would we do without fans? i know my mom says fans just "blow the hot air around" but i think they're a Godsend for days like this. we all 3 sleep with them year round, but that's mainly for the noise. i can't imagine if one broke! i know i'd instantly go out and get another.
funny story. i went to a garage sale with cale. a bunch of assorted stuff, and while there were other little kiddies there playing with toys, my son spotted something gray. a little box fan the size of a cheeze it box (one of my favs). he grabbed it as if it was the toy of the century, and tried to march out to our car with it. when i told him we didn't need a fan...whoa! he was not happy! what a crazy little man! i must say, if i had the extra cash i probably would have gotten it for him, but we really dont NEED another fan right now. i think we have at least 4.
well, i'm going to close. what a random post. i guess while we're waiting for our referral (and no new news is coming our way), you'll be reading alot more blog posts about randomness.
that's it. a blog about the ugly weather.

get off the pot...

2009-08-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

...the pity pot.
i have been sitting on it for quite some time, and must be completely honest in saying that i haven't (until now) noticed that perhaps it was affecting other people negatively. this blog has been my outlet for my grumblings, so that in real life i would remain a "normal" person, but i in no way intended it to be a soley a source of negative feelings. as i read over my posts, i look at them as whitty and sarcastic (of which i am both on a regular basis...lol) BUT i've failed to notice that my posts might actually be biting to others who are experiencing joy in their adoption processes. not that i'm not, it's just hard.
it was a really tough thing too when i was trying to get pregnant. i have fertility issues, so it was difficult for me to see others who were able to get pregnant without any problems. that may sound like a bizarre comparison, but it really has been how i've equated my behavior.
it's not like i'm not happy for others, it's just that i've been having a hard time showing it.
so here it is folks...i'm going to get off. and flush.
flush away the negative feelings towards our wait and the jealousy i've unjustly felt toward others whose process was perhaps, smoother or less stressful financially.
my charming husband challenged our congregation with a wonderful message today about following Christ's example.
the last point is really what got to me.
the thought is based on understanding that God gives us what we have. He CHOOSES who gets more wealth, fame, fortune, looks, etc. he chooses our (man-made) "luckiness" and who are we to question why? that struck me today as a revelation. thinking to myself, why would i ever complain about my situation? i have no right to! God has been wonderful to me and my family, and i need to start "rejoicing with those who rejoice!"
though i won't go back and erase all the posts i wrote that sound bitter, i will say that through this adoption experience (even blogging) i've been taught so much about myself and been forced to grow in ways i didn't think possible.

so, to end this, i must say congrats to all who have gotten referrals, congrats to those who've passed court recently, and a HUGE congrats to those who will get to travel soon.

one last thing. i'm going to need help with this. since it seems as though there are alot of people who read this blog (which is awesome!), please let me know if i'm straying back to my 'cynical' attitude. i have a tendency to do that, so i'd love (well, not exactly LOVE), but i need to be called out on it. THANKS!

a mad woman

2009-08-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

alright...i'm not sure what has come over me in the past few days or so, but i have been cleaning/rearranging/organizing/decluttering like a MAD WOMAN! i'm not sure if i decided one day to FINALLY put away something when i saw it, instead of just looking at it, but it has set off an organization bomb in my house! check out the things i've accomplished in the past 3 days:
~went through all my recipes and threw out ones i didn't like/use, and orgainzed the ones i had into categories.
~organized ALL my pictures into photo albums (yes...i've had a gigantic tub of pictures just sitting around for YEARS...i mean it, years! i kept holding on to them because i thought i'd one day i'd get bitten by the creative bug and would want to do some scrapbooking, but who am i kidding?!) i've had seriously like 6 -8 empty photo albums just sitting around waiting to have pictures in them, so i finally did it! i'm shocked! it only took me a whole day! haha. actually, it was a fun trip down memory lane.
~went through ALL of cale's old baby clothes and organized them in tubs labeled with the sizes and the seasons that he wore them. there are now like 8 tubs full. okay, i had MOST of the clothes thrown in tubs already, but they were not organized, and they certaintly were not orderly. now they are, and i'm very excited to have another boy. looking at some of those clothes i'd NEVER believe cale fit into them if i hadn't previously seen pictures...haha!
~de-cluttered our table, counters and bookshelves which was a GIGANTIC feat, let me tell you. you wouldn't think that it would be hard to just do it, but i was having such a hard time getting started. i took the leap though, and it's sooo much more stress-free! (alas, it's an every day battle, but at least now i'm winning!)
~dishes...i do them when they are there. honest! there hasn't been a load backed up in days!
~i painted a little mural of 2 elephants in our baby's room. yes. i've decided to get it ready. there's no point in "waiting" until the perfect time, because i NEED to see some evidence that the room will be filled someday with my chocolate man. i've also taken out cale's old curtains, washed, ironed and hung them up. (that room still needs LOTS of help. it's definitely the room everything gets thrown into.) when we get our referral, the room will be ready!
~FINALLY bought curtains that actually fit the windows in our room, and moved the "too-small" curtains downstairs where they look LOVELY! yes. this is a project i started 1 year ago. it's truely embarressing to look and see the way we've been living. ;)
~bought shower drain hair catchers. yes...another small thing that i've wanted to do for so long! and lets be honest, it's not like they're expensive! less than $2 a peice. saves me SO much time in the shower, because i know my hair will be caught, and saves us $$$ because we shouldn't have to buy drano anymore!!
~made cookies. and TONS of them. now, i haven't necessarily been waiting for any specific time to do this, but because i was inspired by going through old recipes i hadn't seen in awhile, i just got going. i started with a double batch of banana bread, and then went on to the cookies, and i'm having a hard time stopping. i've made chocolate sugar cookies, ginger cookies, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, and today, peanut butter cookies. it's INSANE! it's like a cookie world here!! thank goodness for a big freezer.
~re-arranged cale's room to make things fit better. again, something that just came to me as i was planning out where things will go when we get him out of a crib (our goal is by Labor Day - which should be okay because last night he slept in his "big boy bed" until 5am)...motivated by finally organizing the baby's room.
~organized our downstairs closet. that was a hot mess! things were just thrown in there. i can't imagine how i remembered where anything was on a given basis. now it is much better. NOT the best. i would certaintly love some extra cash flow to get some better organization, but for now, it's workable.

how? why? where did you get the time?
well, i'm going to be COMPLETELY honest and tell you why i THINK this all has transpired. i've truly been inspired after going to LIFT camp with Tim (and the teens) this summer. The speakers are always so so wonderful. This year they had a guy who just flat-out, told us how to grow in your spiritual walk with the Lord. I've ALWAYS ALWAYS heard to do it, and i very much wanted to...but i lacked the proper instruction. i think i was spending too much time making myself feel bad for the certain amount of time spent, or passages read, etc. This guy, who i'll now always remember just said that he chose a time during the day, locked himself in his room and spent time with the Lord for at least 1/2 hour. his time was at 9pm. he said to do 5 things in this order:
PRAY, READ, THINK, WRITE, DO.
that's totally do-able, and it made so much sense. it didn't have to be a chapter here, or a book there, but that we were praying to be taught something that day. it could be one verse even!
my time is 2pm, this gives me adequate time to put cale down and "relax" while he falls asleep. at 2, he is usually asleep and it still gives me plenty of time afterwards to do things.
i have to say, i haven't done it every day. if i miss my 2pm appointment, i often times do a 10 or 11pm (same sort of reason).
with that, i've felt like God is really showing me things, when i let him.
it's really sad to say, but i've been WASTING so much time on my email, waiting/hoping for news, and trying to pass the time with stupid things like games on the Xbox or watching shows i had recorded...things that alot of times, i've already seen.
i feel so much more accomplished and encouraged these days! i hope it continues. i know there won't be a lack of things to do. i have an every-day growing list of things i'd love to see done. many of these things need to wait because of finances, but i can do the others until that time.
so...i write this as inspiration. get busy doing something. you'll feel great!

DO NOT PASS GO...

2009-07-30T16:27:00.001-07:00

...DO NOT COLLECT $200,
DO NOT TRY TO GO TO THE MOVIES WITH YOUR 2 YEAR OLD.
At least if his name is Cale.
All adoption stuff aside, I thought I'd share a little story about trying to see a theater movie with Cale.
A Tale about Mr. Cale, if you will.

You know, ever since I noticed the advertisement of $1 movies on the poster in the Charlestown theater (near our house), I've wanted to try it out. I figured $1 was okay to waste if for some reason Cale didn't cooroperate and stay entertained the whole time. And he didn't.
I invited my friend with her 3 kids, and they all sat nicely, but Cale was NOT carved out to sit and be still watching tv. Perhaps if they were REAL animals, he would be more interested, but he has never been a really big fan of TV. He watches an occasional show, but his attention span for it is about 20-30 minutes. And that's about all we stayed.
I personally thought his behavior wasn't too out of the realm of those there (it was mainly small children and busloads of day care kids)...but he wanted to say "hi" to everyone, and point out things he saw on the screen, and oh, he hated the seats because they didn't stay straight. At any rate, we had a whole isle marked off (there were 6 of us and then a bunch of our youth group kids), but a middle-aged women was sitting next to us, (by herself...weird, I know) when I got back from getting popcorn. She was NOT happy to be sitting next to Cale (and by way of him, me). I didn't allow him to get past me to her, and he didn't even try to talk to her, yet she continued to huff and sigh throughout the short time we were there. My friend Patty seemed very concerned with Cale holding on to the seats in front of him, but what was I suppose to do? I tried to get him to sit on my lap, I bribed him with popcorn/candy, but no...he didn't want to be tied down. OH WELL.
A good try I guess. I told Tim about it, and we agreed that Cale just has ALOT of energy. He really needs an outlet for it EVERY DAY! We recently bought a trampoline and it is an excellent choice. Cale can just jump and jump forever. It really helps wear him down. The trampoline is fun for me too! :) Good exercise.
So, note this with the rest of our kids to come - Cale was not ready for the movie experience at 2 years, 3 months. Maybe in a year or so, we'll see.
END OF TALE. ;)

crying over spilled milk

2009-07-28T16:34:00.000-07:00

Ever heard the expression, "Don't cry over spilled milk"?
Of course you have...everyone has.
Well, today the phrase took on a whole new meaning!
My beloved 2 year old son, Cale, is going through a phase where he is very aware of his possessions, and the difference between a "whole" item, and one that is not.
Ie: A whole glass of milk (actually, for him it's half) a whole twizzler, a whole sandwich...you get the picture.
So, I guess because of the pride he feels in his "whole" item, he gets DEVASTATED when his item breaks, pulls apart, or in this case...spills.
Tonight I gave him a glass of milk with supper, and because he was very eager to have it, he started drinking it too fast and yes, it spilled. Tragic, right?
For him, it was. When he noticed it dripping down his chin he immediately yelled "OH NO!" and then proceeded to cry. As I noticed the milk dripping on the floor, I contemplated on why this was such a big deal for him, when I'm the one who would have to clean up the mess!! And what a big fuss over something so small! But then I realized that he probably feels like it WAS a big deal. He's not going to get that milk back, and there's nothing he can do about it. I shouldn't judge him.
Each month I check in with less enthusiam. I should be pumped, thinking we are that much closer, but I think I'm getting more and more lost in this process each time I call.
I await news of my new baby...but there is no news. At my 2 month check in I was told 1-3 more months. I remember thinking, "surely not 3 more!!" and now, checking in at month #5, I was told I still have MONTHS left. Yes, months!! It's very upsetting.
Other people have given me advice as they look at MY spilled-milk world...and I can tell that they think a few more months may not be a big deal. Good for them, but I still may "cry about it".
Boo-hoo. So, there. ;)

what now?

2009-07-17T21:14:00.000-07:00

Well, obviously, July 15th has come and gone. We have no referral, so like many others, we will owe an extra $2000 as an increase to the Ethiopian fee. Please continue to pray for us as we raise/save money. With the extra amount due, we are set back a severe amount of our savings.
I'm not gonna say ALL of it, but yeah, pretty much all of it.
Total bummer. :(
We've also heard that because all healthy babies in care were referred, it'll still be months before we hear anything. Even though we're like number 5 in line.
Yes, MONTHS.
So, I feel as though, for the sake of my sanity, I must distance myself from all excitable things that would lead me to false hope; by this I mean checking my email 5 times a day in the hopes that someone announced a referral, moving us up on the list, or conspiring how to get "more information" on the 'goings-on' of the adoption front...maybe even blogging. Maybe.
I know now that getting your hopes up is fun, but the aftermath is, not so much.
So, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my summer, (without dwelling too much on how the process has changed since I first applied); and PRAYERFULLY by the time the fall rolls around I'll have a new, refreshing outlook on the wait. Maybe. :)
All joking aside, I know it will happen in God's timing. And if I've learned ANYTHING in this process, it's to trust God.
I read this somewhere: "If the door is shut, don't put your shoulder to it. Wait until God takes out the key and opens it." That should be the adoption motto.

the name of the game

2009-07-06T21:37:00.000-07:00

Wanna play a game?
Yes? you do? Great!
What's it called?
"WAIT"
...It's the Waiting Game. Sound like fun?
NO? Well, I'll explain the rules to you, and perhaps it'll change your mind. ;)

Well, for starters, there are 5 different colored players, each with a significant meaning:
You can be -
Yellow for "Happiness"
Red for "Love"
Purple for "Anxiety"
Green for "Jealousy"
or
Gray for "the Unknown"
So, pick your piece. Got one? Good!

Now, the rules:
You start off by putting together a puzzle. It might take you awhile, but when you're done, hand it in.
Then wait.
Okay, now you can pick up ONE card at various intervals in the game, but you can't do anything with them until it is your turn again.
Just wait.
"When IS your turn?"
Well, it varies from person to person.
You must wait.
"How long did everyone else have to wait? Can you ask them, so you can figure out when it's your turn?"
Sure!!
But it won't really affect your wait.
What happens after the wait?
I'm not sure. I think someone will let us know it's your turn,
and then I think it's more waiting.
I can't be entirely certain though. You see, I, myself haven't gotten that far in the game...It's not my turn yet.
What?? You think this game is hard?
I agree completely, but I'm glad you're keeping me company. :)

news.

2009-06-30T20:15:00.000-07:00

To quote a fellow blogger friend, "I have news...it's not THE news, but adoption news, nonetheless."
Okay, the news -
I wrote to our Director for my 4 month check-in. I have also called AAI, but I have yet to hear anything back. And since I feel like it's easier to 'copy and paste' then to recap the things that have transpired, that's what I'll do.

ME:
Hello.
I'm writing in for my 4 month update. I know you're on vacation, so dont feel like you need to respond until you get back. My questions remain the same from the last month.
Is it likely that I will receive a referral for an infant boy before the July 15 fee increase?
Am I near the top of the list?
I understand that referrals are going out to the last 2 DTEs in January, and that February was a busy month. Are there many families before mine waiting for a boy? Many like 10? or 5?
I know the severity of the conditions in Ethiopia, and we are praying for rain for them (among other things). I also pray that court dates and referrals can continue because of it.
Any information you could give me at this point would be greatly appreciated.

On a side note, I just finished reading "there is no me without you" and I must say that I felt a huge swell of pride when your name and AAI's reputation was mentioned. I know people recommended the book, but I didn't know exactly why. I want to tell you that it is wonderful to be working with you...a notary in that book, and it really makes me trust AAI and their love for the children.
Hope your resting well and I look forward to hearing from you when you are back.

HER:
Hi. It could go either way in terms of a referral for you before the middle of July. We will be offering every baby in the nursery, even if we don't have a complete file--so think about accepting a baby without a complete history. Of course if the file is not complete and a family changes their mind later due to information that was previously unknown, it is OK, we would just make another referral. I don't know how many babies are in the nursery now.

ME:
Hello again,
With regards to the information you gave yesterday, would you be able to clarify something for me?
You mentioned that every baby in the nursery will be offered, regardless of completed files.
Does this mean every baby that is in care as of now, or up until July 15 (regardless of how long they've been there)?
Also, what kinds of things would be left out of a file...is it mainly medical information?
And because I am unfamiliar with the referral process, I have another question about how the process will work for families to get referrals before files are completed.
Am I correct in guessing that AAI will get basic information on each baby, and then make referrals, sharing completed information when it becomes available?
Thanks for answering my questions. We are definitely open to accepting a referral before the files are complete, if given the opportunity.

HER:
Katie, the details are not worked out yet, but I want folks to know that we are not going to hold back referring any babies in order to get a higher fee by referring after July 15.

So, what do you think? Is it a possibility? I am trying not to buy into the hype, but it's hard not to. If they are only 12 families in February (as we were told by a fellow OAEG friend who called for her update last week). Boys and girls. It looks as thought there are at least 4 families waiting for girls that we know of (and by that I mean that they posted their time line on the big AAI board). So that leaves at the very most 8 families waiting for a boy. Again, I can tell you that the fluid and the numbers don't always mean anything because people are requesting siblings, or girls and then may switch to an infant boy, etc. But...on the OPTIMISTIC side, 8 is not a lot right? There's gotta be at least 8 little baby boys/toddlers without a family over there, right??????????
I want to say yes.
Yes!!! And before you know it, I will be the Mommy of one of them. :)

confronting the monster

2009-06-22T13:30:00.000-07:00

I have a pet, and his name is Jealousy. I dont care much for him, but he won't run away no matter how much I try to ignore him and make him feel unwanted. He's a pest and unfortunately grows no matter what kind of garbage I give him. Jealousy finds food even when I try to hide him away. I'm trying to teach him to obey...to be a good pet, and listen when I say "stop!" or "no!" but it is very difficult. I'm hoping in time he can be trained. I feel frustrated with Jealousy, but I also feel bad for him because he doesn't understand why he must not act this way.

Okay, Jealousy the Pet doesn't exist, but sometimes I wish it did so I could make excuses for it's behavior.
Have you ever felt happy for someone and upset for you at the same time?

Here's me. A little girl, obviously happy for her auntie or whoever it is, but jealous of her man's congratualtory kiss!

I'm so incredibly happy for some of my friends...I have one who just came home with her baby. HOME...with baby! Since I don't even have a referral, I can't really even picture it. Another friend, 2 months ahead of me, had her referral in less than 4 months, and about 3 months later is at court. She may be traveling in a few weeks! I hope to get a picture of our baby in a few weeks. There are others who I dont know well, who have referrals in 3 months and a few days. I remember thinking before my 3 month check in that I was SO CLOSE! Now, staring into the business end of our 4 month phone call, I am nervous of what I will hear.
This may make me seem like a bad person, but I really AM happy for these people.

When I was smack in the HUGENESS of pregnancy, I remember feeling jealous when people gave birth to their babies. I counted the days I had left, so anxious to be done and to have him.
But when I got to hold Cale for the first time, after the long pregnancy, and the painful C-section, I thought, how could I have complained? He is the most beautiful little baby I've ever seen, and INSTANTLY my trials turned into joy.
I know at the end of this process I will think and feel the same way.
Until then though, the Lord is going to have to get me through! And I know He will. Here are some awesome verses I found on the topic:
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride (Ec. 7:8).
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the body (Pr. 14:30).
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice (Js. 3:16).
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus (1 Th. 5:18).

I've decided I'm going to give Jealousy to God. He likes stray pets, right? :)